A Heart for Hospitality

My Newest Sign: The South

2011-06-27T14:01:00.007-04:00

The South - The place where…

1) Tea is sweet and accents are sweeter
2) Summer starts in April
3) Macaroni & cheese is a vegetable
4) Front porches are wide and words are long
5) Pecan pie is a staple
6) Y’all is the only proper noun
7) Chicken is fried and biscuits come with gravy
8) Everything is Darlin’
9) And someone’s heart is always being blessed

Now I ask you, what’s not to love about a place like this?

Three guesses as to where Ken bought this for me? You’re right, it was Savannah! How did you know?

Additional Photos of Paula Deen's Beach House

2011-06-12T22:20:00.008-04:00

Here are additional photos of the beach house. Blogger is giving me some problems tonight, so I had to publish this in two separate postings...

Unbelievably, the house also has a personal elevator. As the kitchen is on the second floor, getting groceries, luggage and supplies upstairs was made easier by this great feature. :)

Hospitality, Paula Deen Style

2011-06-12T21:29:00.062-04:00

As anyone who has read my blog for very long knows, I love Savannah, Georgia. We just went there in March for a spring vacation with our son who was on break from college. Some of you also know that my husband surprised me by making reservations for us at Paula Deen’s personal beach house. And as unbelievable as that sounds, it’s true. She has a couple of beach houses on Tybee Island (just outside Savannah), and this one is advertised as “Paula’s personal beach house” and is marketed with Mermaid Cottages. We had visited Tybee Island before, but had previously stayed at the Hyatt on River Street and at the Hamilton Turner Bed & Breakfast in Savannah. We highly recommend both of those, but this time decided to try something different, so Ken made reservations at this beach house.

So, regarding our recent stay, here are the questions I have received:
1. Did you really stay at Paula Deen’s personal beach house?
Yes.
2. Do you guys know Paula?
No. We all did meet her a few years ago when I attended one of her cooking classes. This was before Paula was the mega-media presence she is today. (Just for the record, I am a Paula FAN but not a groupie who follows her from place to place - a fan but not a fanatic.) At that time she held cooking classes, in both her restaurant and Uncle Bubba’s, her brother’s restaurant. The one I attended was at Uncle Bubba’s. To read about that adventure, please check out this blog entry:
3. Did you have to pay to stay there?
Uh, yep. We were fortunate that it was officially “off season” (the first time EVER we have rented a beach house off season!), and they do offer discounts. If you 're interested, be sure to ask when you call them. Anyone who has rented a beach house knows it’s not cheap. It was very comparable to others in the area, though.
4. What did the house look like? How was it decorated? Did you take pictures?
The house was beautiful, but not austentacious. It was decorated in her home furnishings collection and was complete with her line of cookware, dishes, and other things that I did not even know she endorses. There were dozens of family photographs adorning the walls and shelves. Anyone who has watched Paula for even a couple of episodes would recognize many in the photos. I am including some pictures we took during our week there.
5. Would you stay there again?
In a heartbeat! It was a wonderful location – close to the beach and not far from Savannah, my favorite place in the world. I would have to say, though, that the customer service and attention we received from Mermaid Cottages was unsurpassed. We have rented several beach houses through the years along the Outer Banks and never received service as good as what we received from them.
This photo was taken the day of the class. If you’re interested, you can read about that on the 9/9/09 posting on my blog. Here is the address (you'll probably have to cut and paste it into your browser):

http://aheartforhospitality.blogspot.com/search?q=paula+deen

But our trip this past March was a quickly planned trip to enjoy time with our son while he was on his spring break. Matthew wanted a place where he could walk on the beach but still have plenty of other things to do nearby. Naturally, we thought of Savannah (ok, I thought of Savannah!). So, Ken made accommodations and we were all delighted with them. The house was called, “Y’all Come Inn.” Now I ask you, how appropriate is that?! It was beautifully decorated and filled with lots of family photos and personal items. Paula’s cookware, dishes and home furnishing lines were well represented, too. It really was lovely. There were lots of small welcome gifts as well as a lot of varieties of sauces, spices and Captain Michael’s Coffee, as well. I was especially pleased with all the “little things” they provided. We have rented several beach houses through the years and this one was by far the best equipped. Part of the package also included a personalized cookbook.
The very best part, though, was that VIP reservations were made for us at both The Lady & Sons (Paula’s restaurant) and Uncle Bubba’s (her brother’s seafood restaurant). If you have been to The Lady & Sons or know someone who has, you are well aware that reservations are unheard of there. I’m not sure how it’s done now, but we when were first there several years ago, you had to stand in line to get a time to come back to stand in line a shorter time to get your table. I kid you not! And the first two times we went were in August and my sweet husband stood in that hot sun to get dinner times for us. At that time they formed reservation lines twice daily: one in the morning for lunch and then one later in the day for supper. People started standing in line hours before they started giving dining times, so it was not uncommon to stand there for 1-3 hours, just to get a time to go back and wait to get in. Crazy stuff, I’m telling ya! But….that all changed with this last visit. We were given reservations as often as we wanted in the week at both restaurants.
That was all due to my thoughtful husband.

And the food was wonderful. It’s like the food I was raised on and still make - the good, stick-to-your-ribs, country cooking. Fried chicken that melts in your mouth, green beans with ham and new potatoes, barbeque pork ribs, homemade dressing, macaroni and cheese, hoe cakes and cheese biscuits and so, so much more. And this was just part of the buffet. Delicious sweet tea with a mint garnish and several desserts to choose from are also part of the buffet. You can order from a complete menu, too. I wonder, though, who would go there and NOT have the buffet? I can’t imagine!
I’ve had lots of questions about our stay at Paula’s house and about visiting Savannah. If you have questions you’d like me to answer on the blog, please write me and I’ll answer them here. Leave a comment on the blog, email me or facebook me and I’ll answer your questions if I can.

Georgia On My Mind

2011-04-19T06:45:00.029-04:00

I don’t know what it is about Savannah, I really don’t. But for some reason when I get there I feel like I’ve gone home. And that’s just really weird since I had never been there until about five years ago. I mean, I’m from the south originally - Virginia - but I’ve lived so many places, it’s hard to imagine any place other than where we are now being home. As newlyweds, we began our married life in South Carolina and later lived in North Carolina. I think combined we lived in the Carolinas maybe 8 years. And we loved those places. But Savannah feels different. It's just....different. After our recent trip there in early March, my husband saw that familiar look in my eyes when we finally reached Savannah after hours and hours of driving. “Do I need to find a job here?” he asked. “Maybe,” I answered.

Even he and our college-aged son seem to feel an affinity for the area. Maybe it’s because I’m so drawn to it (and they therefore hear so much about it), I don’t know. We love where we live. Absolutely love it. This past winter has not made me happy, but otherwise we love Ohio and truly love our adopted hometown of Orrville. There is truly no place like it. It’s a good thing, because I think I’d be ready to head back south if it weren’t for that.

What is it I love so much about Savannah? If you've been to Savannah I think you'll understand a bit of my mentality here. If you haven't, I hope you get to go sometime! Here's just a taste of what you'll see... Now I ask you: what's not to love? ;)

I Got to Wear Sandals!

2011-04-13T10:56:00.012-04:00

We had not planned on a spring vacation this year. In fact, we rarely do much outside of home, work and school this time of year. So when we had the opportunity to go in March, it was a true gift. We decided to go then because our son’s summer schedule became pretty structured and full, when he accepted an internship. We were – and are – thrilled about the opportunity, but our August vacation schedule became a thing of the past all of a sudden.

So, we talked about what we should do for a spring break vacation. Since this past winter was especially cold and snowy, we all wanted to go someplace warm. So, we discussed our options. Well, my beloved Savannah, Georgia won out, because it fit all our requirements. Having been there twice before, we knew it met all our wants and needs for our trip. And what were those?

Ken just wanted all of us to be together and spend fun time as a family. Savannah provided that. He surprised me with a week at Paula Deen’s personal beach house (more on that later), where we were able to relax and enjoy fun, unstructured time as a family. It was awesome! (Yes, he IS the best!)

Matthew wanted to be able to walk on the beach and have fun things to do nearby. We actually stayed on Tybee Island, just outside Savannah. Both areas cater to tourists and have tons of fun things to do – both day and night – and we tried lots of new adventures. And yes, we walked on the beach. :)

Me? Well, I just wanted to wear sandals. So, it needed to be some place warm – or at least warmer than it was here at that time of year. I’ve always loved sandals but had no idea how much I had missed them until I wanted to wear them here and the temperatures were still below freezing - not exactly conducive to baring the piggies.

Because I talked about my desire to wear sandals so much before we ever left for vacation, Ken insisted on taking a photo of me wearing sandals while we were gone. So, my friends, I am including the photo of me in sandals - or at least NEAR my old, trusty kickabouts (I love these sandals so much that I have 3 different colors in the same style!). I know I am no foot model, but I can tell you that I was not particular about where we went; I just wanted to wear sandals. Funny what’s important to us, isn’t it? It seems every vacation has some fun memories associated with it. For me, being able to wear sandals ranks right up there this year.

Am I Lucky, or What?

2011-02-25T17:19:00.022-05:00

Are you a worrier? Do you often find yourself concerned about things over which you have no control? Well, it has been said that I have these tendencies. I can’t say I’m proud of this, but I can admit it is true (that is the first step in overcoming something, right?). When I think back about times I’ve been worried, and there are many – waaaayyy too many…. One in particular comes to mind, though.

About 10 years ago my husband was asked to speak at a national Toyota conference in beautiful C'oeur d' Lane, Idaho. I was invited to go as his guest and I must tell you, we were treated royally while guests of Toyota, and I still have fond memories of our time in Coeur de Lane (I wrote about this previously in a posting called, "What I've Learned About Hospitality from Others.")

http://aheartforhospitality.blogspot.com/2009/08/hospitality-is-so-much-more-than.html
(If this link doesn't work, just copy and paste into your browser to read, or type in "Toyota" in my search box.)

Again, let me say that I have great memories of our time there. The flight home was another story. should tell you that I am not a good flier anyway. I always dread flying and am so grateful when the trip – whatever it is – is behind me. But that particular trip home gave me a new appreciation for flying – or more specifically, landing. The beginning of the flight home was uneventful – my kind of trip. As we got closer to the Midwest, though, the weather changed dramatically and we had a lot of turbulence. It was loud and rocky and I was scared. I found myself very glad that our only child was safe at home with my dad and stepmom, who had come up from Tennessee for the week to take care of him. And as the trip progressed, I was also very grateful for my personal relationship with Jesus Christ, because I thought for sure I was about to meet Him.

I was in my seat praying and praying, trying to remain calm. I found myself thinking (and then saying aloud), “Peace! Be still” from Mark 4:39, when Jesus calmed the storm. “Peace! Be still,” I repeated to myself over and over. Others in the plane were clearly nonplussed, too. My husband, Ken? Nah. He was as calm as a cucumber . In fact, He took one look at me and started singing Veggie Tales songs to calm me. Veggie Tales! The words I heard were, “Oh where, is my hairbrush? Oh where, is my hairbrush?” Now to fully appreciate this, you need to understand that my husband is (self-proclaimed) follicle-y challenged. That is to say, very kindly, that he has very little hair. (It’s like I tell him, God made some heads perfect, and on the others He put hair.) But you get the message: this man takes it upon himself to calm the fear in the woman he loves. I am truly blessed.

Oh, and he has quite a sense of humor about it, too. This week we were relaxing in the family room and I was lamenting about something or other. We talked about it and I felt better. Then, I thought of another concern, which I mentioned to him. He raised his hand up in the air and touched his fingers against his thumb while moving his hand through the air. “Beep….beep….beep” he kept repeating. “What are you doing,” I asked? He smiled. I said, “What? What is it?” He smiled again, raised his arm up and again I heard, “Beep….beep….beep.” I was so confused. Then, he looked at me and said, “Your worry is like a heat-seeking missile. It keeps going until it lands on something.”

Yes, it is SO true that opposites attract. Poor guy, I wonder if he even had an inkling of what he was in for all those years ago when he asked me to marry him? Whether he knew or not, bless his heart, he’s stood in there with me. I am so blessed. It’s not every woman who can brag about a husband who sings Veggie Tales songs to calm her and tells her she’s got a personality like a heat-seeking missile! Am I lucky, or what?

A Lesson I Learned from My Son

2010-12-14T12:45:00.017-05:00

This morning I was reminded of an incident that happened when our son was small. The sweet memory immediately brought a smile to my face and I thought I would share the story with you today.

Let me preface this story by saying that we have tried to set a positive Christian example for Matthew as he was growing up. Although we have been far from perfect as parents, we have shared our beliefs and values with him in what we hoped were age-appropriate ways. He is an only child, and although we don’t have an issue with the term “spoiled,” we wanted to be sure that he wasn’t spoiled in a bad sense. That is to say, yes, he was showered with love and affection, but we wanted him to value people and to be a generous and giving person. At the same time, we wanted him to understand that we need to be good stewards of all that God has given us. (We need not have worried, because he is very saving and rarely asks for anything. Now, we know our child and know what he likes, but whatever we give him it’s because we want him to have it, rarely because he has asked for it.)

Keeping the good steward concept in mind, at some point I shared with him a verse from Matthew that my mother had used to teach me. It's Matthew 7:6 and reads: “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.”

Yeah, I know that’s pretty heavy stuff for a little guy. And I also realize the passage this is taken from teaches us that we should not judge others. In our case, I used it to also explain that we need to be good stewards of whatever we have. We need to be generous, but at the same time we need to be careful not to “throw away” that which we have worked for.

And he seemed to get it. I can’t remember the circumstances under which I talked to Matthew about it that time, but I can certainly remember the second time it came up… It was when he was about 8 or 9. At that time I used to work in a neighboring town. Because I was already there during the day, I would often stop by in the evenings to get my hair done at a salon in the area. I also took Matthew to this salon. He has always been particular with his hair (not in a mom’s way particular, but particular, nonetheless), and whenever I found someone who cut his hair the way he liked, we continued to darken their door.

I later came back to our town to work and eventually realized that both of us would need to find someone new to assist us in the hair department. So, I needed to explain that to him. Now remember, this was a child who was very particular about who cut his hair. So with that in mind, I started to explain to him that since I no longer worked near that salon, we would need to find someone closer to our town to cut our hair. It simply didn’t make sense to drive 20 minutes to get a haircut, since we would be driving there just for that purpose.

I expected a little friction at my announcement; I shouldn’t have worried. When I started to explain that we needed to be good stewards of what God had given us (which really meant not driving JUST to get his hair cut), he smiled like he understood. Then he said, “Yeah, I know, Mommy. It’s like that Bible verse, right? ‘Don’t let your pigs wear jewelry’?”

At first, I didn’t know what he was talking about, then I realized he was referring to the “don’t cast your pearls before swine” part of that lesson! I laughed so hard for so long. I still remember it! He laughed too, but he wasn’t quite sure why. He thought I was just happy that he had remembered the lesson. Well, I was happy about that and I was also happy to know that even when we don’t think our kids hear us, they do. It’s just not always in the way we say; it’s in their interpretation!

We still laugh about that lesson. Whenever we wonder if we should purchase something or support a cause we’ve heard about, we know we have to be careful. After all, you can't let your pigs wear jewelry!

Unexpected Blessings

2010-12-08T10:41:00.008-05:00

We have been on the road for part or all of the last five weekends for some wonderful events (well, most have been wonderful, and one 'weekend' was a Monday, but you get the picture....). As a result, it seems like our life has been rush, rush, rush. So, when this last weekend was filled with several reflective moments that truly stood out among the others, it made me think about just how very blessed I am. They have also made me think that God is telling me I should slow down and think about what I have. Instead of rushing forward to accomplish the next thing – whatever that thing is – that I should slow down and be grateful. I need to be more thankful for what I have been given and for what He has done. I thought I’d share these moments with you.

Our son brought nine members of Miami’s Table Tennis Team to our home to spend the night Friday night. They competed at the University of Akron on Saturday and we had the opportunity to host these young men while they were in our area. It was a special time and Ken and I loved every minute of it!

While they were here, Miami University (football) was playing in its conference match Friday night (MAC). After we welcomed the guys in and talked a bit, they were watching the game in the family room. I had taken a call in the living room, and after my call I just sat there, listening to the talk in the family room and looking at our Christmas tree, enjoying the beautiful lights.

Those of you who know me personally are well aware that I know nothing of football. What I do know is the sound of excitement I heard coming from our family room as Miami edged closer and closer to winning that game. Sure enough, Miami took the MAC that night! I heard whoops and hollers and my, did it do my heart good! You have to understand that Miami did TERRIBLY last year (maybe they were even in last place in the MAC??? I’m not sure…). I can tell you with all certainty that they won Friday night. Those guys were so excited! I hope they will remember where they were that night, because I know I will. Even though I know nothing about football, I’ll remember that.

The following day we met the team at U of Akron for the matches. Now, cheering for table tennis matches is kind of like cheering for golf and tennis – you have to be fairly quiet and very reserved. That however, did not stop us from ‘doing the wave’ on occasion for our team and providing other support as we deemed necessary.

We had the opportunity to steal a little time away with our son on that day. Our time with him is always priceless. We saw a different side of him that day, though. Matthew has developed a real compassion for ESL (English as a second language) students at Miami. He shared with us how the development of the table tennis team (which he and his friends founded at Miami last year as an intra-mural sport, and has since been picked up by the University as a Club Sport) is a “home away from home” for many foreign students without family ties near campus. Several ESL students practice with the team each week and three came last weekend; two were from China and one was from Viet Nam. Seeing our son exhibit this kind of compassion and mature in this way has been an incredible gift for us. Personally, I see it as an extension of hospitality, so I see it as a double blessing.

Because we’ve been away so much lately, we have missed many church services. On Sunday we took two cars because Ken needed to go into work and had to leave before service was over. As we sat there holding hands before he left, I sat there thanking God for the blessings I enjoyed in the man he had given me and the life we enjoy. I know I take so much for granted and right there in that very moment, it was like time stood still. Have you ever had that happen?

Later that evening, when Ken returned, it happened again. I had a headache and Ken held me on the couch. It was late afternoon, the lights were off and the snow was falling softly outside. It was so quiet and we didn’t speak. I just let him hold me and enjoyed the moment and watched the snow fall. The world seemed to stop – if only for a moment.

I was so thankful for that moment. It was actually at that time that the other three events of the weekend came to mind and I realized that they were connected. I think God is telling me to slow down and be thankful. I take so much for granted and have been blessed with so very much.

It’s especially easy to get drawn into a frazzled pattern this time of year. I have been so guilty of that in past years. I pray I can keep my focus on the Reason for the Season and remain thankful for all the blessings I have.

More Creative Ideas for Thanksgiving (and the Thanksgiving Dinner Table)

2010-11-24T11:17:00.014-05:00

Lots of visitors to my blog still arrive from an entry I posted last year about game ideas for the Thanksgiving dinner table. Here are 10 additional ideas to make your time together as a family more fun!

1. Start story time. Remember when mom...? or remember when Cousin Fred broke his foot skiing….?
2. Using a journal or notebook, jot down a thought about previous get-togethers. Encourage others to do the same and add to it each year.
3. Ask a grandparent, aunt or uncle to talk about a memory from childhood. Ask questions to show interest. You'll be surprised at how much they remember.
4. Talk about a family vacation. Hopefully with time, even the less-than-pleasant memories will be fun to recall now. Hopefully!
5. Start a new tradition. Have the kids make placemats, placecards or help with dessert. Often the kids are stationed at a separate table and that can be fun, too. After the meal, think about how everyone can come together for a fun time doing a special activity together.
6. Some families “draw names” for Christmas at the Thanksgiving gathering. We did this in my mother’s family and it was always a time we looked forward to each Thanksgiving with anticipation.
7. Create a simple craft tradition. Even teens and adults can enjoy a fun craft. If you have an hour or two of open time, a choice of crafts can easily fill that time and help to create fun memories. Be sure to take pictures to document the occasion.
8. Play a game. As obvious as it is, sometimes just a fun game can help keep everyone occupied and out of trouble. Apples to Apples, Banana Grams, Scrabble, Outburst and more come to mind. What’s the favorite in your family?
9. Set up a puzzle table. Some people love to have an activity but just aren’t the game type. Consider setting up a game table in the corner for these folks with a puzzle. You’ll be amazed at just how many people can’t resist stopping by to place a piece or two - or a hundred! Word searches are popular with the older crowd, too.
10. Keep a camera handy. You’ll want to take photos to commemorate the kids playing, grandparents playing with the babies and that infamous football game in the backyard. Memories are priceless and photos help us to remember them longer.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends. I wish you and yours a blessed holiday!

Hospitality is Not Wasted on the Young!

2010-09-16T10:16:00.011-04:00

You know how they say youth is wasted on the young? Well, I tell you that hospitality is not wasted on the young; it is alive and well! I am so impressed with this new generation of young people who will soon be entering the professional workforce. Just within the last two days, I’ve learned of two amazing examples and I want to share them with you.

When we met in Columbus with our son and one of his friends last weekend, we learned that their group of friends is planning a trip to Chicago soon. I offered to contact a friend’s daughter, who is a junior at the University of Chicago, to see if she could make a recommendation for a nice hotel close to downtown Chicago. They liked the idea of information from "an insider," and I offered to contact the young lady.

So I emailed Chelsea (whom I have met only once, when she was about 5 years old) and asked if she could suggest a hotel for the guys’ trip next month. Within hours I had a response from Chelsea. Imagine my surprise when I read her return email which had not only the hotel recommendation, but also information about the shuttle service the hotel offers as well as info about public transportation options in the area. And it didn’t stop there. Chelsea gave specifics about walking distance, time needed, costs and a even link for additional information! She also included a link to the hotel she recommended, which also offered a discount, if you can imagine that!

As if that weren’t enough, Chelsea offered her cell phone number and invited my son and his friends to call her with questions about directions or restaurant recommendations. Is that not amazing?! She took the time to give really useful information and all I asked for was a hotel recommendation! Yet, Chelsea thought of everything and truly exceeded my expectations with her amazing hospitality.

I heard a while back that Chelsea was considering law or journalism. I'm not sure the direction she has chosen, but I am very sure she will be successful in whatever career path she selects. I know she would be a HUGE success in the hospitality or traveling industries!

Just prior to my contact with Chelsea, I became aware of our son extending hospitality to a business associate of my husband’s. Matthew learned this gentleman would be at his college for a career fair and emailed him to offer his assistance. Upon learning the man would have no one to help him at the career fair, Matthew offered to help him set up, navigate campus and even meet him for a meal, if he would like. Even though he is pursuing a career path different from the one the man represents, Matthew offered to send some friends and acquaintances in his direction who might be interested in the field. We learned this from the emails they exchanged, which the man forwarded to my husband.

We hear so much about this generation being me, me, me! Frankly, I think we’re being unfair. Many in this generation show incredible character and maturity. If this generation is our future – and let’s face it, they are! – I think we’re in terrific, capable hands.

The Brower Bash

2010-09-04T14:30:00.046-04:00

Ken with his parents and sibs.
From bottom - up, L to R: Judy, Janet, Ken, Kevin, Keith, Bob and Jane

Pops and Nana with the 9 grandkids who were present. 4 grandkids (one with a spouse!) and 1 great grandchild were not able to attend.

The whole bunch - as Matthew called it, "Browerpalooza!"

The Outer Banks are near to my heart. If you’ve been a long time reader of my blog, you know that I’ve written about the Outer Banks before, focusing on how wonderful it was for us to “host” family and friends at a rented beach house. [To read this posting, please go to "Hosting Away from Home," from August 15, 2009.]

http://aheartforhospitality.blogspot.com/2009/08/hosting-away-from-home.html

I still contend hosting away from home is one of the best ways to entertain, as there is none of the fussing I do to get our own house ready for company!
We have such fond memories of all the times we’ve been to the Outer Banks and I highly recommend the area as a fun place to host a gathering with family or friends. We’ve rented beach houses there a number of times and had wonderful family vacations in various places along the narrow strip of land that spans miles and miles.

One year we took our boys (our son and his close friends from high school) the summer before they started High School. Four 14 year-olds! My cousin Lynn and her late husband, Rickey, along with their two children, joined us at a different time one year for a couple of days. And most recently, we hosted my husband’s extended family. Now that they’ve experienced it, too, our extended family also have an affinity for this wonderful area off the coast of North Carolina!

But, I suppose I am getting a little ahead of myself. To understand why it was such a special reunion with Ken’s family, I need to share a little history….

My husband is one of five kids. None of the five live close to each other. Kenny’s sister, Judy, lives in North Carolina and is close to where his parents live. His other siblings are also scattered far from us and this part of the country; Janet lives in St. Louis, Keith lives in Cincinnati and Kevin lives in Germany. Add grown grandkids to the mix and we dot the map in a much larger areas still.

Because of this ‘scattering’ it had been 14 years since all the siblings had been together. You read that right – 14 years! During that decade and a half, there were various get-togethers, but someone was always missing due to military deployment, pregnancy, illness or work commitments. It just seemed impossible to get everyone together as a family.

So early this summer, when our son, Matthew, learned that Kevin and his family were coming to the States for a visit, he decided we should all try to get the entire family together. Since Matthew was only 6 the last time we had all been together, he had not have the privilege of seeing – as an adult - his dad together with all his brothers and sisters. As an only child, I think he really longed for that connection to family - he wanted to get to know his aunts, uncles and cousins better and that he did!

The first part of the week we enjoyed our time at the beach house with our little family of three. Then on Thursday, the rest of the tribe joined us at the Outer Banks for a weekend Matthew called “Browerpalooza!” There were 20 of us present and it was amazing! A few were unable to attend (again, due to deployment and other things), but at least all the brothers and sisters were together along with their parents. That was the goal!

So, we visited and had an enjoyable 3 days together. We talked and ate and reminisced. Then we swam in the pool and at the beach and cooked and ate some more. It was a wonderful time to get together and a wonderful place to do it. The visit also provided us the opportunity to get to know Kevin’s family, whom we (Ken, Matthew and I) had not met. What a joy it was to meet Patty and their little boy, Ian!

As you know, hospitality is my thing. Imagine my joy to learn that Patty shares my love of entertaining and hospitality! She and Kevin cooked a delicious German meal for us and we ate as a family – a great, big family! As ‘only kids’, Matthew and I loved it! And so did everyone else. It was a real treat and a real blessing to all of us.

So, are we going to do it again? Kevin and Patty, who are moving to Florida later this year, have offered to host the next reunion. We are looking to reconvene in two years in the fall of 2012. I wonder if Disney World and Mickey Mouse are ready for Browerpalooza!

Shine Bright Baby

2010-08-30T10:08:00.022-04:00

Shine Bright Baby

A group of young people in our church have formed a group called Shine Bright Baby. They performed at Alive, the Christian music festival in 2009. An Alternative Rock/Christian band, Shine Bright Baby is a lively, talented musical group. I’ve heard them practicing in the teen center in the past. They are gaining popularity and are performing in various locations.

Shine Bright Baby recently released an awesome video featuring their song “Hourglasses” that I would love you to see! Grant and Cody Smucker, two of my son’s friends produced and directed this video, which I think is AWESOME! I have included the link and I hope you’ll check them out!

“Hourglasses” video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vln8oS3q0hQ

You can also find examples of more of their music at: http://www.shinebrightbaby.com

And on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/shinebrightbaby

Thanks for taking a peek! We are trying to give these guys some much-deserved publicity.

~Vanessa

Let The Decorating Begin!

2010-08-28T12:51:00.008-04:00

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love everything about it. (Well, almost everything. Just for the record, I do not like the spiders and critters that want to invade the sacred space of our home during this time, but all in all, it’s my favorite time of year.)

I love the gorgeous colors of fall, the changing leaves, the smell in the air, the thrill of the new school year, the excitement of the upcoming football games, the welcome sounds - that just barely reach our house - of our high school band practicing in the field at the high school in the afternoons. I ask you: What’s not to love?!

If you could see our family room at this moment, you would know just how much I love fall. These photos should help give you an idea… There are 7 huge storage containers full of fall decorations, not to mention wreaths, arrangements and fall trees that won’t fit into the boxes. There are pumpkins and scarecrows and arrangements, oh my! Pinecones and leaves and garlands and oh, so many things. And I love it all!

My husband, Ken, has been inquiring ‘what I want to do’ the last couple of weekends. Translation: is it time to dig out the fall stuff?? Bless his heart, he always carries and lugs my decorating stuff up and down, up and down the stairs for any given season. The fall and Christmas seasons are worst on him, though!

But at least for now, he’s finished carrying and now it’s time for me to get to work. Let the decorating begin!

Seizing the Moment

2010-07-14T16:42:00.041-04:00

Matthew and Ken at a Mets / Indians game this summer.

We have lots of what I call "forever memories" in our family. These are the moments in time that are so precious and so important that we can 'revisit' later and remember vividly. I have so many of these and I bet you do, too!

I have a picture frame that says, "Some moments we never forget because our lives have been changed by them forever." Yep, that pretty well sums it up! In this frame (see below) I have a photo of my husband and son that was taken on Mother's Day several years ago. Whenever I look at this photo, I remember that fun Mother's Day and sharing sweet moments with my boys on our patio. It was a wonderful afternoon and the memory of it and the laughs we shared that day is a "forever memory" for me and one that I revisit every time I see the photo. I love it!

The photo at the top of this posting was taken Father's Day week this year. Matthew surprised his Dad with tickets to the Mets vs. Indians game for Father's Day (a little early). I should note that we live near Cleveland and are also Indians fans, but my husband was born a New Yorker and has been a Mets fan since he was a little boy. His and Matthew's dedication to the Mets runs deep, much deeper than their dedication to the Indians. (Sorry dear friends who are HUGE Indians fans, but you already knew this!)

When Matthew surprised his Dad with tickets to 4th row seats for the game, they were both giddy with excitement. It was such a thoughtful gift and one Matthew was so exctied to present to his dad! The photo above was taken on that memorable night. Matthew invited me to go along, but it was a special night just for the two of them. So even though I wasn't even there, the evening is a memory FOR ME! I know how excited Matthew was to do something so special for his dad and how happy Ken was to share that time with Matthew. It became a "forever memory" for all of us.

Life is so short and can be full of disappointments. We need to have lots of special memories like these to carry us through the days when those moments seem so far away. We often reminisce about our fond memories in our family and it sometimes surprises me that some of our favorite ones are not big events or special occasions, but rather those every day experiences that we often take for granted.

We have been creating wonderful memories this summer with our son home from college. Our conversations around the dinner table, eating on the patio and Dairy Queen runs getting what we laughingly call "treats" are those which rank high on my list. I hope there are many more special memories to be made before the summer ends!

What "forever memories" will you create for your family and friends this summer?

Meet Rhonda (and try some of her awesome recipes!)

2010-07-08T11:08:00.009-04:00

This beautiful lady is my friend, Rhonda Wolpert.

Have you ever had a friend who was such a wonderful cook or baker that you asked for the recipe for nearly every dish of theirs you tried? One such friend for me is my friend, Rhonda Wolpert.

I had the privilege of meeting Rhonda when we both lived in Noble County, Ohio and our kids were in preschool together. Rhonda and I both worked at Caldwell Nursery School where our children attended. It was a co-op where parents were required to participate (which was AWESOME!), and Rhonda and I held elected (volunteer) positions. ( By the way, the teacher there was LaShona DeVolld, a lady who was nothing short of amazing and the greatest gift pre-school students and their parents could ever receive! But, I digress…..)

I learned so much from the way Rhonda conducted herself – both as a person with beauty and grace – and as a professional at the nursery school and in the boardroom. The ultimate professional, Rhonda was (and is) a wonderful example for her friends, family and beautiful children, Chelsea and Robert (Chelsea was, by the way, my son’s first girlfriend!).

Rhonda and I worked together and became fast friends. I learned so much from her in the two years our family was involved in the nursery school there (1994 & 1995). Shortly after we left the area Rhonda moved also. I am sad to say that life intervened and we kept in touch very little, until our children graduated high school. Amazingly, Rhonda and Chelsea attended Matthew’s graduation party last year. We could not have been more pleased! It was so wonderful to see our old friends from what seems another lifetime ago!

So today, I share a couple of the wonderful recipes Rhonda shared with me so many years ago. They have become family favorites and some of my ‘go-to’ recipes in My Favorites Collection. I share both often – especially the Monster Cookie recipe.
On Rhonda’s Facebook page recently, I read the comment “When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.” You can see why Rhonda is my kind of person!

Rhonda served our family Stromboli as an appetizer when we were invited to their home for dinner. I have tweaked the recipe thru the years, but I first received this yummy recipe from Rhonda. By the way, this was a huge hit as a supper swap meal served with pizza sauce and a salad. Yummy!

Easy Stromboli

1 loaf of frozen bread dough (I prefer Rhodes)
1 pound ground sausage (we're not sausage fans, so we use pepperoni)
1 small can of mushrooms, drained (optional)
1/2 cup chopped onion
8 ozs. shredded mozzarella cheese

Spray non-stick cookie sheet with Pam or non-stick spray. Place frozen bread loaf on cookie shet and cover with plastic wrap that has been coated with non-stick spray. Allow bread to thaw and rise (6-8 hours). Remove plastic wrap and using greased fingers, spread dough over cookie sheet.

Spread with sausage that has been completely cooked and drained. (Again, we prefer pepperoni. Thinly sliced deli ham is wonderful, too!) Sprinkle remaining ingredients over dough, leaving about an inch on all sides. Roll up jelly-roll style, long-ways. Place seam side down on greased cookie sheet. Pinch ends together and tuck under roll. Bake in 350 degree preheated oven for 18-22 minutes or until golden brown. Slice and serve warm with pizza or spaghetti sauce.

Monster Cookies

12 eggs
2 lbs. brown sugar
4 cups sugar
1 Tbls. vanilla
1 Tbls. corn syrup
8 tsp. baking soda
1 lbs. margarine
3 lbs. peanut butter
18 cups oatmeal (40-42 oz. size)
1 lb. chocolate chips
1 lb. M & M's plain
1 lb. butterscotch chips

Mix ingredients in order given in HUGE container (I use a stock pot). Mixture will be very difficult to mix as you get toward the end! Drop by teaspoon or tablespoon on cookie sheet, depending on the size desired. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes. Allow cookies to remain on cookie sheet if center is not completely set.

Makes 10-14 dozen, depending on the size made.

NOTE: These are a crowd favorite for all the little - and big - monsters in your life! I give out this recipe often. As you can see, it makes A LOT of cookies. If you haven't already, this is the perfect time to try out my freezer suggestion: simply put a cup or two of batter into a Ziploc freezer bag (I double-bag), label and freeze to enjoy later! Work now, enjoy later!!

I know you'll enjoy Rhonda's recipes as much as my family and friends have. Let me know the rave reviews you get and I'll pass them on to Rhonda!

You've been such a blessing to me through the years, Rhonda. I appreciate your friendship! Love you!

Getting Ready for College, Round 2 (aka A Very Comprehensive Checklist for College

2010-06-26T23:03:00.033-04:00

Not long ago I alluded to the lessons we learned after our only child went to college last fall. More specifically, I wrote about what we learned near the end of the school year when it was time to bring all the stuff home this past spring after that first year was over.

Thinking back, I remember sending out a Facebook request last year about this time for a comprehensive college checklist, hoping that someone I knew would send me the list they had used for kids heading away to college. So, when I was told "No such animal exists," I took it upon myself to draft one. Below is that list. I have changed the formatting to keep it a little more readable here on the blog. And in all honesty, we "picked up a few things" on the trip in to Oxford that never made it to the list. Still, here is a pretty doggone good list if I do say so myself. Of course, it is also a list that along with some canned soup and jugs of water would be of great service should you need to survive a nuclear holocaust holed up inside a bunker someplace for a couple of years.

So, with that in mind, you can understand the embarrassement I talked about in "It's All My Fault," on this blog on April 23, 2010. (To view it, just type It's All My Fault in the Search This Blog search box.)

And, here's THE LIST!!

Comprehensive List of Items for College

Bedding
2 sets X-tra Long sheets, Mattress pad, Comfort pad, Blanket, Throw, Comforter, Pillows/covers, Backrest, Throw pillow, Curtains/rod

Personal Care Items
Shower caddy, Shower shoes, Toothpaste/toothbrush/cover/floss
Soap, Deodorant, Shampoo/conditioner, Q-tips, Razor/groomer
Nail clippers/groomer kit, Brush/comb, Hairdryer, Meds/1st aid kit
Listing of emergency phone numbers, Contact lenses/case/cleaner and solutions
Glasses/case Towels, hand towels, washcloths, Tissues

Around Campus
Backpack, “Wooster” bag (it’s a ‘string’ bag), Umbrella, Bicycle, Lock for bike,
Golf clubs, Golf shoes

Appliances
Electronics/Entertainment, TV, DVD player, Microwave, Game system(s) / carry bags, Console, Camera, Ipod/accessories, Clock/radio, Phone/charger
Charging station

Laundry Items
Detergent/softener/dyer sheets, Tide pen, Stain stick, Hangers, Iron/steamer
Laundry bag, Pop-up basket, Laundry pen

Room Needs
Tool kit (screwdriver, adjustable wrench, duct tape, tape measure)
Sewing kit, Surge protector, Extension cords, 3-2 adaptors, S- hooks, Batteries,
Boot tray (yes, the infamous “Boot Butler Tray!!!”), Dry erase board,
Bulletin board, Fan, Flashlight/batteries, Lamp, Posters/decorations
Underbed Storage boxes, Desktop storage containers, Chairs,
Carpeting or Area rug (can often be purchased on campus), Bed lifts, Paper shredder
Sticky tack / 3-M hangers, Over the door hanger, Closet deodorizer
Photo frames, Other mementos, etc., Stacking/collapsible crates, Desk/letter organizer, Shelving or tables (for office items or personal care items), Fridge shelving unit

Kitchen Stuff
Brita water filter pitcher and filters, Bowls/silverware/cups/water bottle, Can opener, Chip clips, Cups/glasses,Baking soda (Buy 2 - 1 for fridge and 1 for freezer)

Study Needs/School Supplies
Planner – purchase on campus, Computer, Cables for computer, printer, etc.
Computer lock, Calculator, Lap desk, Sleeve for printer, Memory stick/flash drive
Copier, Paper/copier paper, Sticky notes, Calendar, Notebooks, Scissors/ruler,
Pens/pencils/sharpener/highlighters, Stapler/staples/tape dispenser/tape,
Rubber bands/paper clips, Letter opener, Files/labels/index cards, Drawer organizer, Book light

Misc.
Checkbook, ATM card/MU ID/etc.
Any MU paperwork
Stamps/notes, Sewing kit/safety pins/eyeglass repair kit, Safe, Ziploc bags,
Gym bag, Swimming trunks/towel, Storage containers, Paper towels,
Trash bags, Light bulbs, Dish wipes

Clothes
Underwear, Socks (athletic and dress)
Shoes (shower shoes, sneakers, boots, dress shoes, casual shoes)
T-shirts, Under shirts, PJ bottoms, Robe/slippers, Belts (casual and dress),
Jeans, Shorts, Casual shirts, Dress shirt, Dress slacks, Dress Jacket, Ties,
Sweats, Sweaters, Hoodies, Jacket, Coat, Gloves/scarf/hat

You'll notice I did not include any food items. Like I mentioned earlier, we stopped on the way in and bought a lot of those items. Some students are willing to do a little cooking and with the residence hall kitchen facilities can do a lot of it, if they want. Our kid? Not happening.

So, with all of this said and the list forever recorded for posterity, as they say, you'll be happy to know that we have decided to totally back off The List for the sophomore year. As a returning student, our son now knows what he needs and what he doesn't; we won't be sending a hundred of those,
you-might-need-this-at-some-point-and-you'll-be-glad-you-have-it-items. I imagine a lot fewer items will be heading from our house to Miami University this fall. But hey, at least he's got the list for reference, right?

If you have a college student going away for the first time this fall, I hope YOU find this list helpful!

Just Hanging Out

2010-06-25T10:21:00.006-04:00

It's finally Friday. Woo-hoo! I am so glad it's finally the weekend. Anybody with me?

I know it's been forever since I've posted and you've let me know. Sorry! So, I thought I'd let you know what I'm up to and promise some postings soon.

I am finishing up a craft project on the patio today, hanging out with Jeffrey Bob (look at him in all his glory! He's so excited now that all his leaves are in!! There's a close up of Jeffrey Bob for any newbies...). It's a BEAUTIFUL day in Ohio and I just want to soak in the sun and the light breeze this morning!

So, I hope to see you soon, friends! Have a wonderful, SON-kissed day!!

~Vanessa

A Lesson from Sara Sturgeon & A Recipe for Poppy Seed Chicken

2010-06-15T14:16:00.036-04:00

Recently the subject of family dinner time has presented itself to me over and over. First, of course, our son is home from college for the summer and dinner is once again a ‘family affair’ as we knew it for so many years. Yay!!

A Facebook friend who is in graduate school and actively shares parenting responsibilities with his wife is on break from classes for a little while. This young family will, at least for a little while, be able to enjoy the elusive dinner hour collectively as a family – a difficult task in their family where work and class schedules are, no doubt, challenging on the best of days.

As important as we know it is to sit down and have a meal together, sometimes making it happen seems about as likely as revisiting the Walton’s, where it seemed to be the unquestioned way of life. We want to sit down and have a meal that someone - no offense guys, but in most cases, that someone is typically the mom of the family - has prepared for the family to enjoy. We want to be relaxed and have a lovely, well-balanced and nutritious meal with a perfectly set table and children who are behaving and using their best manners. In reality, the work schedules of parents and teens often conflict with making this Walton-esque scenario a reality. When we add in outside responsibilities and kids’ sports schedules and errands and chores and caring for elderly parents, and .... well, it’s just hard to get it all done.

I had an opportunity to sit down for a marketing meeting with one of “my boys” for a while recently. He had a great year in college and will be spending the summer in Cincinnati doing an internship. During that time, he told me he is looking forward to some Brower family dinners. Oh, it did my heart good to hear him say that! He specifically mentioned the salmon I often make a couple of times during our conversation. Ironically, he didn’t even used to like fish! He had salmon here a couple of times within the last few years after which I would sometimes hear from him, “Is it fish night?” when dinner time rolled around. I always got a kick out of that. He loves Ken’s burgers, too, and most recently requested those (Ken is, afterall, the grill master.) We love to know that our kids want to be here with us for meals! We treasure those hours with them.

But – back to the family dinners. It wasn’t until we moved to Orrville, that I actually heard someone verbalize the importance of the family dinner – that is, eating together DAILY. I worked with a wonderful lady at the Orrville Area Chamber of Commerce in Orrville a number of years ago when we first moved to Orrville. Her name is Sara Sturgeon and she is an awesome lady! Fun and fun to be around, Sara is one of the funniest gals I’ve ever known. Just thinking of her makes me smile, yet I can’t remember any specific thing she said. Ever know someone like that?

Well, Sara had these two terrific girls - Stephanie and Katie - who just excelled at everything and I imagine they still do!. At that time our son was in first or second grade. I remember asking Sara what the secret was to raising such incredible kids. Without hesitation she told me that she believed the family dinner was critically important. She said that she and her husband, Bill, had always tried to make time each day to eat together with their girls and reconnect as a family.

I never forgot what Sara shared with me, and Ken and I tried to implement that lesson through the years as Matthew grew up. Even if we were eating at odd times during golf or baseball season, we always tried to eat together. I could see what Sara meant: regularly reconnecting was crucial. I truly believe it made a difference in our family as our son grew up, too.

I know that Sara, who worked full-time, was very busy with her daughters’ schedules. They were very active and were involved in many extra-curricular activities. To make sure they were able to have dinner together, Sara would often begin preparation for their dinner meal when she went home for lunch. For example, she might prepare a casserole and refrigerate it so that it so that it could be baked later. That preparation impressed me so much! Dinner was clearly a priority to her and to their family. What a woman! And what an inspiration she was to me when we worked together. Some people touch our lives in ways that are difficult to express. Sara is one of those people for me.

Sara's daughters are all grown up now and Sara is a grandma. What a very cool grandma she must be! She will create laughs for those kids that they can carry in their hearts forever! She has the light-hearted sense of humor that touches everyone and leaves you feeling happy.

Sara shared a recipe with me that has become a family favorite. Like so many recipes, I have tweaked it so much that I don’t even know what the original recipe was. I do, remember, though, that it came from Sara! This is one of Matthew’s favorite recipes. For you regular readers, I serve it with the rice recipe I shared previously (“Dear Abby’s Infallible Rice”).

POPPY SEED CHICKEN
5-6 chicken breasts, deboned and with skin removed**
1 cup sour cream (preferably Smith's!)
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup melted butter or margarine
3 sleeves Ritz cracker crumbs
1-2 Tbls. poppy seeds
1/2 cup chicken broth
Salt and pepper to taste

-Use cooking spray to grease 9 " x 13" casserole dish. Cook chicken until well done (I like to cook mine in the crock pot for several hours.).
-While chicken is cooking, melt margarine in large saute pan on stove top over medium heat. Add Ritz cracker crumbs and heat through. Set aside.
-Cut thoroughly cooked chicken into bite-sized pieces. Place in large bowl.
-Add soup, sour cream, poppy seeds and chicken broth. Mix well. Spread into greased casserole dish.
-Spread buttered cracker crumbs over top of all.
-Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for about 40 minutes or until bubbly.

Notes: Refrigerate leftovers. Reheats well.

**I like to use chicken pieces with bone and skin intact until cooked, as they make a tastier broth. Both can easily be removed later.

Enjoy! And if you see Sara Sturgeon, tell her she’s my
hero(ine), will you?

We All Need a Lynda in Our Lives

2010-06-08T10:29:00.026-04:00

This beautiful couple are Lynda and Brian Holmes. If you see Lynda today, give her a big hug for me!

We all need a Lynda in our lives.

You might remember I wrote about “Linda” before. Linda is a close, dear friend who lives near me. We all need one of her in our lives (please read the posting on 8.24.09 titled “Be A ‘Party In A Box’”), because everyone needs a friend like Linda.

But today I write about a different person - Lynda. And trust me, we all need a Lynda in our lives, too.

Lynda Holmes, a friend from my church who also happens to be our church secretary. Lynda is one of the most positive people I know. When I fuss about being overwhelmed, I remember Lynda once calling such craziness “busy blessings.” Now, does that give you an idea about this gal?

Recently I wrote about some hurts I’ve been dealing with – and have been for a long time. These days they just seem to keep resurfacing. Some days I deal with it better than others. I’ve never been one to hold a grudge. Generally I’m able to let hurts go, too, but for some reason these particular hurts seem to, well, resurface often.

So today I received a sweet email from my friend, Lynda. Lynda, who has been a personal supporter and fan of my blog from the early days, sent me a link to a daily devotional she receives. When I opened the link to take a peak, guess what greeted me? A posting on this website called “The Blessings of Forgiveness” – how timely is that?!

I read the posting and got so much from it. It was nice to see someone going
through what I was and am dealing with (as selfish as that sounds!). It was also awesome to read the writer's thoughts on how to deal with these hurts. If you are dealing with these kinds of issues, too, I hope you’ll take two minutes to read this. While on the website, you can also sign up for daily devotions to be emailed to you, as I did. I love this website! So, courtesy of Lynda, I share it with you, too:

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/

I would like my email from Lynda today to serve as a reminder to me - and to you, too. If you feel compelled to send a note or email someone to encourage them - DO IT! You never know what that can mean to someone needing support and a reason to smile.

Thank you, Lynda, for being my friend and for caring about me. I wish you blessings today, my dear friend! Love you!

My Mother's Strawberry Pie

2010-06-05T18:20:00.035-04:00

This photo was taken in 1992, just a few months before my mom died. Kenny, Matthew and I were living in Durham, NC at the time.

With strawberry season upon us, I just have to share this recipe and these thoughts in memory of my mother….

I have never met a dessert I haven’t liked. I got this (un)enviable characteristic from my mom, Irene Lester, who loved to eat desserts as much as she loved to make them! In fact, she was known for making a wide assortment of delicacies. I have such fond memories of growing up in a home where there were always delicious cakes and pies and fruit desserts, oh my! And the platters of fudge were simply the best! When family and friends came to visit they would place “requests” for their favorites. I remember one occasion where someone requested a ‘repeat’ of a dessert my mom had never made. The person confidently maintained that she knew my mom had made the recipe for her once before, years previously. Although she had never made it, my mother graciously found a recipe and made it anyway, to rave reviews. She was like that.

One of my favorite desserts was my mom’s strawberry pie. I think that’s because she had loved Shoney’s Strawberry Pie for so many years and when she discovered this recipe (from where, I have no idea), she was in heaven! She was so happy with this recipe! And it’s no wonder – this recipe is the best strawberry pie I’ve ever tasted. Make your own crust and use fresh strawberries with this filling for the best strawberry pie ever! My mom did not enjoy making pie crusts (in fact, she used pre-made unbaked crusts), so I have included the recipe I always use. I love homemade pie crusts and I love this pie crust recipe! I think the combination of this particular crust with the strawberries and filling is awesome!

I still miss you so much, mommy! I remember so many fun times in the kitchen with you and planning get-togethers with family and friends. You taught me hospitality by living it every day. I often think of you as I am preparing meals and desserts and I will always cherish my memories of you and my love of the kitchen and all things home I learned from you. You are still so much a part of who I am. I love you.

Note: These recipes from my collection were first published in The Daily Record on June 18, 2003 in the "President's Cookbook" when I was involved with Relay for Life. I know some of you have shared with me that you kept that article and still use some of those recipes. I'm so glad!! So, the recipe for the "The Perfect Pie Crust" and "My Mom's Strawberry Pie" are the same recipes that were published at that time along with several others.

My Mom's Strawberry Pie

1-1/2 cups water
3/4 cup sugar
1-1/2 Tbls. cornstarch
1 small box strawberry gelatin
fresh strawberries

-Combine water, sugar and cornstarch. Cook over medium heat and allow to boil for two minutes. Remove from heat and add gelatin slowly, while stirring. Let mixture cool to lukewarm.
-While mixture is cooling, cap, wash and slice strawberries; allow to drain thoroughly. Spread evenly into baked pie crust (see recipe below for my Perfect Pie Crust).
-Pour cooled gelatin mixture over berries. Cool completely before serving. Keep pie refrigerated.
-Note: Recipe doubles very nicely.

My Recipe for The Perfect Pie Crust
1 cup all-purpose flour (sift after measuring)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shortening (I use regular solid Crisco , but NOT butter-flavored)
2-3 Tbls. cold water

-Sift flour and salt together.
-Cut shortening into flour with pastry blender or 2 dinner knives until the size of small peas. Be sure all shortening pieces are coated with flour.
-Using a fork, toss while adding water, 1 tablespoon at a time (I like to use water with ice cubes in it so that it's REALLY cold water.).
-Mix with fork until all particles stick together and ball forms. Wrap ball of dough in waxed paper and allow in chill in fridge.
-Lightly roll out pastry on floured surface. Lift into pie plate and pat out air. If crust is to be baked without filling, use fork to carefully prick bottom (you want to get out the air, but making holes too large will enable liquid to seep through, which will ultimately make the crust soggy). Fold under edges and crimp. Bake at about 425-450 degrees for 10-12 minutes or until LIGHTLY browned. Watch CLOSELY.
This recipe doubles beautifully!!

Note: DO NOT prick bottom if you are going to use this crust in a filled pie.

If you try these recipes, please write a comment or email me to tell me how they turn out!

"Cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you."

2010-06-04T09:05:00.017-04:00

I’ve been dealing with some hurts in my life this week. No, it’s not from my husband or son. It’s not from friends I see all the time. In fact, it’s not from anyone who is active in my life right now. Rather, these hurts go way back. You know those things that bother you and you think you have moved past, but then they resurface when you’re most vulnerable? Yeah, those things.

While reading my Bible today, 1 Peter 3: 8-17 reminds me to keep my focus on God and not on the hurts that revisit my mind. Verse 9 says, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” Ouch! That really hits home!

I have to tell you, I’d much rather repay insult with insult, but I know this is not Christ-like. So, I’ve been praying for peace today, that God would cover all those hurts with His grace and His love so that I may reflect that love in my actions. In all honesty, I’m still not feeling the love for those who’ve hurt me, so I need to continue to trust that God is doing a great work in me as I continue to pray for wisdom and guidance.

I learned yesterday of another friend who is dealing with hurtful issues from the past that she is now having to “revisit” for other reasons. I pray that she, too, will be able to rely on the One who makes all hurts tolerable. These verses today are for both of us and for you, too, if you’re dealing with hurts that are difficult to bear. I find so much comfort in knowing that I don’t have to bear these burdens alone, that I can always rely on our heavenly Father.

1 Peter 5:7 reminds me to “Cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you.”

Donating Blood - Another Important Way to Show Care for Others

2010-06-02T09:00:00.046-04:00

Yesterday was our monthly blood drive for Leadership Orrville. We each (from the class) donate only an hour of time to greet, register and help screen donors, but I always come away in awe of those who give blood and donate it so unselfishly for others - for people they do not know and will probably never meet. One lady who stopped by said she is a regular donor, but stopped yesterday simply because she saw the sign posted in front of the church. In my opinion, such an act of love for others is hospitality at its best!

The following is listed on the Red Cross Website:

Every minute of every day, someone needs blood. That blood can only come from a volunteer donor, a person like you who makes the choice to donate. There is no substitute for your donation.

When you make a blood donation, you join a very select group. Currently only 3 out of every 100 people in America donate blood.

•Every two seconds someone in the U.S. needs blood.
•More than 38,000 blood donations are needed every day.
•More than 1 million new people are diagnosed with cancer each year. Many of them will need blood, sometimes daily, during their chemotherapy treatment.
•A single car accident victim can require as many as 100 pints of blood.
__________

Please check out this website for FAQs about giving blood:

http://www.givelife2.org/donor/faq.asp
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If you're a donor already - THANK YOU!! If you don't know if you're a candidate, check out the Red Cross website or stop by a local blood drive today. It's quick and easy to learn if you qualify as a donor! It could make all the difference to those you love...

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I had meant to take my camera to get some photos of those working at the blood drive, but I forgot to take it yesterday (by the way, this is done in conjunction with Aultman Hospital and our own Dunlap Community Hospital). So, when Ken came home after donating on his way home and began wearing his (over) bandage as a headband, I thought I would just snap a photo of him. I thought you'd get a kick out of seeing him having so much fun with his colorful bandage! While his kidding around is not at all uncommon, catching it by photograph is unusual!

The photo below is Matthew and me cracking up while Ken the Samarai warrior took our picture.

The Julie and Julia Fete!

2010-05-28T16:01:00.026-04:00

I was invited to a fun party at my friend Cheryl’s house recently. It was a “chick flick” movie preview of Julie and Julia, and it was unlike any preview or party I had previously attended. My husband and I have hosted similar events but I have never hosted a “chick flick” night like this and it was such fun! With permission from Cheryl, I am sharing the invitation with you. As you can see, the anticipation started even with the invite and the event delivered!

To fully understand the event, it would be helpful if you understood my friend, Cheryl. An incredibly bright, no-nonsense kind of person, Cheryl has a passion for lots of things - as I know her, most notably four:

1. her relationship with Christ;
2. her relationship with her family – consisting of her husband, John, and their four children;
3. her work as an attorney; and
4. her role as a “hockey mom” to those students she and John have billeted for three years. And yes, she is very busy!

As you might expect from my description of Cheryl, the collection of her friends that evening is best described as eclectic! It was a fun group of young and not-as-young professional women, and among them were some who were employed, some who were retired and some who were stay-at-homers by choice.

Each gal brought something yummy to share. There were stuffed mushrooms and a delicious cream cheese-filled baked pastry that was awesome, as well as other very interesting offerings. And of course, I cannot forget the ice cream and dope. “Dope" it seems, is apparently an old Orrville term for the toppings we enjoyed with our ice cream. Who knew?! There were lots of other delicious delicacies, as well.

Cheryl co-hosted the event with her mother, Jackie - a real, authentic French lady. I do love to hear her speak, because although she speaks English very well, she also has that beautiful woman-of-the-world French accent that always has intrigued me so!

With memories of college French classes still plaguing me these umpteen years later, I felt I had to come clean (have I ever told you I was thrilled when I learned I could take French pass/fail instead of for a real grade?). As the movie began, “I really struggled with French in college,” I announced to the group (but mostly to Jackie). Jackie, without missing a beat, said “That’s ok. I struggled with English at first, too!” I had met Jackie briefly before, but I knew at that moment I was going to love her!

I should explain that the “limited seating” listed on the invitation was an indirect reference to the media room at Cheryl and John’s house. They have a projector to view movies like we do in the Matt-cave, but they also have real, original theatre seating. How cool is that?! When Orr Twin Cinema closed a few years ago, the fixtures went up for auction. Cheryl and John purchased and installed a couple of rows of the original theatre seats. What fun! John did an amazing job re-doing the seats and Jackie, reupholstered the seats beautifully (learning that she upholsters, too, I now call her “Jackie-of-all-trades”)!

I had seen the movie Julie and Julia previously, but I saw it through new eyes that evening! We laughed and ate and watched the movie together. It was such a fun evening and a terrific way to watch a chick flick! Thank you, Cheryl and Jackie, for such a wonderful, fun, enlightening evening. Your hospitality made the rest of us feel right at home. Love you both!

The BEST Chocolate Chip Cookies

2010-05-19T10:58:00.005-04:00

Ok guys, you voted and I heard you! Thank you to those who voted. A request for recipes received first place, with hospitality hints and home organization ideas tied for second.

Many of you have tried the recipes I’ve posted and you know I only post easy, tried-and-true recipes. Because I get so many requests for my chocolate chip cookies (most recently from a party I attended at my friend, Cheryl’s house), here is that recipe. Gloria emailed also and asked about the kind of chocolate chips I use. I typically use semi-sweet and that’s what was in the ones I took to the party. So Gloria - a person who in my mind is synonymous with hospitality - this recipe is especially for you! I hope you enjoy it!

Vanessa’s Chocolate Chip Cookies

3 -1/3 cups self-rising flour
1- ½ cups margarine or butter, softened
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
1 pkg. (6 oz. serving size) vanilla instant pudding mix, dry
1-1/2 tsp. vanilla
3 eggs
3-4 cups chocolate chips
1-1/2 cups nuts, if desired (walnuts, pecans, even macadamia nuts are wonderful!)

Combine butter, the sugars, pudding mix and vanilla in large bowl; beat until creamy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Gradually add flour; stir in chocolate chips and nuts. Batter will be stiff.

Bake in desired size on ungreased cookie sheets. Bake at 375 degrees and begin checking at 8 minutes. Allow to set and cool slightly before removing from cookie sheet. Makes 4-6 dozen. Store tightly covered.

Here are some “secrets” I’ve learned when it comes to making highly-requested chocolate chip cookies:

1. Refrigerate batter before using. This keeps the cookie from “spreading” too much during baking.
2. Use parchment paper on your baking sheets. I LOVE parchment paper!
3. Make cookies the same size so that they cook evenly. I use a Pampered Chef cookie scoop.
4. Save a few chocolate chips to add on top of the cookies after you drop on the cookie sheet.
5. Try different combinations. Use different flavored pudding mixes, chips and nuts. The combinations are endless!
6. Save some batter for later. I try to keep batter in the freezer at all times. Just take a couple of cups and seal it in a freezer Ziploc bag. Make sure to remove all the air and label it. Try to use it within a couple of months. It’s so nice to have the batter made up because it thaws very quickly and within minutes you can have freshly baked cookies for your kids, grandkids -- or yourself!

Enjoy friends!

Feed the Fish!

2010-05-13T15:26:00.002-04:00

By the way, you can "feed" the fish! Just click and in different places and they will be given food, which they will eat!! :-)

Why The Fish?

2010-05-13T11:40:00.005-04:00

I bet you're wondering: why the fish? Well, I'm glad you asked (so to speak, or um, write). Actually, because I just learned they are available.

My husband has called me Fish, Baby Fish, F, Fishter, Little Fish, F-ster, (well, I think you get it) for as long as we've been together. It's been his nickname of choice for me. And yes, there is a story behind it, but it is truly too long to share. Suffice it to say that the fish are fitting...

And yes, I have nicknames for him, too. They are equally unusual, and just as difficult to describe. But the fish are just for me. As he says, I am The Fish.

We have literally dozens of nicknames for Matthew. He will be so happy to know that I will not share those here.

I bet you have nicknames for those you love, too. Amazing, isn't it, how we tag those we love with silly little names? Yet, just the mention of the word conjures up memories of days and times gone by? My husband's parents each refer to the other as "Bird" and have for as long as I can remember. I have no idea how it started but it's not unusual to hear when we are with them. It cracks me up every time.

So, my friends, I wish you a happy day with those you love - whether they are fish or bird or Bubby or Munchkin or .....

Mother's Day - Past and Present(s)

2010-05-09T22:24:00.048-04:00

I’ll never forget Mother’s Day the year my mother died. We had just moved from Durham, North Carolina to North Canton, Ohio in February. My mom died less than 2 months later, in April.

Mother’s Day that year began like virtually every day since my mom had died, with me crying and feeling alone and helpless. I knew I needed to go to church, so Ken and I got Matthew, our 2-1/2 year old toddler ready and went to church. Of course we still did not have a home church yet, so we were visiting a new one that Sunday.

We walked through the front doors of the church and the tears began to fall, uncontrollably. I’m not even sure if we sat down; I knew I had to leave. I could not bear the thought of being with anyone celebrating mothers on the first Mother’s Day after I’d lost my own mother.

That was 17 years ago. Amazingly, it seems like it was last month. Yet, virtually everything in my life has changed since then. From an earthly standpoint, only Ken, my husband, and Matthew, our son, have remained constant. In the time since then, I’ve lost my father as well. Like I said, virtually everything has changed.

Although I still miss my mother unbelievably, time has provided much healing. God’s grace has been ever-present and His love, unfailing. My husband has been steadfast in his support and his understanding, and our son, compassionate and always willing to hear me reminisce.

All these years later, I am able to love Mother’s Day again. With our son just returning home from college for summer break, I was blessed that he was able to join us on this very special day. His presence at home is “present” enough, but his attending church with us was much better still!

There were so many wonderful moments today. We created some special memories that I will treasure. We had fun and lots of laughs while taking and viewing photos from today. I received several presents from Matthew and Ken to commemorate the day, and what made me feel most loved was learning that Matthew had made special plans for the day. He made reservations for all of us to go out for a special dinner at Flemings in Fairlawn. I had never gone there but as soon as we walked in, I knew it was a special place for a special dinner. I was not disappointed. We enjoyed a lovely dinner and I received two gifts from the restaurant – a gift card and a box of truffles to take home. What’s not to love about this place? What was most special about all of it was learning that Matthew had made reservations weeks ago for this very day. I felt so loved and so special!

I can’t deny that I love the presents and the special attention from Matthew and Ken. Their thoughtfulness is truly appreciated. But you know what my favorite gift was? It was sitting in church with both my boys. It didn’t cost a penny but it meant the world to me. Knowing we were together and worshipping as a family was a priceless gift and the one I treasure most of all on this Mother’s Day.

Thank you, Matthew and Ken, for making this day so special! We made some wonderful memories today and I cherish all the minutes we have together. I love you.

"God of This City" - Orrville

2010-05-06T08:48:00.021-04:00

Hello Friends,

I saw this video for the first time today. It was listed on our Chamber of Commerce facebook page as our community celebrates the National Day of Prayer. Watch this and it will help you understand why I love Orrville (or at least some of the reasons why I love it!)! There are great photos set to Chris Tomlin's "God of This City."

We lived 12 places in the first 13 years of our marriage; the last 13 we've lived in Orrville - the place Paul Powell called "The Promised Land." I hope you'll take a look for an inside view to Orrville to see why I love love this place more than anywhere I've ever lived.

~Vanessa

p.s. credit to pbuchwalter1

The 'Summer List'

2010-05-02T08:10:00.026-04:00

Our family started a summer project quite a few years ago – I think it was when our son was in late elementary or early junior high school. We continued with it, mostly during the summer for several years, and it became something I looked forward to with anticipation every summer. To some degree we still revisit it and have fun with it, but it's much less structured now.

Knowing how kids often get bored within a day or two of summer break, I remember thinking one year that we needed to try a ‘proactive’ approach to the “I’m bored!” scenario. I decided I would compile a list of tasks that I wanted Matthew, our son, to master that summer. Before unleashing this great plan on him, I remember asking him what fun things he’d like to do over summer break. I asked him if there was anything he had a particular interest in or would like to learn how to do. He shared some thoughts with me and Ken and I shared with him some tasks we wanted him to work on over the summer.

Apparently the idea of mastering 'the summer list' was challenging and different - just enough different to keep Matthew interested because it worked. For that summer and the following several summers he, his dad and I identified age-appropriate skills we thought worthy of attention. We recorded the list and posted it, and then every week or so Matthew would take on a new challenge. By being able to see the list before him and having the option to choose the one he wanted to do on a given day, I think he felt he had freedom and some control of the way the summer progressed. It helped the boredom blues tremendously.

The one item that is most clear in my memory happened the year Matthew got his Learner’s Permit. I told him I was going to choose a place for a ‘day trip’ for us. I would choose a location (a business) and his job was to drive us there (it was during the week and his dad was working, so it was just the two of us). Matthew's job was to find the address of the business, research the best way to get there, and drive me there himself. I told him he could get directions by any means he chose – he could call ahead, use a map or atlas or use the internet, but that it was HIS responsibility to make the plans and preparations. He did his homework and performed the tasks perfectly. We were proud of him and I believe he felt he had truly accomplished something.

This particular task was a great experience for our son because although we have traveled by car a great deal in his lifetime, prior to that he had never been responsible for driving us to a specific destination or choosing the route we would take to get there. It was a simple task, really, but as a young driver it gave him a lot of confidence. He learned he was capable of more than he realized and he saw that he was certainly up to the challenge. His confidence continued to grow and he has since driven through many cities and states and seems to be confident negotiating his way wherever he wants to go.

We did lots of other fun things, too. During one of those summers we also opened a checking account which he was responsible for maintaining. Matthew was only 14, I think – an age which is years before most banks even allow a minor to have a checking account. Yet, where there’s a will, there’s a way, as they say. I was not at all concerned about Matthew overdrawing his account. Ken and I simply wanted him to be comfortable with the nuances of a checking account so that once he went to college he would be prepared. As it turned out, he went to Australia several years before college and by the time he left for his trip, he had already had mastered his own VISA card, which proved to be invaluable to him during his three weeks in the South Pacific.

Now, if Matthew had been a child with a spending problem, we could not have turned him loose with a credit card at that age! But he has always been a conscientious spender and I truly believe that entrusting him with these kinds of responsibilities when he was ready was a valuable learning opportunity – for him and for us. With each task he mastered, we realized he was becoming more mature and more responsible. His handling of a given responsibility led to our giving him additional responsibilities which then led us to trust him even more. It was truly a win-win for all of us. I loved the summer lists!

One day (early on in this project process) the boy learned how to do laundry and he finally understood why I have all those different stacking baskets with clearly marked labels, like whites, dress clothes, etc. Word of advice: if you have your kids take on this task for the summer, 'rerun' the laundry episode on a regular basis. I’ve learned teenagers need to do laundry on a faily regular basis to remember all the intricacies of laundry instructions. I know some families who actually have their kids do their own laundry all the time beginning at about this age. I can see how that could make the transition to college life a lot easier for some kids.

We can’t turn kids loose with the keys to the Jag when they are 12 (and no, we don’t have a Jag). At the same time, if we don’t give them responsibility and show them that we trust them, how will they acquire those skills? If we give them responsibilities while they are still in our care (and under our roofs, so to speak), we can be a sounding board and help guide them in the process.

During the early years, we began with tasks such as setting the table, vacuuming and making different kinds of reservations on the phone. As we progressed, we tackled some items that did not thrill Matthew, but which were important, nonetheless. These included ironing a dress shirt, cooking basic foods and completely cleaning the bathroom (yes, toilet and all).

I remember ‘city driving’ was also covered around that time. We live in a small town and there usually aren’t many traffic challenges here! However, we live close to Cleveland and other large areas which provided opportunities to work on this area. (Side note: In the winter, even before he received his driver’s license we took him to large snowy and ice-caked parking lots to learn to drive in snow and ice.)

Matthew had a lot of great ideas that he wanted to pursue, as well. One summer he wanted to stay alone overnight in the house. As protective parents, his request to do this over the years had caused more than a little anxiety. Yet, we knew it had to happen sometime! When we felt he was responsible enough to handle it, we did allow him to spend the weekend at home by himself. I’m not sure who was more surprised – Matthew that we let him, or us, for consenting! I’m sure Ken and I gained as much or more than Matthew from this one.

I think if I were to offer any suggestions about this process, it would be to start at an earlier age. Even young elementary school kids have skills they want to learn or need to start learning. If we don’t teach kids, how will they know how to load the dishwasher properly or (Heaven forbid) how to clean the kitchen after supper by actually handwashing the dishes (this one should have been on our list but wasn’t!)?

Does this idea appeal to you? No matter what age your children or how many kids you have, there are probably skills you'd like to teach them. What items would your kids find on their 'summer lists'?

It’s never too late to learn something new. Even though Matthew has worked since he was 16 (and full-time each summer), there was still time to master new challenges. Now that the freshman year of college is over and only finals remain, he will soon be home. He has a full-time marketing internship this summer and will no doubt be quite busy. Still, I know of at least one item he had in mind previously that we never got around to doing. Hopefully this summer he’ll be able to tackle that challenge.

And along those lines, I feel it is my responsibility to give full disclosure here: I have recently learned of another ‘list’ Matthew is developing. He is now developing a list of items he wants to do or accomplish (a bucket list of sorts – only challenges he wants to face sooner rather than later). I don’t know what will end up on the list, but the last time we saw him we heard items such as skydiving and bungee jumping were being thrown around. Like I said: full disclosure. I just want you to know that sometimes kids become very confident as a result of their successful accomplishments. And while that IS the goal and we DO want them to feel confident, this confidence can create challenges within OURSELVES because perhaps WE’RE not ready for them to take that next challenge. Ah, the joys of parenthood! Letting go. It's been on my list for quite a few summers. I still find that one challenging.

It's All My Fault

2010-04-23T21:40:00.006-04:00

As parents we blame our kids for so many things….You forgot to take in your homework. You didn’t make your bed. You left wet towels on the bathroom floor. You left the door unlocked….and the list goes on. But sometimes, sometimes, the blame is all ours, and we have to take responsibility for what has happened – no matter how embarrassing the situation.

Even though our precious bundle is all grown up, it happened again last week. A situation arose and it was my fault. Well, mostly my fault. Ken helped, but I take the blame, or at the very least the responsibility.

It all started when Matthew asked us to stop by to see him at college on our way back from our trip. We had gone to Tennessee for a few days last week and came back through Cincinnati - fortunately just a hop, skip and a jump from Oxford and Miami University. So we stopped by to see Matthew and had quite an experience.

It seemed our offspring had an ulterior motive for our visit (which, in all honesty, he mentioned when he asked us to stop by). Not that he doesn’t love us and all, but gee, it would be great, he informed us, if we could take some “things” back home, since he was so close to the end of the year. And that certainly made perfect sense to us. With only 11 actual school days remaining (yes, he had them counted), we all knew time of his illustrious freshman year was short and he was streamlining tasks, preparing for finals and the end of the school year. Since that also meant moving home, anything that we could take back with us meant that much less he’d need to bring home himself in less than three weeks. It did make sense, and of course we were happy to oblige.

So, we expected to see lots of hoodies and winter coats, boots and the like. And we did. Way too many, as one might expect for a first-year college student. However, nothing prepared us for what else we saw. Drawer after drawer, bin after bin, and container after container were pulled out of his dresser, closet, and from under his bed (I had happily supplied him with lots of organizing containers). In them were items that looked familiar but which had clearly never been used. There were items that we had bought for him, thinking he would use, hoping he would find helpful. These items - which had been intended for good - had been stockpiled, unopened and untouched. Had Y2K been real and happened a decade later, in 2010 - Matthew was ready!

Matthew in his kind and gracious way had thanked us for our generosity as we prepared to send him off to college all those months ago. We bought things for him and insisted he take them “because he might find them useful” or “he’d be so glad he had them,” but clearly he had never needed. In our zest to prepare our first and only child to adequately face the collegiate challenges before him, we must have tried to send any and every possible thing the child could use throughout the year with him. Of course, HE didn’t know what he needed. Clearly, we didn’t either. What I learned on Sunday was that I apparently didn’t need to send extra supplies with every care package. I know this now because I saw enough school supplies and personal hygiene products accumulated in those containers for his entire 3rd floor. You think I’m kidding. (Next year I’ll know when I ask him on those telephone calls and emails if he needs anything and he says, “No, I’m good,” he means it!)

Then there were the other items. There was, for example, what I called the ‘boot butler’ which is a big plastic, cookie sheet-looking thing for putting wet, snowy boots on when you come in out of the cold. Well, it DOES snow in Oxford. It’s Ohio, you know. Apparently it doesn’t snow enough to need a boot butler, tho’. So, it was resting comfortably UNDER the containers holding the OTHER items he didn’t use. For example, there was the ‘flu kit I put together for him, complete with thermometer, masks and chicken noodle soup, among other things. You remember the swine ‘flu scare this past winter, right? Well, a mother can’t be too careful when it comes to caring for her child, you know. So that package was on its way to said university (no doubt along with some post-it notes, mechanical pencils, deodorant and toothpaste, based on the overabundance of those items we saw in the bins, too).

And there were more things. LOTS more things. Way too many to mention. Can’t you see I’m embarrassed enough? And I take the blame. I do. I meant well. And in my defense, all of these items are good. They are just not all necessary – certainly not in the confines of a 11’ x 14’ dorm room for two. Next year he'll know what he needs. He can decide what to take. It might only require one vehicle to get him moved in!

I think back to a year ago at this time, when we were getting supplies together for college. I inquired on Facebook if anyone had a good checklist for college. I was told by a friend, “No such animal exists.” I took that as a personal challenge to create one. A really good one. And I have to say, I’ve developed a pretty conclusive list. It might even be enough to set up housekeeping for a family of four.

Just so you know, it’s not always the kid’s fault. They can’t help who their parents are. Poor things.

Under the Umbrella

2010-04-08T22:04:00.017-04:00

It was my privilege to introduce two dear friends to each other last summer. On the left is Joyce, one of my college freshmen roommates from Bowling Green (whom I met in 1979). On the right is Linda, a close friend I've met since living in Orrville.

As I put the finishing touches on our upstairs office reorganization, I can’t help but look outside longingly. The sun shines beautifully, even though I know it’s much cooler outside now than it was last week at this time. I want to go outside and sit to soak up some sun and forget the long Ohio winter. I look over the back yard, lovingly cut in perfect lines by my husband (who hopes to soon relinquish the handles of the lawnmower to our son returning home from college for the summer!).

My eyes move to the trees where little buds are happy to be sharing space. Jeffrey Bob (the tree, for any new readers) finally has some company! Then I see the patio umbrella. The sad umbrella is the lone, unhappy creature in the backyard, it seems. Instead of being wound up, stretched out and opened to reflect the sun, the umbrella is unused, unopened, unfulfilled.

As sad as it is for a moment, it’s only a moment. Because it is at that time that I can’t help but smile as I remember fun times when the umbrella was used last summer. I remember family nights and grilling out and dinner on the patio and dessert nights and great conversations. I remember talking with our son about the new life that was before him. I remember his excitement and sense of adventure. I remember the hesitation and concern I felt. I remember the pride I felt, too. And I remember the excitement for him as I thought about my own college days.

And then I remembered visiting with my own college friends under that very same umbrella last summer. Some of the college friends I met 30 years ago were here last summer to share laughs and memories and new friends with us as we grilled pizzas and made new memories. Priceless memories.

I look forward to sharing new memories with family and friends this year in our backyard and under that patio umbrella. Hopefully we’ll enjoy the same friends and family and hopefully we’ll add some new ones. There’s always room for more! Are you free to join us?

If Memory Serves Me Right...

2010-03-26T12:12:00.015-04:00

(This is a stock photo but it reminds me of Laddie, my first dog.)

What is your very first memory? Have you ever thought about it?

I have several early memories and I don’t know for sure which event was first, but I believe the first one happened when we were living with (or visiting) my maternal grandparents when they lived in LaGrange, Illinois. I think I was about four years old.

I had a twin-sized bed and slept in my parents’ room. One morning my dad came in early and awakened me with a surprise. He had a dog with him and he told me it was for me! It was a fully grown sable and white collie (like Lassie). His name was Laddie. A colleague had given him to my dad. Apparently Laddie wasn’t working out at their house and he wanted rid of him. I don’t remember anything else about Laddie in Illinois, but I do remember having him in Virginia, where we lived later.

Laddie was the first of several collies in our family. After Ken and I were married, we also had collies when we lived out in the country. They are such sweet, loving dogs and they have wonderful temperments.

What is your first memory? Do you have any idea how old you were? Some people think they remember events from their toddler years. I think that's amazing! My memories don’t seem to go back that far. In fact, these days my memory seems to have enough trouble recalling where I put my purse and my car keys!

Acting Like Kids Again

2010-03-24T14:45:00.019-04:00

I wanted to share these photo booth shots with you as a testament to a fun and silly afternoon Ken and I had one day recently. I hung this on our fridge as a reminder of just how proud I am of the two of us. Because you see, he and I have come a long way in the last year or so. Let me explain.

It took us a while, but I think we've almost gotten the hang of it. This college thing - ya know - it isn't half bad! When Matthew was still in high school and we were lamenting his nearing departure, we had friends with older kids who'd already left home tell us, "Oh, you'll see, you'll get used to it before you know it. You'll adjust. In fact, you'll love it!"

We will? Ken and I will love Matthew, our only child, being gone? This child, who has been the center of our universe for nearly two decades? People, come on! What are you saying? It couldn't be. We're different, we knew we were. They just didn't know us.

Then, way too soon, the time came for all the good little boys and girls (and the others, too), to leave for college. It was difficult emotionally, just as we knew it would be. (Get used to it indeed! When our kid is a grandfather, maybe!) Days turned into weeks which turned into long months and I missed our little shaver terribly. Still do.

But you know what? Something happened during those days and weeks and months. I didn't see it coming, but it happened nonetheless. The frequency of the calls home decreased (that, I noticed). But during those many days when we waited and didn't get a call or an email from the boy, we got a little bit used to it, then a little bit more. We knew he was ok. (I mean, we could call, text, IM and Skype, for goodness' sake.) And yeah, well, we knew we'd talk to him in a day or two. But the stretches became longer and longer and he was calling the shots. Little varmint! It was like he was weaning us! Like WE were the ones in kindergarten! And you know what? I am proud to say, we became a little bit more independent! His dad and I did ok, if I do say so myself!

That's right. And you know what else? I have to tell you because I am so proud of us. Ken and I have learned that we can do so many things on our own. It's true. We are able to function just as we did b.a.c. (before a child). And not only that, but, we do things when we want. We eat when we want, we go to bed when we want, we get up when we want. Heck, we even nap when we want! We go out when we want, we even eat cereal for supper if we want!

Now, the funny part of all of this is that guess what time it is? Yep, just about time for summer break. Just when everyone learns all the rules, it's time for a whole new game.

A Charmed Life

2010-03-22T10:28:00.024-04:00

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalms 37: 4

The year was 1983 and I had just graduated from Bowling Green State University. My fiance, Ken, was a senior at Virginia Tech, majoring in Chemical Engineering. I applied there to graduate school and lived in the same apartment complex as he during that year, just a short walk away.

It was an interesting year. I was taking graduate classes and taught college freshman English. Ken was finishing the last of his courses, interviewing at every opportunity. Professional jobs were hard to secure and he was determined to find a good job. We were planning a wedding and going full speed ahead, even though we weren't sure what kind of job he would have after he graduated. (Yet somehow we planned our wedding for the Saturday after the Saturday he graduated. In retrospect, that probably was not the brightest idea!) Because of VT’s outstanding reputation as an engineering school, lots of employers interviewed there, but LOTS of graduates were looking for jobs. Ken spent countless nights waiting in line all night to take any "open" interview spots in addition to any other interviews he was able to secure.

It was a stressful time. I'm sure it was more stressful for Ken than it was for me. We prayed he would be offered a job as our wedding date loomed. We were hopeful. We were optimistic. We were young. We were naïve. But, we were also believers. We prayed and we believed God would take care of us. Most importantly, we prayed that He would show us what His will was for us.

Ken’s chemical engineering friends weren't quite sure what to make of our approach to this huge mountain in front of us. They were a fun-loving group, yet they were also realistic, non-believer types who thought we were probably a little too optimistic. They watched us closely because we were the only ones in this study group he'd met with for years planning a wedding in such uncertain economic circumstances. We continued to pray and believe.

And then it happened. Ken was offered not one, but two awesome job opportunities: one in South Carolina with Milliken, a textile manufacturer (which he ultimately accepted); and a second, with a fairly new (to-me) company called Intel, some computer chip company out west (some computer chip company indeed!).

And then we were tagged as having a “charmed life.” So when Ken and I saw this sign (shown above) a few years ago, we bought it. It says "and they lived happily ever after..." It hangs in our kitchen to remind us of that time in our lives so many years ago and how far we’ve come – not because we are charmed – but because of God’s grace and His love and provision for us.

I bet you’re wondering if we regret going south and not taking the job at Intel? We actually came very close to moving west. Ken felt it was an amazing opportunity - and it was. But when we prayed about it, we felt God leading us south. We’ve never looked back and never regretted it. In fact, we’ve never regretted any of our 13 moves, but we sure are grateful for the last 13 years here in Orrville! It has been such a charmed life. The Lord has truly given me the desires of my heart.

Enjoying the Sunshine with JB

2010-03-19T15:00:00.011-04:00

It has been so, so beautiful in northeast Ohio the past few days. My husband, Ken, got out the patio furniture because he knows I’ve been wanting to go sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. Then he emailed me and told me to do just that. Be sure to get outside and soak up some sun, he advised. That’s an easy request to fulfill.

So yesterday and today I went out and sat with Jeffrey Bob for a while. You remember JB, right (from a posting last fall)? He doesn’t have all his hair, er, um, leaves yet, but he will. Just give him a few weeks. He will.

The best part about Jeffrey Bob? He’s like Ken - he doesn’t care that the office is still in total disarray! Just like Ken, that tree never complains. If you read my last post you know that I’m working on reorganizing our home office. Well let me tell you, I got into more than I bargained for with this one! We need more people like Ken and trees like JB in our lives, that’s all I’m saying. Then, if we weren’t so hard on ourselves, we’d really be ok.

Wherever you are I hope you're enjoying some sunshine and that you have people/and or others in your life to help make your journey more enjoyable along the way.

Well, I have procrastinated long enough. It’s time to go back to those filing cabinets. See ya later, JB.

Spring and My Thoughts Turn to....Organization?

2010-03-17T08:02:00.006-04:00

I’m on a huge organization kick. I mean a really big one. Oh, I always like things picked up. Every day, I go through the house in the morning, pick up, wipe down, straighten up, you know, make sure everything is in place. But something happens to me during this time of year. It’s like I get an urge to clean out, purge the unnecessary and organize what’s left. It kind of reminds me of the feeling of an expectant mom getting that nesting instinct. But for goodness’ sake, I'm glad it's not the nesting instinct I'm experiencing! I’m way too old for that! I’ll take the spring cleaning instinct!

I was not always like this. Oh no, not at all. I used to be quite a messy kid. I’d shove anything I could under my bed. It was hard to tell what my mother would find under there. I was especially fond of craft projects and some of the overflow made it under there.

A joke in my family was how I used to like to glue pasta, like uncooked spaghetti and macaroni on paper plates and make “art.” I guess I was creative even then. I used a lot of Elmer’s Glue. My mom swore there were years when I was personally responsible for keeping Elmer’s in business. Guess my fondness for business started early, too. Who knew?

Thankfully, I am a bit more organized now. Still, our home office needs attention, so that’s where I’m heading today. I wonder if we have any Elmer’s Glue…

"Dear Abby's Infallible Rice" Recipe

2010-03-12T14:10:00.015-05:00

I get so many comments about the recipes I post on my blog. As I've shared with you, I only post what I know to be easy, tried-and-true winning recipes that are as tasty as they are easy. So today, I thought I'd share one I'm making as a side dish for supper tonight.

As I mentioned previously this week, our son is home this week on spring break. As usual when he’s home, I ask what he wants me to cook for him. One of his favorite meals and one of the ones he's requested this week is Poppy Seed Chicken.

I like to serve Poppy Seed Chicken with hot rice as one of its side dishes. I get lots of requests for the rice, so I thought I’d share it here. The recipe is actually from a little booklet I ordered from a Dear Abby newspaper column years ago as a young bride. The booklet is called “Dear Abby’s Favorite Recipes.” Because my boys love rice, I always double the recipe. (I don't double the onion, however. My boys aren't huge onion fans, so I adjust accordingly.)

ABBY’S INFALLIBLE RICE

1 medium onion, minced
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup long-grain, raw white rice
2 cups chicken broth (hot)
1/2 tsp. salt (my addition)

Saute onion in butter until transparent. Combine onion, rice and hot broth. Bring to a boil on top of range. Cover and place in 350 degree oven for 20 minutes.

And that's it!

Notes:
1. If your rice has too much liquid after 20 minutes, recover tightly and bake a little longer. Check every 3-4 minutes, as it will absorb the liquid quickly.
2. If you are making this as a supper swap dish to share with friends, leave a small amount of liquid in the rice. Cover tightly after you remove from the oven (and when transporting), and the liquid will be absorbed yet the rice won’t become sticky.

I hope you enjoy this recipe! I think it’s the best, most flavorful rice recipe I’ve made.

Spring Break Tennessee Style

2010-03-10T11:20:00.012-05:00

We have a sign above an armoire in our kitchen that says “Come on in & sit a spell.” I love this because it reminds me of my southern upbringing. Those days were a time when family and friends stopped by unannounced - so much so, in fact, that it was common place.

I must admit, that while I love to invite folks to come in and join us in our home, I generally do not like to visit others unannounced. I always like to call before popping in on someone, but this week, we did just that.

Our son was on spring break from college and he, my husband and I went to our place in Tennessee to stay for a few days. While there we decided to visit my Aunt Juanita and Aunt Sue who have homes nearby. I generally let them know when we’re in the area. That way, they know to expect us sometime during a few days’ span. They may not know the exact time we might stop by, but they do know it’s probable. This time, however, I didn’t even tell them we were in the area. So, against my normal manner of doing things, we just dropped in. Although a bit surprised, they greeted us warmly and were as gracious as if they’d expected us for weeks. We enjoyed catching up with them and spending time with them in their beautiful homes. Although we only stayed with them a little while, the “Come on in & sit a spell” was their grace and hospitality in action, as they could not have been more welcoming.

We enjoyed all our time in Tennessee so much. The weather was just gorgeous. Coming from Ohio with snow on the ground, it was a pleasure and a blessing to wear sandals from the time I left to the time I returned. We had temperatures from the low 60s to the low 70s while we were there and Matthew was able to play golf for the first time in about 6 months. I’m not sure who was happier to be on the golf course – Matthew or his parents (and we don’t even play!).

Even more special was the time we spent with our boy. "Come on in & sit a spell" was like our mantra for the week and catching up with him in our home away from home was priceless. We laughed and talked and reminisced and dreamed. We kicked back and relaxed on the wonderful back porch. Getting away from the stresses and hassles of everyday life and going to a place without the usual distractions was a welcome change. I realize that spring breaks of the future will likely be different than the one Ken and I enjoyed with Matthew this year. For that reason, these last few days are even more special and are ones I’ll visit often in my memory.

A Sure Sign of Spring

2010-03-04T19:15:00.009-05:00

(Reid and Ellie, our sweet, across-the-street neighbors! I scanned this photo from a whole calendar of photos they gave us for Christmas.)

I saw it today. It’s a sure sign of spring. While getting clothes out of the dryer, I looked out the window and there they were: Ellie and Reid, those two sweet-faced kids who live across the street from us were out in their driveway playing with their dad! And they weren’t even making a snowman! Ah, what a welcome, sweet sight that was to me today!

Yes, we still have snow on the ground here, but they were walking around, almost like they were trying to get their sea legs, poor things. In the life of a 2 year old and a 5 year old, an Ohio winter is, well, a good portion of their lives! They probably struggle to remember the warm days of their youth!

Well, it has been a long time since it was warm and sunny. Today it was beautiful here. I think it was in the mid-30’s. Yes, I know, it’s not Florida, but we are talking northeastern Ohio here. We'll take it!

As I looked out at the three of them outside, I wasn’t sure who was more excited they were out there – the kids or me! I bet Brian, their dad, was also pretty excited to be out and about. I remember when Matthew was little how nice it was to get him outside where that pent-up energy could be set free!

Just seeing them out there gave me hope. It reminded me that spring is coming, it really is! It made me think of sunny days and flowers and sitting on our huge covered back porch (ok, it’s really a patio slab, where I’ll soon be fussing about the sun being too bright, but a girl can dream, can’t she?!).

But for now, I’ll just look forward to those warm, sunny days. How about you? What signs of spring have you seen?

"The Lord Will Bless You"

2010-02-26T12:47:00.004-05:00

I’ve gotten so much done in the last couple of days. And I am really, really happy about that. I work with small businesses and do marketing from home. Some days I get a lot done, and some days, not as much as I'd like. The last couple of days, though, I’ve taken on some extra projects for a colleague who has some quickly arriving deadlines. She called and said, “Vanessa, HELP!”

I learned she was doing well with her projects until an emergency with a young family friend, the age of her children, needed her – and in a very desperate way. My friend, always ready to help someone in need, made herself available at her own risk, believing she would find help in some way. So, she called me, hoping I had some time to pitch in to get the projects completed. I was delighted to help.

As I met with her this past week and listened to the story she shared, I was moved by her compassion and love for this young person in need. In the midst of all of her own work deadlines and her own family concerns, clearly the needs of this young woman were on her mind.

As we finished our meeting and I started to leave, I remembered my mother telling others so many times, “The Lord will bless you.” Whenever someone shared with my mom and was bewildered about what task they had been called upon to do for someone or why they had been asked to help in some way, my mom would always smile and say, “The Lord will bless you.”

That simple phrase still speaks so much to me. It means that we are called to help sometimes; there are no coincidences, only connections. God intends for us to be there, to help each other when we’re needed.

So, I told my friend how my mom used to share that simple phrase. She smiled good-naturedly and probably hoped that she would feel blessed. At the time she was still feeling pretty stressed. I know I have already been blessed by helping my friend. I have already gotten done more than I would have otherwise, and I have in the process taken a little pressure off someone who needs to be present for someone else. Yes, the Lord has truly blessed me!

Some Thoughts About My Mother-in-law

2010-02-20T19:32:00.020-05:00

This is a photo of Bob & Jane Brower, Ken's parents. We're not exactly sure when it was taken, but think it was about 1995....

A Facebook friend posted a comment Friday afternoon about a Dr. Phil show focusing on ‘in-law’ issues (in particular those involving mothers-in-law). Since I'm not a usual Dr. Phil watcher, I was watching the 5:00 edition of our local news. I’d already heard all I wanted to hear about Tiger Woods’ apology on the noon news that day, however, so I was all too happy to turn the channel to see the program Trish was referencing.

So, I changed the channel and got an eyeful! My goodness! A daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law were verbally lashing out at each other with their husband/son smack in the middle of the feud! After watching it for a few minutes, I wasn’t sure who I pitied most: the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, or son, as they all seemed to have major issues to resolve.

I can tell you how grateful it made me, though, for my in-laws. I am so blessed and I know it. Kenny’s mom, my mother-in-law, is Jane, and she is wonderful! I love my mother-in-law. When grandchildren came along, she became known as "Nana," and that is what I always call her. I don’t talk with Nana often, but I know if I need her, all I need to do is call her. Through the years she has been supportive and loving and treated me from the beginning like one of her own children. With her I genuinely feel loved and cared for.

For my wedding shower my mother-in-law gave me a beautifully framed piece of art. It’s an artist’s rendering of a lovely young woman, dressed in yellow. It appears to be a southern belle and the following verse is written underneath: “…the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” I Peter 3:4

As much as I would like to think my mother-in-law saw me this way, I certainly never saw myself as such, so I could hardly think she would. (It must have been wishful thinking on her part!). I can tell you, though, that it is how I see my my mother-in-law. It's true; I am one of the lucky ones. You will never hear me telling negative stories about my mother-in-law, about how she interferes or tells us how to run our lives, because she doesn’t, and she never has; it’s just not her style.

I love many attributes of my mother-in-law. Here are just a few of them:

1. Jane loves the Lord and is a true example of someone who is Christ-like. She is an inspiration and a wonderful model of what it means to live as a Christian today.

2. She has shown me a mother’s love. I have known the love of two mothers and for that I am so grateful.

3. She is full of grace. In how she handles herself, greets people, speaks on the phone and just about every way I can imagine, Jane is truly a graceful person. She is never pushy, overbearing or burdensome in any way.

4. She allows her children to be who they are. This is one of the attributes I most admire about Jane. With 5 kids, she has learned well that each child has his or her strengths, differences, likes and dislikes. More than any parent I have ever seen, she never fosters jealousy or pits one child against another in any capacity. She truly accepts each child for the unique person God created. What a gift she is to her children!

5. Children flock to her. I believe kids see “the gentle and quiet spirit” I mentioned before. She draws them like a magnet!

6. She is reassuring. When Matthew was a baby and we had “baby questions,” Jane was often my first source for answers. She was a wealth of information.

7. She never interferes. If we want to go to her, she makes herself available, but she never inserts herself into our business or affairs.

8. She, along with my father-in-law, Bob, raised my wonderful husband. I am so grateful for Jane’s influence on him and for the example she set for him. He is the most amazing person, a true gift from God. I credit his mother so very much for helping make him the man he is today.

Yes, I am blessed, and I know it! I love you, Nana!
~Vanessa

I've Been Thinking of You....

2010-02-18T15:27:00.015-05:00

I have been delinquent in writing a thank you note to someone, and the thought of it remaining unwritten hangs above my head like the caption of a cartoon.

Do you put off such tasks? Clearly we know the importance of thank you notes. A thank you note sent to a gift giver allows her to know her gift was received and appreciated. Of course, it is equally important to send thank you notes to others to tell them how much we appreciate them for some service or gift in kind they have provided.

Just as importantly, I find are ‘Thinking of you’ notes. Aren’t those wonderful to receive? E-mail is terrific and Facebook has been a real joy, but nothing and I mean NOTHING takes the place of a handwritten, snail-mail note from someone I love and who loves me. And when I say a 'Thinking of you’ note, I don’t care if the message is relayed on fine stationery, a Hallmark card or notebook paper ripped out of an old notebook! I just love to know that someone thought of me!

So, I have decided that I am going to begin a writing campaign to tell many of those I love how much I think about them by sending them a note (to inform them of this!) by snail mail.

Whom do you need to write today?

• Is there a college student who would love to hear from you?

• How about a service member, far away from home who would take comfort in knowing that he or she is thought of daily?

• How about a friend or neighbor from some place where you once lived?

• Is there an older friend you haven’t seen in a while or someone missing from the pew in front of you in church on Sunday?

• Do you have a favorite aunt or uncle you remember fondly but rarely contact?

• Maybe you need to contact a parent or close relative with whom you’ve lost touch? Life is far too short to let trivial issues get in the way. Be the first to write (or better yet, in this case, even call!) and say, “I’m sorry, and I’ve been thinking of you.” You’ll be so glad you did.

Someone, somewhere, would love to hear from you today! So grab your stationery or that old notebook paper and get writing.

To The Love of My Life

2010-02-14T14:39:00.015-05:00

(This photo was taken on our anniversary when our dear friends took us out to celebrate. This year we will celebrate 26 years of marriage...)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13: 4-8
NIV

When I was 6 years old, my mother accepted Christ. She later told me that it was at that time that she began praying for the husband that I would have one day. And God gave me Ken (although he claims it’s the other way around). I have always believed that because of my mother’s faithfulness to Him, God honored her prayers for a loving, devoted, Christian husband for me, her only child.

I have come to realize that Ken was a gift for all of us. God answered my mother’s prayers, I believe, because she was a faithful servant and true believer. And my, did she love Kenny! Before we went out on our first date, she told my dad, “She’ll marry that boy.” My dad could hardly believe what she was saying, especially since we had not even gone out, yet he knew my mother knew things.

My dad, who believed in God at the time, but had not accepted Christ, loved Kenny for different reasons. Daddy was grateful to Kenny for being such an outstanding worker and provider for his family; he knew Ken took great care of me (and later Matthew as well) and that gave my father great comfort. Both my parents came to love him more and more through the years. He was everything they hoped for in a mate for their only daughter and so much more. They felt so lucky and they had every right to feel that way.

I am grateful to Ken because not only has he been a wonderful husband, but he has been an incredible father for our son, our only child. He is a God-fearing man and has been an incredible example as a father, being patient, loving and kind. He is also an affectionate father (although not too much!) and one who has always been available to Matthew – and his friends. He has coached Little League baseball and Team One Basketball and even played in a pick-up league with our son and his friends (along with some of their dads). In fact, he played even after breaking his hand playing and long after his bad knee gave out. That’s what good dads do – they continue to support their kids even when it’s not convenient for them as individuals.

Beyond all of that, I am appreciative of the husband he has always been to me. I once read the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. I understand that because it means setting an example for them. And Ken has certainly done that. He sets a wonderful example for our son and if Matthew hasn’t learned how to treat a lady, it’s not for lack of a wonderful role model. Ken treats me with the utmost respect, ALWAYS opens car doors and places a high value on my opinions and wishes. He never cares how much I spend, what I want to buy, or how many people I want to have in for dinner. He is considerate of my feelings and how I feel physically. He genuinely loves my cooking (or at least he says he does!), yet he asks me every day if I'd like to go out for dinner or have him stop by some place for take out.

He is just as generous with his compliments and his wallet in purchasing gifts for me. He starts asking me weeks before my birthday or Valentine’s Day, Christmas and even Easter, what gifts I would like. What’s not to love about this man? He is truly patient with me and has always been supportive of my goals – whether to stay at home or to pursue something outside of home and family.

Beyond that, Ken has set an example as an incredible leader in a sometimes ‘swim with the sharks’ business world. I remember those who worked for Ken crying (including grown men) when we moved from North Carolina to Ohio, telling me, “There’s nobody like Ken.” Well, they didn’t have to tell me that. I knew a good thing once I’d found him!

Although I know it will sound quite mushy, I write today to wish my husband, Ken, a Happy Valentine’s Day. He truly is the gift of a lifetime and if anyone embodies the spirit of I Corinthians 13: 4-8, this man does.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13: 4-8
NIV

Happy Valentine’s Day, Honey. I love you.

Dealing With Hurts and Disappointments

2010-02-09T08:49:00.013-05:00

How well do you deal with disappointment? Do you take it in stride and face the world with confidence or do you curl up and retreat?

We’ve all been there. We have one disappointment and probably handle it fairly well (depending on what it is). Then we’re hit with a second disappointment and well, it turns out to be a less-than-perfect day. And then someone we love and care about hurts us or lets us down, and well, that’s the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

And that’s the true test of character. How do you deal with that kind of triple-whammy? I’d like to say I embrace the challenges and accept them with grace. Yes, I’d like to say that. But that would not be true. Unfortunately, that’s not been the case as of late, especially.

My dad used to give me fatherly advice about life issues that seemed too big to handle. He would say, “That’s what makes life so enjoyable,” talking about working out problems and dealing with things. He embraced challenges and loved working through issues. I guess I’ve never shared his enthusiasm of dealing with such things. I’d prefer life to go along smoothly. I don’t need the challenges my dad so enjoyed.

My mom, on the other hand, took a different approach to mentoring me. She would say, “If we don’t experience the valleys, we can’t truly appreciate the mountain tops.” And while this adage made a lot more sense to me growing up than appreciating the curves life throws us, I still preferred those mountain tops she referred to. But I suppose most of us do. I’ve been feeling like I’m climbing up that mountain and when I gain a couple of steps I fall back a few more. Know what I mean?

I recently heard someone say that God is more concerned with our character than our comfort. Now that makes perfect sense to me, too. Clearly God has much to teach me and my character needs a lot of improvement. I’m not sure I’m learning the lessons as quickly as I need to. I’ve had several personal hurts and disappointments in the last few weeks and I have to admit that I am not dealing with them as gracefully as I would like.

When I feel this way I remember a line from Steel Magnolias (that someone else probably said first): “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Let’s hope I get stronger and stronger and my character becomes more Christ-like. It appears I have a long way to go.

How do you deal with disappointments and hurts? Do you retreat or take the bull by the horns and accept the challenge with vigor? What is God trying to teach you in this molding process?

Life As A Series of 'Bullet Points'

2010-02-08T11:21:00.008-05:00

If you thought about your life as a series of bullet points, what items would make the cut? I have been thinking about that over the last couple of days as a result of reconnecting with a friend I met my freshman year in college, but had lost touch with in the years afterwards. Once again through Facebook, I have had the opportunity to connect with Brenda, a fun, sweet gal from all those years ago. What a treat!

In order to update Brenda on what’s happened with me in the last three decades (wow, that’s a LONG time!), I had to give the stepping stones of my life a little thought. These are the items that come to mind as I continue to think about putting the last 30 years of my life in print (in bullet form, no less):

• Graduated from college in 1983
• Attended graduate school and got married in 1984
• Moved 12 times with my husband (in the years from 1984-1997) for his work
. Moved here, to Orrville, in 1997
• Had one child, a son, Matthew who's now a college freshman
• Lost both parents
• Held positions in the areas of banking, real estate, customer service, event planning, fundraising, marketing and public relations among others
Etc., etc., etc.

And while all of these are true and are a partial representation of my life in the last 30 years or so, these are NOT the things I would want people to remember about me when I’m gone. I don’t, for example, want my tombstone to say Here lies Vanessa, a former marketing director!!

No, what I want people to remember is that I LOVED others, cared about their needs and welcomed them into our home; that I shared with them, by example, the love of Jesus. In short, the legacy I would like to leave is the kind written about in the song titled Legacy, written and performed ny Nichole Nordeman. I have written about these lyrics before and they continue to inspire me to be the person I would like to be, the characteristics I hope will be remembered about me, long after I've left this world.

Legacy
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

~~Nichole Nordeman

What would be the bullet points of your life? Do they represent what you want remembered about you? If not, there’s still time to make changes, make amends, start anew. Why not start today?

Happy Birthday, Janet!

2010-02-03T03:45:00.018-05:00

From Left: Jace, Dan, Nate and Janet

Today I wish a very Happy Birthday to someone I love and admire: my sister-in-law, Janet.

My husband, Kenny, is one of five kids: he has an older brother, Keith, who lives in Cincinnati; a younger brother, Kevin, who lives in Germany (and is in the Army); a younger sister, Janet, who is celebrating a birthday today, lives in Missouri; and the youngest sibling, Judy, who lives in North Carolina.

Janet, who is a beautiful mother of two, is a stay-at-home mom. She has a degree in accounting (at least I think that’s what her official degree is in….) but chooses to be home with her two boys, Nate and Jace.

Janet’s husband, Dan, travels a lot with work. In fact, they, like us, have moved quite a bit in the years they have been married as a result of Dan’s work. Although she misses Dan terribly when he's away, Janet is no shrinking violet; she's an independent sort, making do while she and the boys are on their own. I know she has been involved in mothers’ groups in the past and has even helped organize some in areas where she’s lived.

Even when the boys were small, Janet never let being alone with them keep her home. She would put those boys in her SUV or on a plane and away they’d go to visit family and friends. That spirit of independence has always impressed me! Janet is small, but she’s mighty! Janet enjoys the fall season and has always loved animals. She also has a passion for living near the water. I know her dream is to live in the southeast again one day, where they can once again enjoy water sports with their boys on a regular basis.

Happy Birthday, Janet! I hope your day is terrific – just like you!!

Love you!

A Visit to Miss Molly's Tea Room

2010-01-29T11:45:00.015-05:00

Left to Right: Wanda, me and Linda

Yesterday I had the pleasure of visiting Miss Molly's Tea Room in Medina with Linda and Wanda, two dear friends. If you haven't been to Miss Molly's, I'd encourage you take the time to go. It's a fun outing for the girls and little girls would love it!

I have even taken my husband, Ken, because the food is delicious! To go along with your tea or other beverage, they offer a nice variety with yummy salads (they have amazing chicken salad!) and finger sandwiches as well as soup and even veggie lasagna and other hot dishes. I've never tried the desserts, because the lunches they serve are so filling! I can only imagine they are delicious, as well.

The dining room at Miss Molly's is larger than these photos would lead you to believe. They also have a nice gift shop where teas, teapots and lots of other fun items are available.

And of course, if you go to Medina, you must go to the Root Candle factory store and showroom. That alone is worth the trip, but stopping for lunch at Miss Molly's with your best friends is just icing on the cake!

Laughter is a Tie That Binds Us

2010-01-27T17:00:00.018-05:00

What we experience with others forever bonds us to them. I suppose that can be both good and bad, but I am especially amazed at how this is true - in a good way - with laughter.

My mother had the most amazing sense of humor. She was known, in fact, not only for her cooking, but also for her love of laughter. There are certain things that happen even now and I am reminded of something she said years and years ago. She’s been gone almost 17 years, but her humor lives on. She always said such funny things and many of those things I found hysterical were private jokes just between the two of us. And of course, my husband knew her and her sense of humor well, too. He often says something that she used to say and I’ll laugh out loud, remembering my mother’s wonderful sense of humor. Those things now bond us together, my husband and me, even though she’s no longer with us.

And some days, like today, aren’t filled with laughter. It’s been a down kind of day and one where I’ve had to find amusement, because I certainly haven’t felt it. Then, I remembered an experience my husband and I shared a few days ago when we were watching the Jets game (unfortunately they lost).

But I digress….

We were watching the game when a Wal-mart commercial came on. It’s a fairly new one, with a clown. Have you seen it? Well, I’m not sure why, but he and I saw that commercial and we laughed so hard that we just couldn't stop! Don't you just love that kind of laughter? Ken kept rewinding the DVR (or PVR or whatever the heck you call it) so that we could watch it over and over. Tears streamed down our faces! Now, it’s not too often that we laugh so hard that we cry, but for some reason both of us found that commercial so funny. It was truly a bonding moment. I will never forget how very funny that was and the moment I shared with my husband.

So, if you need your own reason to laugh today – or at least to smile – here’s my attempt to help. I know my mother would have loved this!

Click on the link below for a good laugh and enjoy! Copy and paste it in your browser if the link does not connect for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39Axx5ZUFEc

Uncanny Ad Placement

2010-01-22T16:54:00.010-05:00

Being a marketing person by profession, you would think I would have taken it in stride. Well, I guess I did. I mean, I did laugh out loud. Still, the placement of the ad was priceless.

You see, I was searching, just for the heck of it, for a new chicken recipe. So, I went to cooks.com, where I often go for inspiration. It's not that I am lacking for cookbooks, since I have dozens – literally, dozens. But I decided to visit cooks.com, just to see if anything ‘spoke’ to me today. I like to surprise Ken with a new recipe every now and then and today seemed like as good a time as any.

So, I was scrolling the site when I noticed an ad pop up, as they so often do. The ad was for CJ Banks (a plus-size store for women). Specifically, the ad said, “CJ Banks Size 14 & More.” And that’s when I laughed heartily. Now that same ad might just as easily have been placed on a news website or any other. But noooooo, the ad for plus-sized clothing was on a recipe website! Great placement, don’t you think?

So yeah, I’m a little fluffy. Well, actually a lot fluffy. And yeah, I have looked at the site for desserts and non-so-low-calorie recipes. So, apparently it was the perfect place for the plus-sized ad. I do a lot of shopping with CJ Banks. I guess they’ve missed me. My, those marketers are smart!

A Visit to the Past

2010-01-20T10:55:00.001-05:00

Recently on Facebook, a lot of friends and acquaintances have been celebrating a ‘throw-back’ period, by posting old photos of themselves. I caught the fever, too, and included these two photos from my college days on my Facebook page. I think I was a junior at BGSU in the first photo and the second one is our engagement photo from 1983. (Not that you can miss it, but notice the big hair and the fact that I still had braces. There are more photos below.) It’s been fun to read the comments people write about all of the photo postings. Sometimes it’s easy to see the resemblance to the person from a photo decades old and sometimes it isn’t.

Looking at these old photos brought to mind the trip my husband, Ken, and I took to Charlotte, NC last fall for a business conference he needed to attend. In many ways being in Charlotte was like visiting the past, since we lived in the area for a couple of years about 23 years ago. We had rented a sweet little house in a small community called Locust. Needless to say, since we were so close, I just had to visit that area and see the little house I had visited so many hundreds of times in my memory since we lived there.

Ken was game, so we left the Charlotte area and headed into the country to the little community where we had lived. I just knew I would remember the exact road we needed to turn on, despite the fact that it was dark when Ken and I arrived and we had not visited the area since we moved to Durham in 1989! Well, it took us a few tries, but we eventually found the road and then the little house where we lived. What a joy it was for me to see that little brick house! The house was nearly new when we moved there in 1987. It was the last rental we had before we bought our first house. So many goals and dreams were born in that little house! We dreamed about our upcoming move to Durham and the house we would buy there. Most importantly, we dreamed about the family we would have once we purchased our own house. Matthew was planned, but still very much a dream in those days. Yet, because of all of these dreams and musings, that little house took on a personality of its own in my memory and one I have 'visited' countless times.

I told Ken that night that I’d love to take a trip, a tour, if you will, of all the places we’ve lived in our 25 years of marriage. That would be 12 locations, counting the one where we currently reside. The states would include Virginia, South Carolina, North Carolina, West Virginia and finally, Ohio! Each one is fresh in my memory, probably because “home” has always been so important to me. So, seeing as though it would take a week to visit all of these locations, I think I’ll just stroll down memory lane instead and flip through the photo albums as I go.

Do you have memories you like to ‘visit’ on a regular basis? Mine generally include time we spent so many years ago as a young married couple, planning our life together. Others are the wonderful memories I have of my parents, and of course, my college days! Sometimes I’d like to go back, if only for a little while. If I could go back, I would first spend time with my mother, just the two of us for an entire day! Wow, that would be awesome! If I had a second wish, I’d go back to when Matthew was little. What a treasure that would be! He was such a sweet baby, and I have loved every stage of his development, but I have to say, it would be his toddler days that I would visit.

Here are photos from those days...

Here my sweet mother and I were photographed at our home in Durham. We were best friends! This photo was taken only about a year before she passed away at age 53. She's been gone almost 17 years and I think of her many, many times every day. I still miss her so much it hurts.

Here I am with my Daddy. He was such a tough guy with a heart of gold! He was truly one of the most generous individuals I've ever known. This photo was taken about 1o years ago. Daddy has been gone almost 5 years. I miss him so much.

Here is our sweet little family in 1993. I treasure this photo!

Matthew and Mommy. He was such a sweet little boy!

If you had the opportunity to visit a time in your past, where would you go first? Second? Why do you think it would be in that order?

A Reminder from a New Friend

2010-01-15T12:30:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I saw several deer in our backyard. This is not especially unusual except that we live within the city limits (of a small town) in a fairly busy subdivision. Our lot isn’t that large, either, yet for some reason deer often pass through our yard to the woods behind our house.

Several of the deer stood there under the pine trees for a few minutes, cautiously looking around, and then eventually disappeared into the woods. What both surprised and delighted me was that one deer stayed for quite a while and laid down in front of an evergreen bush. Several additional deer came through, hung out for a while and then followed the path into the woods the others had taken. Yet, there the lone deer stayed, seemingly quite comfortable. She was chewing on something and looked for all the world like she was a young lady lounging by the swimming pool. I was entertained for over an hour as I worked on dinner and washed and folded laundry.

I decided that she probably needed a place to rest and relax. I marveled at how at ease this gorgeous created seemed, and I was so grateful that she seemed to feel comfortable and at home and wanted to just hang around for a while.

It reminded me of Matthew 11:28:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
-NIV

Do you need rest today? Our heavenly Father is always present, ready to share our burdens and lighten our loads. Seeing the beautiful deer comfortably resting in the backyard reminded me that I need to trust the Lord and find rest in Him. He loves us and cares about every detail of our lives. If we let Him, He will provide comfort and give us the rest we need.

Meet Skinner and Eli

2010-01-12T11:46:00.000-05:00

We often hear, “Pets are people, too!” Are pets part of your family? Do you have a dog, a cat (or two), an iguana or something even more exotic that shares your home? What do you do with your pets when you have company? Do you let the Chihuahua corner and intimidate Uncle Charlie or do you put him in the garage when you have company (the Chihuahua, not Uncle Charlie!)? Does your cat run for cover when the doorbell rings or is she curious about who’s coming to dinner, sidling up to whoever gets in the door first?

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with our furry and other non-human family members when other folks are in the house. I do think we need to be sensitive to visitors and at least keep Rover from jumping on guests to welcome them. Even more importantly, a lot of folks are allergic to animals (especially cats) and can be miserable if Fluffy hangs around their feet (my husband, for example).

We know that pets are truly a huge part of many families and they can be like extra kids. Pets have been a blessing to so many with disabilities. And they can be great company for someone who lives alone. Yes, people love their pets. I respect that. In fact, I wish I were more like that. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs and my family loves animals – when they belong to someone else...and are at a comfortable distance away from said people. Actually, we had collies in the past and loved them. They were outside dogs when we lived on the farm and if I were to live in the country again, I’d definitely want another dog – outside.

Not long after we moved to Orrville, Ken’s parents visited and his dad bought Matthew a bird. Then we heard we needed to buy another bird to keep the first one company. Go figure. We did that and bought toys and oh, I don’t even remember what all we did. What I do remember, is that one day I found them, not many days' hence, feet up, in their cage. We decided birds weren’t our thing.

When Matthew was still very young, we had small fish. The day I found Matthew holding one of the fish and petting it, I decided fish probably wouldn't make it long at our house, either. I was right.

We needed a dog, I decided. So, at different times we tried adorable puppies. We bought a darling Boston terrier that, would truly make coffee nervous. Matthew named her Sparx and honestly, the sweet little thing seemed to leap vertically from a still position. Something with that much energy just perplexes me, I guess. She even had too much energy for Matthew, so with his blessing, we gave her to Ken’s parents.

A couple of years later, we bought a gorgeous yellow Labrador puppy that Matthew named Ginger. I understand how we fell in love with Ginger, but how we thought we could manage a fully-grown, huge, yellow Lab in our house is beyond me. We never found out. While still a puppy, Ginger made it at our house until she started chewing on the door frames. And then it was decided: Ginger could not stay. So, once again we found another carefully chosen home for our extra offspring.

During that time, we realized that Matthew wasn’t a pet person, either. As Ken and I watched Matthew play with both dogs, we saw that although he enjoyed them, he literally held them at arm’s length. Apparently his preference to enjoy other peoples' pets was inherited. And like us, he enjoys them most outside.

So, just like it took me decades to admit to myself I am not a morning person, it has taken me almost as long to realize that I am not a pet person. There, I said it. I'm not a pet person. I’m sad about that, but Ken and I have learned that the four legged furry critters just aren’t for us - at least not inside. And now, we know Matthew is the same way. If the girl who captures his heart is a pet-lover, she’ll need to start early to recondition his avoidance tendencies....

We did have a great experience with a couple of ant farms. With the exception of waiting months - literally - for the ants to be delivered in the arctic areas of northeast Ohio, the experience was a very positive one. But then, they were contained in the plastic tubing, come to think of it.

So, we were a little surprised when Matthew saw a small aquarium with frogs a couple of months ago and indicated he thought it would be fun addition for his college dorm room. So, Ken and I ventured back to Brookstone to purchase a ‘Frog-o-sphere’ from 'Santa'. We fed the little dudes and watched them frolic and play (well, as much as aquatic frogs frolic). Matthew was thrilled with his little charges and enjoyed them while he was home for break.

And then it was time for him - for all of them - Matthew and his frogs - to return to college. Well, no one was more surprised than yours truly that I’d be sad to see the little fellers go. But alas, Skinner and Eli, as Matthew named them, did leave to return to college with him. I do miss the little things. But I still don’t want to pet them.

For Those New to My Blog.......

2010-01-10T23:54:00.001-05:00

...and to all those who have expressed interest in reading older postings on this blog, please read on.

I began writing this blog in July, 2008. To view older postings, please do one of the following:

1. Click on the titles of each posting (to the left, under "Blog Archive.";

2. Scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the "Subsribe to: Posts (Atom)" button. There is actually no subscription; it simply gives you a blog listing (by date) of the first 25 or so postings;

OR
To Read All Blog Listings:

3. Click on "Older Posts." This option will give you several postings, but you will need to continue to click on "Older Posts" to go back to the original postings in July, 2008.

Also, be sure to go directly to the blog address instead to previous postings. The address is:

http://aheartforhospitality.blogspot.com

(Please note there is NO 'www' in the blog address.)

I hope this helps those of you having difficulty finding older posts. If you have additional questions regarding the blog or wish to share comments or thoughts, please post comments on the blog or email me at brower@zoominternet.net.

Thanks for your continued support!

~Vanessa

I'm a Verbal Person

2010-01-03T11:57:00.001-05:00

I’m verbal. It’s true. Although I loved science throughout school (and even got an award or two, I am proud to say), when it comes to math – don’t even go there! I admit that Matthew lost me right around the 4th grade mark. In fact, I was useless to the poor kid in that subject. My idea of math is multiplying ingredients to double or triple a recipe. It’s true. (I was so happy for the “D” I got in Calculus in college. If I could have taken it ‘Pass/Fall’, it would have been an even bigger gift.)

It’s because of this that I am soooooooooo grateful that Matthew got his math skills from his engineer-father. Yes, Ken used a write-on white board to supplement the teachings for many of our kids doing homework in the Matt-cave during junior high and high school. We have always been very proud of our strong OHS math department, but hey, hearing an explanation from a second ‘teacher’ doesn’t hurt, right? Ken still knows the stuff like he teaches it and he has never taught - well, not officially, anyway. And he graduated from Virginia Tech decades ago. How does he do it?? Don't know, don't care how, just glad he does!

So…I was delighted to receive this shirt (that I picked out) as a Christmas present this year. Yes, I am verbal and proud of it. ‘Nuff said.

Aunt Carmen's Amazing Orange Cookies

2010-01-02T11:24:00.000-05:00

I have gotten LOTS of requests for the recipe for Orange Cookies I make every Christmas. This is a delightful, surprisingly fresh cookie. It's terrific anytime of year, although it does make a great addition to an Easter meal as well as the Christmas cookie tray.

I originally got this recipe from my Aunt Carmen who lived in Cincinnati for many years. These popular cookies are a favorite of my in-laws, Bob and Jane Brower, who now live in North Carolina. I also make some every year to deliver to our sweet, older neighbors down the street. And then, our ‘across the street’ neighbor, Janeen, requested the recipe among others, so I told them I’d just post it on my blog.

Orange Cookies

2/3 cup oleo, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup orange juice
1 box small box vanilla INSTANT pudding
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 large orange rind grated (save half for frosting)

1. Mix softened oleo, sugar, egg, vanilla and orange juice.
2. Sift together: instant pudding mix, flour, salt, baking powder and soda.
3. Add mixture to butter and sugar mixture.
4. Add orange rind.
5. Bake about 8-10 minutes at 375 degrees or until lightly browned.
6. Frost cookies while warm.

Frosting for Orange Cookies

2 Tbls. oleo
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 Tbls. orange juice
2 Tbls. orange rind grated

To make frosting:
1. Soften butter or margarine.
2. Add other ingredients and blend well.

Cooking Tip: This recipe only makes 2-3 dozen yummy cookies! Since they are so well-loved around the Brower house, I generally double the recipe. (This past Christmas, I quadrupled the recipe!)

Also: You know I love to keep cookie dough in the freezer, ready to make cookies for guests or to give away as gifts. This is another one of those batters that freezes beautifully - and so does the frosting! Just wrap well and freeze separately. Very easy!

Note about my Aunt Carmen: Carmen has always been known for her love of cooking and baking. She was an incredible cook! Unfortunately, she is now suffering from the advanced stages of Alzheimer's and is no longer able to enjoy time in the kitchen in the same way. I treasure all of my Aunt Carmen's recipes (many of which have come to me via my Aunt Brenda, my mom's sister.) Thank you, Aunt Carmen, for sharing your wonderful recipes all those years! I love you.

Look for Cody!!

2010-01-01T11:21:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year friends! I wish you a year full of blessings on this first day of January, 2010 and every day as we go forward this year!

When you think of January 1st, do you think of the Tournament of Roses Parade and the Rose Bowl? Well, I’ve never been much of a parade person (with, of course, the exception of Orrville’s 4th of July parade – which is an annual event we cherish in these parts!).

No, I’m not much of a parade person, except when it involves one of my kids. And today, it does! Cody Smucker, a drummer in the Ohio State University Marching Band is in Pasadena this week, marching with the band even as I type, and then, of course, performing at the Rose Bowl, when OSU plays Oregon!

Cody and his brother, Grant, are both drummers in the OSU Marching Band, so look for these terrific kids when you watch the parade and the game! That’s what we are doing on this 1st day of January, 2010!! (Cody is in the top photo and he and Grant are pictured in the second photo.) They are the kids of Eric and Patty Smucker, a very sweet couple who are friends of ours.

You'll recognize Cody this this photo of "our boys" you have seen before. From the left: Jacob, Cody, Matthew and Trent.

Go Bucks! We’re so proud of you, Cody!

p.s. Thank you, Getz Family, for permission to use your photos!

Readers: Sorry, but I was unable to upload the photos of Cody and Grant larger, despite many attempts. Maybe it is because these two were saved from Facebook? I'm not sure....

More Photos from the Black & White Party (by popular demand!)

2009-12-30T21:56:00.000-05:00

Attached are some additional photos from the Black & White Party that Sarah and Stephany hosted last week at Sarah's house. (Thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Tibbitts!)

You may view a larger image by clicking on the photo of your choice.

LEFT: Julie and Natalie
RIGHT: Molly and Julie (Matthew's junior and senior Prom dates)
ABOVE: Matthew and Stephany

LEFT: Molly, Kelli and Jami with Stephany in background
RIGHT: Guys on the dance floor (aka Sarah's basement) doing their DJ thing
ABOVE: Marissa and Julie

LEFT: Julie and Matthew
RIGHT: Stephany and Molly

Once again, thank you Marissa, Emily, Stephany and Sarah for use of your fun photos!

Hope you enjoy these photos and get ideas for your own Black & White Party....

The Infamous 'Black & White' Party

2009-12-28T21:53:00.001-05:00

The beautiful girls you see on the left are Sarah and Stephany, two of my favorite people in the world (yes, I know, I do have lots of favorites!). These two gorgeous girls planned a “Black & White Party” for their extended group of friends. It was held at Sarah’s house recently and it sounds like everyone had a blast! The photos sure support that thought!

More photos...

Here are Sarah, Emily and Julie. Aren't they beautiful??

I snapped a quick photo of Matthew before he left for the party.

Photo above: Here, the group is apparently taking a break from dancing! In the back are Stephany, Trent and Emily. Seated, Matthew and Nick.

Close photo above: Matthew with Stephany and Emily. Four of them often take "family" pictures like these, but someone is MISSING: Maria!! Where were you when this photo was taken?

Below is Trent, stylin' and profilin'!

I suppose it’s obvious, but for a “Black & White Party” the guests must wear – you guessed it – black and white. The decorations and food were also in that color scheme. I wanted to share these ideas with you in case you think it might be something YOU’D like to host sometime!!

So, in Sarah's words.....

"We loved doing the Italian dinner party last year." (On a sidenote, see my blog posting from 8/31/09 for photos from the Italian dinner party, which they hosted at our house.) "Stephany is a huge part of getting the whole thing to work. This summer we talked about organizing something for everyone when we were home from college over Christmas. Steph was the one who suggested black and white. We started talking about foods and decided dessert was the best way to go. We assigned each of the girls a black and white dessert (brownies, marshmallow pies, oreo pudding dessert, chocolate cream pie). Later we decided to add black and white tortillas and sunflower seeds just for something salty."

"The decorations included leftover wall paper from my room (which is black and white polka dots), black and white streamers, and the centerpiece was left over from my graduation party!"

"Steph really wanted to keep it 'classy'. We just wanted a nice way to get together and enjoy each others' company. Plus, we like to dress up!'

Well said, Sarah! It certainly looked classy, Stephany! I think all of you gals did a fabulous job!

I hope you enjoy the pictures of this group of friends. I am sharing them courtesy of Marissa, Emily, Stephany and Sarah. I think this whole gang should be in a Gap ad. Oops! Sorry Emily, I meant to write an American Eagle ad!!

I love you all!!
~Vanessa

Unexpected Guests

2009-12-28T08:39:00.001-05:00

Sarah, Stephany, Jami and Maria surprised me with a cake they made for me.

I am from the South where it is commonplace to invite people to stop by for a visit anytime. It’s how I grew up and I like to think I welcome unexpected guests.

When you have unexpected visitors stop by your house, how do you react? Do you ignore the bell-ringing and door-knocking? Or, do you cautiously look out the peep hole or even open the door just a smidge? As much as I hate to admit it, how I react is directly related to two things:

1. Since whoever is out there is unexpected, am I comfortable answering the door from a safety standpoint? (I have to confess here - I watch lots of crime shows and sometimes feel a little paranoid.) So…..if it’s after dark and I can’t see who it is, I turn the porch light on in their faces. Not really hospitable, I know, but they are unexpected. If I had been expecting the visit, I’d have the outside lights on already!

And…

2. Am I showered and dressed? Do I look (fairly) presentable?

Often we get late, unannounced visitors in the form of Matthew’s friends. Well, that’s always ok! We love and welcome these kids.
Having said that, there have been a number of times when they have come for a visit – especially the girls – when I look like death warmed over. I remember last Christmas break when four of them surprised me by making me a cake. I was thrilled to see my beautiful girls. I had been sick all day and felt like a dog, but I tried to hide all of that and enjoy the gift of their company - and their chocolate cake! (I’m sure the pajamas and lack of make-up gave nothing away.)

Then, there was the time that an exchange student visited. Come to think of it, I think that was last Christmas, too. He was such a nice kid, from Australia, as I recall. He had family in the area, so he wasn’t a “true” exchange student. Anyway, Matthew’s group of friends really enjoyed his company and he hung out with them and spent a good bit of time here during his visit to the States. He was delightful and so polite! Ken and I enjoyed his company very much, too. And then there was the night that a whole gaggle of friends showed up together with him. I had had a terrible cold for days and was really dragging. Still, praying I wasn’t contagious, I made hot fudge cake for the kids and loved hearing their enjoyment and laughter – by-products of this group of friends being together. Ah, the stuff memories are made of…..

So, what is the moral here? Well, I am learning to welcome those who stop by regardless of what I look like or how I feel. Visitors may be aghast at how I greet them at the door, but I do believe what they will remember later – much later! – is how I welcomed them when they arrive - not how I looked when I opened the door. I hope so, anyway.

Preparing for Overnight Guests: A Detailed Checklist to Help You Prepare

2009-12-26T21:15:00.010-05:00

Recently I wrote about how we can have overnight guests and actually ENJOY their visit (IMAGINE THAT!). Although lengthy, I am including Part 2 here. If you truly want to make your guests feel welcome (and special), I hope you’ll take the time to read this. I believe you’ll find some useful ideas here.

As you'll read below, I think it's important to provide good reading light for guests. You can't see it from this photo, but both sides also have clocks. We covered the wood tables with glass from our local glass dealer to protect furniture from drinks and other items. You probably can't see the image in the framed photo, but it is one I cherish taken of myself with 2 of my college roommates.

Our guest room is not very large, so when we purchased furniture for this room, we purposely did not choose a chest of drawers or dresser. Ken and I felt that the drawers in the "bednight" stand and some space in the closet were ample for guest needs.

Note the various reading materials. This last photo shows the bench used for guests' suitcases and a magazine rack filled with various current magazines (the rolled up items you see are brochures of our beloved Orrville!)

It’s true, we can enjoy overnight guests, and I certainly write from experience. We have been blessed with hundreds of overnight visits from family and friends during our 25 years of marriage. At some point (maybe when we downsize), I’d love to have a guest house. I can already envision it and I think it would be wonderful to have for guests to enjoy. Some day maybe that will happen. For now, I am thrilled that we have a dedicated guest room and I try to take full advantage of that space when we have guests.

Sometime early in our marriage I managed to compile a list of items to keep in the guest room. As time has passed and Ken and I have stayed with others and also in many bed and breakfast establishments, I have honed this list even further. Although not conclusive, this list is a great start. And while not every item will make sense to every person, I think you’ll find some useful ideas here. As always, use what works for you and your family and toss the rest.

Ideas for Guest Room

Linens – clean sheets on the bed or pull-out are a must. I love to have freshly washed sheets on the bed when we have overnight guests. If the bed linens are clean but the bed hasn’t been slept in for a while, I rewash the sheets so they are fresh and clean-smelling. Your laundry soap, fabric softener and dryer sheets are important in this process. Linen spray is also a nice addition. A little goes a long way, as you don’t want the fragrance to be overpowering for those with sensitive noses or allergies.

An extra blanket at the foot of the bed or close at hand will be a comfort to those who tend to get chilled easily. Be sure guests know where these items are stored – especially if they are not in the area designated as “their” space.

I'd like to add here, also, that a nice, bright room is always welcoming to guests. At the same time, I like guests to be able to darken the room if they want to nap or sleep in the next morning. (As a sufferer of migraine headaches, I always prefer a room that can be made very dark.) Plus, some guests just sleep better in a dark room. In our Guest Room, guests can opt to leave the blinds open, as our backyard is very private or close the blinds. Additionally, they can 'un-do' the curtains to make the room nice and dark.

A Place for Their Belongings
Space in a closet, if possible, with a few hangers is a sure way to welcome guests. An extra drawer or two is really nice, also – especially for guests who stay longer than a couple of days. As I mentioned before, the readily available over the door hangers are a real plus when space is at a premium.

A stand for suitcases or carrying bags is very nice, too. Many of these fold for easy storage under a bed or in a closet when not in use. In our guest room we use a sturdy wooden bench which I painted to match the furnishings. It gives our guest a place to hold a suitcase or bag so that the contents are more accessible. Having this available also protects other furniture in the room.

Some Important Basics
A clock is also a must, I’ve learned. In the past, I’ve not always remembered to put one in our guest rooms, and inevitably a guest will ask if we have an extra one to use while with us. Friends of mine mentioned that the bed and breakfast where they stayed in Amish Country had clocks on BOTH sides of the bed. They both appreciated the thoughtfulness of the innkeeper. A radio is also a blessing for many. Of course, a clock-radio can kill two birds with one stone. Depending on the guest, sometimes we also put a small CD player in the guest room with a variety of CDs available for use.

A night light is also a must for guests, as it helps someone unfamiliar with the house when they need to be up at night. We have them placed strategically throughout our house so that we can easily maneuver the entire house without turning on overhead lights. A reading light is an addition we light to provide also. Sometimes guests have trouble sleeping in new surroundings and having a light to read by helps them to relax. We always keep a flashlight in the bednight stand, too, just in case… (and yes, you read correctly; I did mean to say “bednight.” When our son, Matthew, was small he instinctively created so many phrases that became part of our family vernacular…we refer to them as “Matthew-isms.” As parents we sometimes referred to a “bedtime” snack or a “night stand,” the small table next to the bed. As a toddler, Matthew combined these and referred to any such thing as a “bednight” whatever – just fill in the blank…!”

Back to overnight guests…. We also have a small bookcase (which I painted to match the sturdy wooden bench) filled with a variety of reading materials. A magazine stand in the room is also supplied with a variety of magazines which I recycle periodically. We keep a Guest Book in our guest room, too, so that people can add messages, if they’d like, and also so that they can read comments of previous guests. It’s fun to look at those entries later and remember our visits with our guests.

Welcome Baskets
I often will put a welcome basket in the guest room, too. In this basket I place fun little items I think the guests would like. For some, it might be a coffee basket, for others snacks or even small trinkets of use.
Some other items to consider:
Paper, pens or pencil
Disposal camera
Ear plugs
Local newspaper, map or other pertinent shopping or event information
Church information and service times

Guest Bathrooms
In the Guest Bathroom (or at least the bathroom being used by guests) should have some basic staples visible and readily available. Some of those items are:
Towels / hand towels / washcloths (I also include bleachable washcloths for make-up removal, for guests, if they choose to use them.)

Soap, shampoo, conditioner and other personal hygiene items are a thoughtful addition to the guest bath. Extra toothbrushes, small tubes of toothpaste, etc. are also a real blessing for the guest who forgot the necessities but may be hesitant to ask for supplies. I always put items in a basket on the bathroom counter in the guest bath and indicate guests are to help themselves. Small samples from hotels, “freebies” in other gifts and items are excellent for this purpose. I also keep other products like mouthwash, lotions, personal sanitary items, etc. available for the same reasons.

If you don’t have small children (or your guests don’t), it’s nice to leave a box of matches in the bathroom to help get rid of unpleasant smells. Many sprays are also available to neutralize odors. I like to keep both on a small tray on the back of the guest toilet. I also have a candle on the tray, should guests wish to use it. (Again, I remove matches when small kids are in the house.)

Some Other Needs
A hair dryer and toilet plunger should also be made available to guests. Of course, all of these items could be included in one linen closet, where a guest is invited to use whatever items within it that he or she needs. An iron and ironing board are also items guest sometimes need to use. At the last Bed and Breakfast we stayed in, the innkeepers kept a lot of these “usual” needs in a hallway bureau. It was convenient there for all guests to use. If you have space, it’s a wonderful convenience to keep items in a central location such as this for your own family as well as guests.

Meal Times
Further, it’s always nice to make guests aware of meal times as well as where quick available snacks are located. Guests will be more comfortable helping themselves if you first point out where snacks and drinks can be found. Sometimes we use a write on white board to list menus and approximate times for meals. It’s just a fun way to communicate these items while letting your guests know you’re looking out for them. This is not to say that we are ‘formal’ about such items. These things seem so obvious it seems silly for me to list them. Yet, I have been a guest many times when such obvious gestures were never extended.

Help! I'm Not a Morning Person, But My Guests Are!
I try to set the coffee pot up the night before for any guests who make it to the kitchen before I do in the mornings. I place cups, spoons, sugars, and a small pitcher for milk on a tray near the coffeepot. Sometimes I’ll include a note for guests to help themselves.

I often also lay out bagels, English muffins and cereal for the light eaters who want to eat as soon as their feet hit the floor in the morning. Lots of times we make big country breakfasts for guests. Usually, though, we don’t do that until about 10 a.m. to give everyone a chance to get up and get moving. Juice, coffee and a bagel, fruit or other snack can help tie them over until we get breakfast made.

Phones, Computers & TVs
Phone usage is not as big an issue as it once was, since nearly everyone has a cell phone these days. However, it’s still very nice to let guests know where phones are located, should they need to place a call.

We've learned that guests often want to check their email or Facebook while visiting. We can accomodate that easily, but not everyone is comfortable with that thought. Remember that you may be able to visit your local library or university campus where your guest can have temporary access.

A television, too, is one of those amenities we take for granted. Although it’s nice to have one in the guest room, watching TV as a ‘family’ can be fun, too. You don’t want your guests to stay in their room ALL THE TIME!

Use of Laudry Facilities
It’s also good to let guests know if they can use your laundry facilities – especially if they are staying a few days or more. If they know where the laundry supplies are kept, they will be more comfortable washing a quick load, if needed.

Prepare for the Kids Who Visit, Too!
Having toys to entertain the younger crowd can be a blessing – to the parents and TO YOU - especially if you are not used to little kids! Just a few toys for various ages will be all you need. You can pick up games, puzzles and past-times at garage sales and just keep a basket in the basement or garage where you can pull it out when needed. (On a side note, the extra alarm clocks, etc. can also be found at great prices at yard sales, clearance bins, etc.)

Over-the-top Hospitality
For truly over-the-top treatment of your guests, there are even more things you can do. For example, you can provide the weather forecast (especially useful for any upcoming outdoor plans). Ken and I have stayed in luxury hotels where the next days’ weather forecast was included with the chocolates on our beautifully turned down beds. Talk about special treatment! Like many upscale hotels, you can also place unisex robes and slippers in the guest room or guest bath. We don’t wear shoes in our home and my husband has often spoken of purchasing some simple unisex slippers for guests to use while at our house. He has often spoken about this after his trip to Japan a few years ago where this is commonplace. We haven’t done that – yet – but I do love the idea!

To really pull out all the stops, you might consider a “Thank you for my quiet time” sign for guests to put on their door to let everyone know they want to sleep in, take a nap or otherwise want to be alone for a little while. A small beverage tray made available to them to take upstairs with them is also a nice touch.

You’ll also want to be sure guests have access to your home in the event you are away. An extra key or the garage door code can be a lifesaver for a busy family when visitors arrive.

And finally, two things I like to do when guests come to visit are probably my favorite. If possible, I like to have a snapshot or photograph framed in the room where guests are to sleep. It truly speaks volumes about how you’ve looked forward to their visit and how you welcome them into your home. I also like to have small gifts, wrapped and at the ready. I might leave them in the room with a note to welcome guests or leave them outside their bedroom door to find in the morning. Fun! I usually shop clearance and sale tables for some fun, timeless gift items for this use.

There are lots of ideas here, and I have used all of them at one time or another. I do not recommed using all of these ideas at once, however! You would probably have guests who questioned your sanity (probably rightfully so), or guests who never wanted to leave! I doubt either of those would be a healthy goal, but if you can take away even one idea to use, it will help your guests to feel comfortable and more welcome in your home. Use the ideas you like and tweak them to fit you, your home and family and your personality. We all have different comfort levels with entertaining and all things surrounding it.

If you have ideas you’d like to share, please leave a comment here or email me at brower@zoominternet.net. I love hearing from you!

Happy Hospitality!
Vanessa

Please be sure to check out Part 1 of Preparing for Overnight Guests posted on this blog on 12/10/09.

http://aheartforhospitality.blogspot.com/2009/12/tips-for-enjoying-overnight-guests.html

Christmas Decorations, 2009

2009-12-17T20:21:00.000-05:00

Today my friend, Carolyn, asked to see pictures of the decorating we had done in our home this Christmas season. Although we did not decorate as much as we have in past years, I promised to share some photos with her.I decorate differently each time and I like to have photos to use (for when I do want to duplicate something), so her request reminded me to get snapping. The photos don't really show everything, although if you click on each photo, you can see more. Anyway, as promised, here are the photos, Carolyn! :D

This is our stairway, where we tend to take lots of photos throughout the year.

Below is the dining room.

These 2 photos are the formal living room. Since we always decorate the week of Thanksgiving, our tree is artificial. Ken really outdid himself with lights on our 10 foot tree this year, and they really are beautiful. I wish you could see it better.

Breakfast room.

This is our family room, where we live most of the time. Again, it's hard to see the lights on the mantle as well as the decorations. We haven't hung the stockings yet, either. In fact, about all I see are the dishelved bookshelves because I've been enjoying my cookbooks a lot recently!

I tried to take some outside photos, but they didn't turn out very well. There are outside lights, but they are hard to see. The lights that are visible are from the tree and stairway at the front of the house. Ken usually puts up spotlights outside as well as other lights, but I think we both ran out of energy this year!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Tips for Enjoying Overnight Guests, Part 1

2009-12-10T21:28:00.012-05:00

I’ve been getting comments about my absence from writing my blog, so I am back at it….thank you for your support of me and my writing!

Today I want to focus on the overnight guests we have in our homes. Through the years we have had LOTS of overnight company – parents, siblings (Ken’s, that is – I’m an only child), cousins, aunts and uncles, neighbors of years past, college roommates and lots of friends. Of course, you know we have kids here a lot overnight. And while we enjoy our kids, they usually crash in the Matt-cave, so some of these things don’t apply to those overnight stays. (Why, oh why, do teenagers want to sleep in the floor and on couches in the Matt-cave when beds are available??)

Anyway...so maybe you’ll soon be having company overnight. Maybe it’s your parents, friends from another town, or relatives who have stopped by for the weekend. Overnight guests are a huge stressor for some people. Are you one of the worriers? I mean, do you worry about the house (is it clean enough? where will they sleep?), about the food (what if I make something they hate? what if I really mess up dinner?), and what to do with them (do we entertain them or let them go out on their own?), etc.

The questions go on and on and everyone has some kind of issues, but here are some typical issues we all deal with when having overnight guests.

1. Where will your guests sleep? Do you have a guest room? If you’re like many, a “guest room” may be the family room with a pull-out sofa or even an office or corner of the basement (as I said before, kids and teenagers are especially fond of this one!). And all of these accomodations are fine. Guests don’t expect the Waldorf, just a clean place where they can have some privacy, get some rest and have space for their things. Basically, a few hangers and some space in the closet are all that’s needed. A couple of drawers for anyone staying more than a night or two is really nice, too. If space is at a premium in your house, use one of those over-the-door hangers to create some extra space. If you put a little thought into it and provide some special touches, even that corner in the basement will feel welcoming.

2. If you are concerned about what you will serve, ask early about any food allergies, dislikes or other food-related concerns. Better to know early – preferably before the guests arrive - that your niece has become a vegan this month.

Above all, plan simple meals. Before you even plan on guests, have some dishes that you are comfortable preparing. I’ve read that everyone should have at least one soup they have mastered for just such occasions. I would agree with that and add some additional simple things to master. Why not find an easy casserole or two and some simple desserts, as well? Try new recipes on family first to get an idea of what to expect. Some casseroles and desserts can even be frozen for a month or two. If cooking while guests are in your house stresses you, make the time to prepare as much as you can before they arrive. If your budget allows, you might even treat guests to a local eatery. Sometimes that’s the easiest and most carefree of all meals.

3. If you know in advance that you have overnight company coming, you can plan ahead with cleaning, also. I have found that breaking down big projects into smaller bite-size pieces that I can work on days or even weeks before help me prepare well for company. I break down a huge, overwhelming list into tasks that I can accomplish in chunks of time over a period of days. Knowing that the house is clean and that I just need to touch-up before people come gives me peace of mind.

4. Regarding those last-minute touch-ups:

I believe a clean kitchen is a must. It’s always where everyone gathers in our home and I like it to sparkle. Aside from the kitchen, a quick sweep and vacuum of the rest of the house, dusting if need be, and a good wipe-down of the bathroom with Clorox wipes and Windex and paper towels is usually all that’s needed before guests arrive (if the house is already clean, deep down.).

I keep baskets on hand for quick pick-up of stray items without a current home. Baskets are also a great way to stash newspapers and magazines with a quick sweep of the family room or play room. Kids’ toys, too, can be corralled easily.

Don’t forget the front door (or whatever entrance your guests will use). It’s easily to overlook this area, but the outside is what’s seen first.

5. Of course, what you do with your guests from an entertainment standpoint will vary depending on the personalities of those staying with you. Some want to see all the sights. Fortunately for those of us in northeastern Ohio, there is a lot to see and do. With only being an hour away from Cleveland, we have professional sports teams, theme parks, theatres, museums, lakes and outlet malls. We also have ‘Amish country’ and the Football Hall of Fame, both of which are only half an hour away. There is no shortage of “stuff” to do here for guests on the move!

Other guests just want to visit and relax. For those guests, you might have games and puzzles available, as well as an easily accessible stash of magazines and books. We keep a variety of both in our guest room. A nice quiet place to read the newspaper is what many seem to enjoy most.

These are some of the simple basics to think through when having overnight guests. Probably very little of this is new to you. It’s stuff you already knew, but I think it’s good to know that others sometimes struggle with these issues, too. It’s nice to be reminded that little things are all that’s needed to make your guests’ visits special and memorable - for them and for us.

And more than anything, enjoy your guests. No matter what you did or did not get accomplished on your "to-do" list, try to let it go and visit with your company. They probably won't remember the little things we all stress about, but they will remember how you made them feel. If you're comfortable, your guests will be, too.

I also have a ‘Guest List’ of items I use for overnight guests that I have created over the years and I find it to be very helpful. I will include that list for you soon, as I think you’ll find my list useful for your next overnight company.

Be sure to check out Part 2, The Detailed List for Overnight Guests published on 12/26/09 on this blog. You should also be able to access it via the link below:

http://aheartforhospitality.blogspot.com/2009/12/preparing-for-overnight-guests-detailed.html

Fun Activities for the Thanksgiving Dinner Table

2009-11-24T14:13:00.001-05:00

Sometimes when my husband, Ken, and I host parties, we have games prepared to make the gathering more enjoyable. In the past some of the most fun events have included Murder Mystery games and The Newlywed Game. We love getting to know our friends better with fun activities like these.

This week I have been researching some fun games for our Thanksgiving dinner table. At www.celebrations.com I have found useful game guidelines as well as terrific game ideas. Here are suggested guidelines from this website:

“As a host or hostess it's your job to organize the game and make sure everyone's involved. Here are a few tips to make sure everyone gets into the game.

HOW TO BE A GOOD SPORT

1. Familiarize yourself with the game. If you're not an expert it will be difficult for you to explain it to guests who've never played before.
2. Make sure that everyone can be involved. Don't choose a four person game if you know that there will be five guests. You never want someone to feel left out.
3. If the game is complicated, print out instructions and distribute them during dinner. That way, once the plates are cleared the fun can begin.
4. Go Potluck. Ask each of your guests to bring along suggestions for a favorite game. That way you won't have to bear the burden of leading.
5. Don't force participation. If a guest wants to sit out a round, go with the flow. The important thing is that everyone enjoy themselves.
6. Get outside. If weather permits, it's always nice to use the outdoors. “

Below is a game from this website we plan to use this Thursday.

GAME 1: MESSAGE UNDER A PLATE
"Steps
• Write or print a different phrase on each of several small pieces of paper. Place one card under each of your dinner guests' plates. Make the phrases usable but strange. Ex: "I am a space cowboy," or "Have you tried ostrich eggs?"
• Before dinner, ask everybody to read the card under their plate-- they're not to read it aloud or share its contents with anybody. Instruct your guests to use their phrase or question as naturally as they can in conversation.
• You can decide to make this a race-- whoever manages to use their phrase last loses. Or it can be a competition between guests. The goal is for each guest to figure out when another guest is using an assigned phrase. If they're able to slip it into conversation naturally without anybody noticing, they win.
• You can also choose to assign guests several phrases-- increase them in difficulty as they go along."

Another website I like is: www.divinedinnerparty.com Here is a game from this website we also plan to use on Thanksgiving:

GAME 2: THE MEMORY GAME

“Summary and Supplies: This is a simple one to play around the dinner table-- but more difficult than it sounds. All you need to play this is a decent memory.
The Game
• One guest is chosen to begin by saying something they "bring to the party" (doesn't have to be true). Example: "I went to a party and brought a bouquet of flowers."
• The next guest must add another item to the previous guest's item. Example: "I went to a party and brought a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of peach schnapps."
• This goes around the table, and each person must list off all the items, then add their own. Players can generally go on for a surprising amount of time.”

We have dear friends coming for dinner and look so forward to our time with them on Thanksgiving! We think these games will enrich our time together and create lots of laughs. We can envision our friends playing this game already!

I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

God bless you-
Vanessa

Ken's Hospitality

2009-11-22T21:25:00.000-05:00

I’ve always said that the hospitality provided at our house is a joint effort. I simply could not do what I love to do so much from a welcoming standpoint, if it weren’t for my husband, Ken. He never cares how often we entertain or how many we invite when we do. Just as importantly, he helps with shopping, cooking, cleaning, entertaining, and so much more. He’s come a long way since our wedding day 25 years ago. He was a shy, quiet young man. And although he still has those tendencies, he’s come a long way, baby!

When Ken surprised me last summer with a weekend stay at a bed and breakfast, we were given special little plates with the event package he purchased. On these plates were the delicious signature cookies from the bed and breakfast. When we brought those little plates home, we started giving each other ‘treats’ using those plates.

When I made cookies for a friend, I saved Ken a few cookies, place them on the plate and covered it with plastic wrap. I then placed it on “his” table in the family room (the end table closest to where he normally sits when we watch TV or read the newspaper). Likewise, Ken uses my plate to serve me treats when he’s dishing up something for me. My favorite is the when he puts bacon on there after he makes it crisp, just as I like it. Then he serves the bacon to me at the table. It makes me feel so special that he makes something just exactly as I like it and then takes the time to make the presentation memorable!

One day last week, we ordered take-out from Barnstone Cafe, which Ken picked up on his way home from work. He surprised me with a piece of the Reese’s pie they make that I LOVE. Later in the evening we usually have a late-night snack (which I really don’t need!). He got our snack that night. He placed the piece of pie on the special plate and even used decorative icing to decorate the plate. When I saw it, I just melted (see the photo - it even has a heart made from the icing!). He was excited for all the ‘brownie points’ he received. His thoughtfulness and his presentation were priceless!

Of course, this is not unusual. I am so lucky because Ken treats me like a queen every day, and I absolutely love the way he takes care of me. He is so sweet and so good to me. I wanted to share the photo I took of the pie, complete with Ken’s beautiful garnish. Now this is what hospitality is all about!

It's Almost Thanksgiving!!

2009-11-13T10:36:00.000-05:00

I am so excited that Thanksgiving week is upon us. In fact, I have recently decided that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Why? Because it’s all the fun of family, without the stress of Christmas. Now, don’t get me wrong: Christmas is near and dear to my heart as the day we celebrate our Savior’s birth. Nothing has more meaning than Christmas, except of course, Easter, the day we celebrate the day He rose again after died for us. Just looking at the days as holidays, though, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

Thanksgiving means warmth to me, pure and simple. It’s a warm kitchen with smells of a turkey roasting in the oven, pumpkin pies cooling on the counter and freshly-baked cookies begging to be enjoyed. It’s a fire in the fireplace and laughter in the house. It’s greeting friends at the door and ushering them inside, out of the cold.

Yes, Thanksgiving is warmth and memories and hopes of a fun day and weekend to come. Here are the parts of those days I most anticipate:

1. Our boy will be home! Matthew will be home from college and able to relax at home for a few days. Ken and I have anticipated these moments for months! Yes, Matthew has been home a couple of times since he began college in August. Yes, we’ve gone to visit him to celebrate Family Weekend and then, his birthday, but this time, he’ll be HOME! And he’ll be home for a few days. We can’t wait!

2. We’ll have lots of friends in for Thanksgiving Day. We’ll have a wonderful meal where we all prepare dishes to share and we’ll relax and enjoy each others’ company. I envision football and board games and video games and comments about eating too much and needing a nap. I can’t wait!

3. Our kids will be home! All our kids will be home from college and they’ll pop in to see Matthew and to see us during the week and we’ll love it! They’ll all head to the Matt-Cave and it will be awesome! Laughter will once again be the language of the day coming from the basement family room. Ken and I will love it! We can’t wait!

4. Our boys will be here. Sometime over Thanksgiving weekend, I just know our boys will be here overnight, playing video games all night! Ken and I will make breakfast for sleepy young men and we’ll get to hear stories about what their lives are like now. We will love it! And...you guessed it: we can't wait!

Yes, Thanksgiving is upon us and we are so excited! We pray that all arrive home safely and that the week unfolds as we envision. We are so blessed and thank God for the many blessings we enjoy.

I am so grateful for you and your support. Happy (early) Thanksgiving, friends! I wish you great planning for your own warm and happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Birthday, Matthew!!

2009-11-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

On this date in 1990 my husband, Ken, and I had the privilege of welcoming our only child into the world, and our lives have been blessed immensely every day since. We have experienced the depths of every emotion from the time that 9 pound 3 ounce bundle bounced into our hearts and lives!

From his sweet baby laugh to the toddler who had a temper tantrum in the checkout lane at a huge grocery store in Durham, North Carolina, while his flustered, shocked mother looked on, Matthew has always been his own person. He has always had the confidence to be his own man – even as a little boy! Style, fashion and even hairstyles meant nothing to Matthew unless they were of his own choosing.

This child, who had such amazing confidence to face the world, has grown into an incredible young man his father and I have always been proud to call our son. With his sincerity and his convictions, he continues to be the one who expresses himself so well that he could sell ice to an Eskimo. Even as a little boy Matthew would come to us to “present” a case of some sort: the reason he should be allowed to do this, or why we should consider that. He was always so thorough and so well-prepared that we usually said “Yes” because he impressed us so much with his antics!

We are so excited to see what Matthew does in his life. With his God-given abilities and talents, we know it’s going to be wonderful. We want to enjoy each day and not wish our lives away, yet we are excited to see what awaits him in the days ahead.

Matthew entered our lives and our hearts and forever carved a place in the center of our world. God blessed us with a wonderful son – one who has brought immense love, joy, adventure and gratefulness to our lives. Matthew means "gift from God" and he has truly been an incredible gift.

Happy Birthday, Matthew. We love you.

Husband-Catching Brownies

2009-10-27T12:32:00.000-04:00

After writing about these brownies, I have been getting requests for the recipe, including my own sweet sister-in-law, Judy. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, Stephen, and their beautiful daughters, MyKenzie, Melaney and Maggey. This one's for you, Judy!

This is the recipe that won the heart of my husband, Ken, before we even started dating! It's a cross between a brownie and a cake. So, I jokingly refer to them as 'Husband-Catching Brownies'! Even if you don't need a husband, these brownies are a real treat! I hope you enjoy them.

Honey Bear Brownies

1/3 cup margarine
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup honey OR 1/4 cup Karo syrup
2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1/2 cup flour
1/3 cup cocoa
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup nuts, optional

1. Cream margarine and sugar; blend in honey or syrup and vanilla. Add
eggs, one at a time; beat well after each. Combine dry ingredients. Add to
creamed mixture. Stir in nuts. Spread into greased 9 x 9 inch pan.

2. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. Watch carefully as brownies will get too
brown on bottom.

3. FROST WITH MISSISSIPPI MUD CAKE FROSTING

Mississippi Mud Frosting

1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbls. cocoa
2 Tbls. margarine
1/4 cup milk
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 Tbls. white syrup (like Karo)
cup confectioners sugar

1. Combine all ingredients in heavy saucepan EXCEPT confectioners sugar.
Boil for 3 minutes and stir constantly to keep from sticking.

2. Remove from heat and add confectioners sugar. You may use 1/2 to 3/4
cup. The more sugar you add, the quicker the frosting hardens, so work
fast! Spread on cooled brownies.

Comments: Use this as a wonderful frosting for Honey Bear Brownies. Tastes
like fudge!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cooking Tips:
1. If possible, use a glass or light-colored baking pan, as I've learned these brownies brown quickly on the bottom in my dark aluminum pans.
2. For best results, do not overbake.
3. May double recipe and bake in a 9 x 13 pan.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

'Honey Bear Brownies' and My Aunt Brenda

2009-10-16T10:27:00.001-04:00

(My Aunt Brenda and Uncle Jack with their kids, Randy and Renee. This is an OLD photo - I think it was taken in 1987!)

I love my Aunt Brenda. My mom’s only sister, Brenda was a good bit younger than my mom. She used to babysit for me when I was a little girl. I think she told me I was maybe 4 or 5 at the time. She has told me on different occasions about babysitting for me and telling me it was time to go home from wherever she had taken me (I think she said it was the park), and I’d say, “Ok, Mommy. I mean - Brenda!” She just smiles when she tells me that story, like it’s a sweet memory for her.

And I have so many sweet memories of Brenda! She lives in Virginia, where I (mostly) grew up. I saw her recently, and although I had not seen her for four years (is that even possible?), it was like I had just seen her the previous day. Do you have family and friends like that? No matter how long it’s been since you’ve spoken or seen each other, you truly pick up like you’ve never been apart? It’s always like that with Brenda! We just connect instantly and I love that!

Brenda is so much like my own sweet mother that, in some ways, being with her is like being with my mom. She sounds like my mom (especially on the phone), laughs like my mom and at the same kind of things my mom laughed at... I love that because to me it’s like being given a very special gift. I lost my mother over 16 years ago. It seems like an eternity when I look at the years. Yet, I still feel so close to her, like she’s always with me, experiencing with me what I experience in many ways. So, being with Brenda is an extra special treat; in so many ways it’s like going home.

I was thinking a lot about Brenda yesterday, when I made “Honey Bear Brownies” for Matthew, who came home from college for the weekend. Brenda shared this recipe with me probably 30 years ago. I hadn’t made these brownies for years, yet they hold special memories in my family. You see, it was with these brownies that I snagged my husband, Ken! And while that is another story entirely, suffice it to say that my Aunt Brenda has supplied me with many of the incredible recipes that have become family and friend-favorites. Brenda is a wonderful cook, so any recipe she recommends automatically makes it to the “Save!” file! Even when I go through and discard recipes from my overflowing collections, I never throw away any Brenda shared with me! Some of them I’ve never even tried – well, not yet – but there is no way I could part with them!

I write on this blog about hospitality and my memories of times past. My memories of being at Brenda’s house are very special. Whenever she has known we were going to visit, she made wonderful, home-cooked meals that could stand up against any TV chef! I remember delicious meals with yummy casseroles and fresh garden produce. Brenda cans and freezes hundreds of containers of green beans and other items she and her husband, Jack, grow in their garden every year.

And her desserts?! Wow! Brenda always has a terrific dessert – usually something I’ve never tried. What’s so amazing is that she has no qualms about making a brand new dessert for company. You know, the pros tell you that’s a ‘no-no’. I love it that Brenda tosses caution to the wind and tries something new for guests! No guts, no glory! Well, she always gets lots of praise, because her meals are always worth talking about – and obviously worth writing about, too!

I love you, Brenda! And I miss you. I wish you lived closer and that I could see you more often!

Telling It Like It Is....

2009-10-13T12:28:00.000-04:00

(My cousin Lynn and I were photographed Easter Sunday. I suspect this photos was taken about 1967. Lynn, on the left, was about 6, and I was about 5.)

I admire my cousin Lynn. You may remember, she recently lost her husband, Rickey. She now has the sole responsibility of raising their two beautiful children, Seth and Brice. I have to say, Lynn handled the services for Rickey with grace and composure and somehow managed to get through those difficult days. Now, I’m sure she faces many different challenges as a mom and the primary caregiver.

And while I admire all of those things about her, that’s really not the purpose of my writing today. You see, Lynn has an amazing quality, nay, ability, that I sometimes wish I had. Lynn has the ability to say what she thinks. All the time. And…she has told me that she has never regretted anything she has said. See what I mean? I wish I could do that – sometimes.

I am sure that as a middle school principal the ability to tell it like it is comes in especially handy. The stories she tells about what those kids do and say leave me speechless. Not Lynn. Without missing a beat, and in no uncertain terms, she tells them what’s on her mind and then lays down the law!

Lynn and I grew up living close together for many of our growing up years. An only child herself and only 10 months my senior, I guess we were much like sisters and had the love-hate relationships that I’ve heard others talk about. In many ways being from the same extended family, we are similar. Our tastes in decorating, for example, are very similar. On different occasions we have discovered that we actually bought the same items without discussing it until afterwards. I remember buying bath towels and even new handles for kitchen cabinets that were identical. We got a real kick out of that, complimenting each other on our great taste!

But, we’re also very different. I’ve always tried to be tactful, to communicate without offending. I have always been proud of my ability to relate to a variety of people, even playing the role of mediator or peacemaker when needed. Perhaps that’s why I ended up in a career which focuses on public relations and marketing – areas where those qualities are real advantages.

Sometimes though, just sometimes, I’d like to speak my mind to the person who steps up to the store counter out of turn, in front of others who are waiting. In this case more often than not, I say nothing. Lynn would say something or die on the spot! I’d also like to tell our mail carrier in no uncertain terms that she, for the 5th time this month, gave us our neighbor’s mail - yet again. I mean, how difficult is it, for goodness’ sake?! I should say that I have mentioned it to her, just not with the full enthusiasm I’d like. And certainly not in the colorful way I can imagine Lynn addressing the situation….

Similarly, but on a different note, Lynn has a very honest relationship with the gal who does her hair. (Now, I am blessed with a terrific hair dresser who fits me in amazingly fast, no matter when I call. Her name is Deb and she is wonderful. I love her!) Lynn has a different approach. When she needed a hair appointment with a busy stylist a few months ago, she told me the gal asked what her week looked like, so they could try to schedule an appointment a few days out. Lynn said, “Well, I don’t know, but I tell everybody you do my hair.” The stylist replied, “Can you come today?” Too funny!! That’s Lynn for you. She calls it as she sees it!

I could tell you more, like how she stabbed me with a pencil when we were 3 or 4 because I sat in her rocking chair. Sharing was never big on Lynn’s list, and she wanted me to remember that apparently. Although I don’t remember it, she tells with clarity how she stabbed my arm and then pulled the pencil down, breaking skin all the way down my arm. She wanted me to remember not to use her chair, I guess.

There were other times, though, that I do remember, like when I visited her at her grandmother’s house (as I often did…I loved ‘Momaw Mary’ and claimed her as my own). I remember visiting them in that little house on the hill when we were tweeners. Lynn wanted me to know that she was still in control, I guess. I remember her taking a large pin – like a corsage pin or a hat pin, as I recall – and threatening to poke me with it. I told her I’d tell Momaw Mary on her and she said, “I’ll wait until she goes in the other room and I’ll stick you with this. Who do you think Momaw’s going to believe?” Evil, I tell you, pure evil! Well, not really. More like sisters, I suppose??

But, there have been lots of wonderful times, too. I remember literally hundreds and hundreds of long-distance phone calls through the years. She has a quick wit and she’s so funny. She always makes me laugh. Through the years there have been times when we’ve been close and other times, well, not so much. I’ve always said that Lynn is probably as close as a sister as I’ll ever have. Is this the way sisters behave, this love-hate thing?

Please understand: I know Lynn has to have issues with me, too! When we used to shop together on occasion, she would fuss about how long it took me to make a decision about a purchase. Now she was right - I did have to see everything in a 50-mile radius before deciding sometimes. I remember shopping with her when I was looking for a wicker hamper for our bathroom in North Carolina 20 + years ago. She made some comment about me being the only person she knew who took a month to decide on a clothes hamper (in my defense, we used that hamper for years and I think it might still be holding something in storage somewhere in our basement or storage unit!). Ok, so she was right. There, I said it.

I also remember different times when she has called and asked. “How is your life? Wonderful, I suppose?” My 'PR answer' to what’s going on in my life – whether positive or not perhaps – is not something she can relate to. I think that’s why I admire her but I am also fascinated with her. You see, I think Lynn is my alter-ego! That being said, I guess I am her alter ego. Now I can tell you, she would be more frightened by that than I am! Not being the person who tells it like it is - without tact or caution - would hamper her personality. And isn’t her tell-it-the-way-it-is personality the reason why I love her the way she is?

Share Your Memories With Me

2009-10-07T21:15:00.001-04:00

I want to hear from YOU!!

Do you know people who have the gift of hospitality? What kinds of things do they do to make you feel welcome, at home, loved? Is it a look, a touch, specific things they do? Why do you feel this person has the gift of hospitality?

How about when you were younger - lots younger, like 8 or 10. Do you have special memories of someone from days gone by? Maybe that person has since passed away or maybe you're fortunate enough that he or she is still in your life. What specifically did that person do that made you feel special?

As you think about this, keep in mind the senses.

See -I suppose it goes without saying, but do you have visual memories that hold a special plate in your heart? Was it a smile or a look from someone?
Taste - this is an obvious one, too, but what tastes do you recall?
Smell - similarly, were there pleasant aromas wafting from a kitchen in your memories?
Touch - do you remember the fabric that covered a couch or the smooth cotton of a handmade quilt on the bed?
Hear - and finally, what sounds do you remember? Was the radio always on (if so, what songs do you remember?), did someone play the piano or other musical instrument?

I'm anxious to hear from you, my readers. You may leave a message here, email me at: brower@zoominternet.net or friend me on Facebook.

I will be posting answers in the not-too-distant future. Please share your memories with me!

Family Weekend at Miami University

2009-10-07T12:07:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a long time since I posted. It's been a busy time! Here are photos from Family Weekend at Miami, which we just attended.

It was wonderful to see Matthew! Visiting him at Miami on 'his turf' was a real treat! He gave us a tour of the new Farmer's School of Business (Miami's pride and joy!) and other buildings where he has classes. He's obviously comfortable at MU and is adjusting well. Ah, music to parents' ears!!

This photo was taken outside the residence hall where Matthew lives.

We attended the Bill Cosby show at Millet Hall. Ken got us great seats on the floor, just a few rows back from the stage.

Bill Cosby put on a great show. He talked about college life in his own special way and also did his "dentist" routine. Hilarious!

We can't believe how mature Matthew has become. Here he's photographed with President Hodge, Miami University's President. Matthew saw him before the Cosby show started and wanted to go over to introduce himself. Of course, I had to capture the moment with a photo.

We also got to see Trent, our other son who attends Miami. These are Trent's biological parents, Jim and Carol. Of course, we claim him as our own, but we understand he wants to spend time with his other parents, too. We still got to spend time with him, as he attended the Cosby show with us.

Matthew and Trent with 2 new friends. From the left: Trent, Xiang Cheng, David and Matthew. They all live in Tappan, the residence hall for honors students.

These were taken at the Bed & Breakfast, where we stayed in Richmond, Indiana. Miami is really close to the Indiana state line.

It was a wonderful weekend - the most fun I've had - ever, maybe! Thank you, Matthew, for your hospitality and for showing us a great time! Love you!

Vanessa's Sweet Tea

2009-09-25T14:02:00.000-04:00

You asked for it, so here it is!

I am often asked for the 'recipe' for the sweet tea I serve. Although there is no real recipe, I have found the way we seem to like it best. I first learned to make tea from my mother-in-law, Jane, many years ago. I have tweaked it and changed it through the years and this is the way I make it most of the time.

Vanessa's Sweet Tea
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 bag Lipton GALLON Size Tea (or 3 Family Size)
2 cups sugar **
1-1/2 qt. water
Additional water to make 1 gallon of liquid

1. Add enough cold water to fill 1-1/2 quart saucepan to within 3/4 inch of
top. Add 1 Gallon-size tea bag (or 3 family-size or equivalent). Bring just to
a boil over high heat. Remove from heat immediately. Steep for 25 minutes.

2. Add sugar to 1 gallon pitcher or container. Using slotted spoon to hold tea bags, add hot liquid to sugar, being sure to drain tea bags. Stir well to mix sugar. Add cold water to saucepan and pour into gallon container, stirring well after each addition of water. Be sure to drain the tea bags with each addition of water, to remove all the tea goodness out of every bag! Continue to fill to 1 gallon measure. Stir well.

3. Refrigerate. Tea may be served immediately, but is better if allowed to
sit 4-6 hours. Keep refrigerated. Serve over ice and garnish with mint, if
desired. I do not like to serve tea that is more than 2 days old, although
that is rarely a problem!

Note: Add flavored bags for a fun variety. I rarely make "plain" tea
anymore, as we prefer raspberry. Peach is also delicious. Garnish with
frozen peach slices!

** Also: I usually do not make "full sugar" tea anymore. Try Splenda or other sweetener to cut calories. If using the Splenda Blend, use 1 cup of sugar and 1/2 cup of Splenda Blend. If using regular Splenda, use 1 cup of sugar and 1 cup of Splenda. Or, use 2 cups of Splenda!

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Update from Charlotte

2009-09-22T11:46:00.000-04:00

As I write today, I am sitting in a hotel lobby in Charlotte, North Carolina. It seems so strange and unfamiliar to be writing from here, but it's been so long since I've written and I wanted to let you know what's going on....

We left Ohio on Saturday for a family funeral. My cousin, Lynn, lost her husband unexpectedly last week and Ken and I came down for the services. It was a sad time, as Rickey was only 53 (he would have turned 54 tomorrow), and they have two boys, both still at home. Seth is a high school junior and Brice, who's 14, is autistic. Both services were beautiful and we were so glad we could be there with Lynn and her boys, as well as the rest of the family. (We came to Charlotte yesterday. Ken has a conference here.)

It has felt so strange to travel without Matthew. Of course, he's deep into his 5th week at Miami and could not come with us. Friends and family members, unaccustomed to seeing us without him, asked where he was. When we told them he was at school, they looked a little surprised and again asked where he was, as if we could and did just pick him up at our leisure (how I wish!). Ken and I thought it was really kind of comical; it showed how we weren't the only ones at a loss without our boy! Even relatives thought it strange to see us without him and couldn't imagine that we would leave him at college, apparently, while we traveled south.

I especially wish Matthew could be with us now. We are staying at a beautiful hotel within sight of Charlotte Motor Speedway. Ken even had the opportunity to ride around the Nascar track last night (and was especially impressed, it seemed, with the track's "banking," which was evidently all they say it is...) Matthew would have loved that and the golf course we're backed up to.... Funny, isn't it, how even though when our kids get older we still think of the things they love and love to do?

Even though we lived in this area of North Carolina and I sold real estate in Charlotte (as well as in Durham, when we lived there), it's changed so much since we lived here! Of course, that does seem like another lifetime ago... Ken and I are hoping to scout the area this evening, after his meetings are over. I'm not sure how far we'll get, but I have my eyes on a huge IKEA store I saw on the way in....

In the meantime, I am so grateful that hotels now have wireless internet - just like at home! A friend mentioned to me on the phone yesterday that a lot has changed in the last year. She mentioned that a year ago Matthew would have been home, but I would not have been free to travel with Ken like this. Fortunately, Ken doesn't travel much (I say fortunately, because he HATES it!). Writing about it today reminds me of 'Fortunately/Unfortunately,' a game we used to play with Matthew. It goes something like this:

Unfortunately, we had to come to Virginia for a funeral.
Fortunately, we were well enough to travel and were able to visit with family and old friends.
Unfortunately, Matthew was unable to come,
Fortunately, he is at Miami, which he loves.
Unfortunately, Ken had to come to Charlotte afterwards.
Fortunately, I was able to come with him.
Unfortunately, he's in meetings today (which is, after all, why we're here!)
Fortunately, I have a laptop and can travel with him.

If we look hard enough, we can find the fortunate in the unfortunate. Can you find a silver lining in whatever gray clouds hang above you in your 'sky' today? We all have the clouds - the challenge is to find the blessings also hidden there.

2009-09-18T07:14:00.001-04:00

Hello Friends.

I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch for so long. Some of you have been inquiring, wondering what’s been going on. It’s been a busy time. Here’s what’s new...

Sad news…
We learned last night that my cousin, Lynn, lost her husband, Rickey, yesterday. They had been married 22, maybe 23 years and have two sons, Seth, a high school junior and Brice, a 14 year-old son with autism. Lynn and I grew up together. Both only children, we are only 10 months apart in age and although we used to be very close, we had grown apart in recent years. Recently that’s been changing and I have felt a closeness with her that I have missed. Please pray for Lynn, Seth and Brice during these difficult days ahead.

An update on Janet
Janet is doing great. In fact, she has been moved to an extended care facility. She was finally well enough to have a tracheostomy and is off a ventilator. I understand she is learning to communicate with a trachestomy tube, an exhausting and frustrating process which takes time to master. She is alert and ate a little applesauce recently – her first solid food since being placed in intensive care nearly a month ago. Although she has many months of therapy ahead of her, her spirits are good and she is gaining strength every day. Janet is truly a miracle!

An update on Joyce
Joyce is doing great, too! She and her husband, Chris, were here last weekend and spent the night with us. Joyce had an appointment with her doctor in Dover on Monday. He was very pleased with her progress and after a month of a liquid diet has released her to (soft) solid food. Woo-hoo! Boy, is she excited!

1st Class
My first class was this week. It was a small class and those ladies were hungry for information about hospitality! I hope I was able to provide them with a few ideas that they were able to take home with them and use in their homes with their families and friends. That is certainly my goal. Those sweet gals were my guinea pigs – poor things! Thank you, ladies, for your patience and for your interest! It was fun meeting each one of you. Thank you for sharing your evening with me.

More postings to follow. Thank you all for your support of me and this hospitality blog!

Savannah in August

2009-09-09T16:45:00.001-04:00

While flipping channels one day last week, I saw Paula Deen on Oprah. I rarely watch the show, but seeing Paula brought back memories of meeting Paula and visiting Savannah, so I just had to watch for a few minutes. On that particular show (which was rerun highlights), Paula had a mishap with the mixer. That was her first Oprah appearance, they said, but she handled it with the style, grace and humor for which she has become known. I had the privilege of seeing that same grace and humor firsthand when I attended Paula’s cooking class in Savannah. The way I landed in the class was nothing short of amazing, but it is a twist of fate for which I will always be grateful.

We had the opportunity to visit Savannah that first time a few years ago. Ken, Matthew and I were looking for a different vacation destination location that summer. We’d been tossing around various ideas with our small group (Bible study) friends for a month or so. Donna and Harold (who have the lovely pond with the frogs I wrote about before) suggested Savannah on more than one occasion. I must have appeared skeptical, because Donna said, “I think you’d really like it,” Other friends, Dave and Ruth, who’d also visited, told us, “It’s got this really neat City Market with all these little shops and a wonderful historic district.” Well, it did sound appealing, but had I known the attraction I’d feel for Savannah, I’d have wanted to leave that night!

We did go as it turned out, and I should tell you that we went in August. Let me say that again. We went in August. To Savannah. Georgia. And we loved it! Yes, it was hot….meltingly hot (I don’t even know if that’s a word, but it was that hot, and we still loved it!). So that should tell you how smitten we were! Even though Ken and I had lived in South Carolina right after we were first married and also in North Carolina later on, we knew how hot it was that far south late in the summer. Yet, we wanted to try something different and we (amazingly) went to Savannah in August. And yes, we all loved it. It was an experience we will never forget.

First of all, we left for Geogia from Tennessee, where we had already been vacationing, and we had no reservations for our time Savannah. We never do that. We always have reservations, make plans, know roughly what we’re going to do in an unfamiliar area. We actually arrived in Savannah with no reservations. I was a bundle of nerves. WHAT WERE WE THINKING? We drove around Savannah, and we spotted a beautiful hotel on the river. Wow, wouldn’t it be awesome to stay there, we wondered aloud? Ken called, checked availability, and actually made reservations at that moment! In fact, we drove right to the hotel entrance and from within five minutes of the time we spotted the hotel, we were in the lobby, checking in. I remember being amazed at how easy all of that was. (On a side note, the heat of the summer season could misdirect an uninformed soul to think that's why such accommodations were so readily available. However, Savannah's Chamber of Commerce and Tourism Bureau were hard at work because its its Convention Center was fully booked at that time!)

So, with Step 1 to ensure a fun Savannah vacation complete, Ken was on to Step 2: Securing a ticket for me to the Paula Deen cooking class. I should mention that this was when Paula was doing her cooking classes in Savannah in her restaurant. I learned before we left home for Tennessee that the ONLY classes Paula had left to teach that summer were being taught the very days we were in Savannah, but there was NO availability. I was so disappointed! I really wanted to go to one of her classes, and I was heartbroken that her only remaining class that year was full, and had been full, apparently, for quite some time. In fact, that’s why we hadn’t made reservations for Savannah earlier. When we talked with our friends about Savannah, I thought it would be a nice to place to visit, but would I feel the same if I couldn't attend the cooking class? I wasn't so sure. Yet, Ken was convinced we should venture to the southern city to give it a whirl...

So, here we were, in beautiful Savannah, where Ken, my dear, sweet, husband, was determined that I WOULD attend that class. So, with Step 1 in his proverbial rear view mirror, Ken was ready to take on Step 2. At this lovely hotel, with its concierge, surely, Ken thought, they must reserve some tickets for the Paula Deen cooking classes. He contacted the concierge to inquire. No, they were very sorry, but those tickets sold out very early because they were in such high demand. No kidding. However, might they recommend The Lady & Sons Restaurant? They could give the hours where, although they didn't accept reservations, guests could stand in line for a ticket for a time to return for dinner. You’ve got to be kidding? Ken thought. (It’s true, we learned. Twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon, a line forms where tickets are given for approximate meal times. These are similar to reservations, but they are not exact times and they do not refer to them as reservations. Sometimes these lines form hours before tickets are disbursed and people wait for these prized tickets in the hot, Savannah sun. Upon returning for the noon or evening meal, however, the wait is generally only 5-10 minutes, and the food is wonderful!)

Ok, back to Step 2....
So, my determined husband who was not easily deterred, called the Lady & Sons Restaurant to inquire if they had any tickets available for Paula’s classes that week. No, they didn't, but he did learn that the following days’ class would be taught at Bubba’s Oyster House at Tybee Island (Bubba is Paula’s brother and this was his new restaurant). That was only a ten minute drive or so from downtown Savannah, they told him.

So, no luck with the Concierge or the Lady & Sons getting tickets to Paula’s class. Yet, my husband was determined that I was going to that class. “But honey, it’s filled,” I said. Needless to say, on the morning of the class, we were off to Bubba’s. The staff at Bubba’s warmly greeted us and when I explained that I had come all the way from Orrville, Ohio they were impressed and then promptly explained that they were very sorry, but unless someone cancelled, they had no openings for the class that day. In fact, they further explained, they were already doing a double class that day due to a bus line scheduling problem the previous day and were completely full (thus the relocation to Bubba's). They told me I was welcome to wait. If someone cancelled, they would love to have me in the class.

Afraid to leave the place I had inside already with all the excited folks waiting to see Paula and attend her cooking class, I used my cell phone to call Ken and Matthew who were waiting outside. (Even though I had no ticket, and no reason to think I'd get inside the class anyway, it was like I thought the enthusiasm of those around me would whisk me inside with them, I guess.) “Just wait there,” Ken assured me. “You’ll get in.” Even though everyone showed up (it was, after all, Paula Deen!), amazingly, I was able to get in. At the last minute, a staff member approached me, smiled, brought me the bag of "goodies" that went with the class, and asked for a credit card to pay for the class fee. I'm not sure if it was the look of determination on my face, the fact that I was willing to sit and wait for an opening, or the sheer will of my husband (and perhaps his prayers on my behalf for a gift he so wanted to give me), but for whatever reason those dear people at the Paula Deen Show let me attend class that day.

And it was the most wonderful gift! It was 3 hours of cooking, sampling and 'dishing' fun (Ken and Matthew made their own fun - golfing maybe. Quite honestly, I don't even remember!) I don’t normally see myself as a starstruck person, but Paula really was wonderful. She made so much effort to make those who attended feel welcome and special. I found her to be warm and genuine. I felt like we were sitting in her kitchen while she cooked for us. She shared a lot of her personal history and if you are familiar with Paula, you know she tends to share a lot of herself. In fact, it could be said that she shared way too much personal information, but she just laughed heartily while doing so, like she didn't have a care in the world. It was really like being with an old friend or like someone I wished was an old friend. She was fun and feisty. She put humor and life in the kitchen where my mother showed me it should always begin. She showed all of us that we can enjoy ourselves while we're in the kitchen. That's a lesson I first learned from my mother and I was thrilled to share it again with Paula in her cooking class.

As far as Savannah....we loved every part of Savannah, with its dozens of beautiful city squares and moss-draped trees and its rich history, not to mention City Market with its lovely shops and River Street, with all its lovely shops. We returned to Savannah a couple of years later and stayed at the Hamilton-Turner Inn, a Bed and Breakfast on one of Savannah’s beautiful squares. It was the first house to have electricity in Savannah. We stayed in one of the beautiful suites on the 4th floor, and even when we made the reservations, we knew there were no elevators. This is a historical mansion and I really wanted to experience what it would be like to stay there. I somehow convinced Ken and Matthew they did, too. And guess what month we went that year? Yep, we went again in August! What were we thinking? And yes, we loved it! And it was so hot! We'd go outside and melt! Amazingly, we did get a little used to the heat after a day or two. I want to vist next time in May, when the magnolias are in full bloom. That sounds like pure heaven on earth! Even though Savannah is like no other place I've ever lived, in many ways I feel like I've gone home when I go to Savannah. I look forward to returning. In May this time. Or August. If it's Savannah, I'll even go in August.

Our Boys Were All Home This Weekend

2009-09-07T13:29:00.000-04:00

But no, they weren't dressed like this! This photo was taken at their senior prom. From left to right are Jacob, Cody, Matthew (our biological son :-) and Trent.

I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to hear the garage door open on Friday night and to know that Matthew had arrived home safely from college. Ken and I looked at each other, arose from the couch excitedly and went out to hug and greet our baby boy, uh, I mean our young man. How wonderful it was to see him! And I do believe he grew 2 inches taller in the two weeks since we had last seen him! He's already nearly 6'5". How much more can he grow?!

We had the most amazing weekend! We learned about the classes Matthew is taking and the professors he has this term. They are some very colorful people! He shared some funny stories and some interesting anecdotes about campus life as only Matthew can. He told us about friends he's met and clubs and organizations he's interested in. We listened to him talk and loved every minute of it.

We were also delighted to have Matthew's close group of friends overnight one of the nights, too. They played video games and then crashed in the basement. It was just like so many nights from the recent past. As we made breakfast for them, Ken and I cried because we were so emotional, happy to have our kids all together again. You'd think these grown young men would be embarrased by such a sight or think us silly (and heck, maybe they did), but I have to tell you, what I saw was something way more mature. I saw understanding for our feelings. I saw affection returned and I saw appreciation for the love they sensed coming their way. Our 'boys' may be young men now, but they will always be our boys.

Thoughts on Supper Swapping

2009-09-04T09:49:00.000-04:00

(This photo has nothing to do with supper swapping, but these are the gals with whom I supper swapped! Here Linda, Wanda and I are photographed after church one Sunday while on vacation together. At home in Orrville, we all go to different churches. In fact, both their husbands are pastors.)
____________________________________________________

Have you ever thought about participating in a supper swap? Do you know what I mean by the term 'supper swap'? It’s when you team up with friends, neighbors and/or co-workers to make meal-time easy! Trish Berg, author of The Great American Supper Swap, says “Supper swapping is moms helping moms by sharing the cooking responsibilities for their families. One day a week you cook enough food for everyone in your group, usually 3 -5 families. You keep one meal for your family and deliver the other meals to the families in your group. The rest of the week, they deliver supper to you.” Sounds easy enough, right?

Now that Ken and I are empty-nesters, we don't cook as much as we did and we are not currently participating in a supper swap (which I actually miss a little). However, every fall I always think a lot about supper-swapping since that's the season when we started. I guess that's why it's been on my mind a lot lately and also why I thought you might enjoy reading about the experiences Wanda, Linda and I shared during our supper swapping days.

I first learned of this concept from an article I read in Today’s Christian Woman, one of my favorite women's magazines (by the way, I just learned yesterday, TCW is no longer going to be published. It's going to be strictly an e-magazine). I read the article about three years ago and suggested the idea of supper swapping to Linda and Wanda, two friends who were also willing to give it a try.

Incidentally, I later realized that the author of the article and the aforementioned book, Trish Berg, is a gal who lives in Dalton, a community very close to our town of Orrville, Ohio! What a small world! In fact, after my friends and I met to discuss the idea of doing this, Wanda presented Linda and me each with a copy of Trish’s book, The Great American Supper Swap, after she heard Trish speak locally.

As the book suggested, before beginning the supper swap, the three of us met to discuss how we would approach it. Even though there were just our 3 families, it seemed to be such a huge undertaking at first! Some groups swap with 4 or even 5 families! We thought we'd be flying for 3 of us to do it since we live close together and it would be easy to deliver meals to each other. As it turned out, 3 did turn out to be perfect for us and we opted to leave our supper swap group at that size. (My friend and neighbor, Janeen, later started one with 5 in her group, and they love it!)

We also learned from the book that it's best to begin supper-swapping with families similar in size to your own. That makes sense from a meal prep standpoint. I mean, if there are 4 in your family, it really wouldn't feel normal for you to make dinner for a family of 7 or 8. Both Linda and Wanda have 4 in their families, and although we only had 3 at the time, as Matthew was still at home then, we always planned on at least one extra teenager for dinner, so that worked out great for us, too.

Before commiting to it long-term, we decided we’d try it for a month with each of us cooking once each week for the other families. So we met with calendars in hand and ideas of dishes to prepare. Not knowing how much to make or really where to start, we were still anxious to give it a try. We decided to make one main dish and one side dish each time. So, for example, on my night, I might make baked spaghetti with a salad and bread. Often we would add items, but only the two items would be planned and depended upon. (We figured we could easily add an extra veggie, salad or bread ourselves on our own, if we chose.) We decided our menus in advance so that we didn't plan to prepare chicken for our families when we cooked for ourselves in addition to when we cooked for each other. That all worked out better than we thought. Not knowing exactly how much food we would need, we made more than we needed. That turned out great because we often had leftovers, depending on the meals, which generally meant we had enough meals for the weekday meals. We liked that! That first month went great and we loved it, so we continued to swap.

I loved the 'swapping' part of the day! I looked so forward to packing up the food I had prepared for my friends and carrying it to my car to be delivered! Sometimes Ken or Matthew would help me deliver. Matthew had just gotten his license as I recall, and sometimes he would do the delivery himself! And wow, did I look forward to seeing my friends come in with their delicious food! Yum-my! I love to cook, but I really looked forward to having them deliver our supper! There were some days when we would have extra kids for supper (not unusual for us) and I'd just add some extra stuff to the dinner table. I'd always tell the kids who'd supplied what. I remember telling Trent (one of our boys) one night that Mrs. Pfahler had made something one night, and he responded, "Yeah, I remember when she made that once before!" Like I said, these kids were regulars at our house. Once we had favorite dishes, we would request them monthly. We'd meet at one of our favorite local restaurants for breakfast (a good excuse for a girls' outing!) and start our planning for the next month's meals. It might start out something like... "I don't know if you have anything in mind, but Vanessa, we'd love to have those Chickens Puffs again..."

We tried foods we wouldn’t normally try and we learned to be honest. What we were willing to try once sometimes we wanted to try only once. And we were honest about that. We decided at the beginning that we needed to be upfront about those kinds of things and we were. Wanda, a health-conscious person who liked my (baked) Chicken Puffs, was not so excited about seeing my family's favorite fried foods on the menu. (But I am from the SOUTH! I would jokingly remind her.) So, we worked around those things and honored each others' opinions. It was a wonderful learning experience for all of us. I would not trade that time for anything.

When Wanda decided to take a break from participating for a few months, she told us she really missed not seeing us. It’s amazing how those few minutes a few times a week helped each of us to feel connected to each other.

We prayed for each others’ families in a concerted effort on the days we cooked. I felt really close to my friends’ families, especially on those days. Preparing food is very personal and truly is a labor of love.

We decided to take a hiatus during specific sports seasons because it was difficult to work out schedules. We picked up the swapping at a later time, but Wanda later opted out, telling us that she was "the weakest link." We assured her that was not the case! Her salisbury steak is heavenly and you've already heard me rave about her cinnamon rolls in a previous posting! Yet, for her, the timing had run its course and Linda and I understood.

Linda and I continued swapping on and off, depending on our schedules. Even now, although we don't swap on a regular basis, I am often blessed by a call from Linda when she knows I've had a particularly busy or stressful week, telling me she's bringing over supper. Oh, that is music to my ears! Her chicken pot pie, as they say, is to die for! And I would be remiss if I did not mention her Asian broccoli salad...and her chicken and noodles, oh my goodness! Linda's cooking reminds me so much of my mom's cooking, so to me it's comfort food. I try to reciprocate and help her out with meals sometimes, too. She has a fondness for my chocolate chip cookies. And that reminds me, I'm sure I'm long overdue in making something for her family.

Obviously, I cannot adequately explain all the nuances of supper swapping in such a small space. I just wanted to share some of my personal insights with you and to tell you that supper swapping enriched my life and my friendships and for that I am so grateful. I am happy to answer any questions about my supper swapping experiences anytime. You are welcome to contact me here, by email or on Facebook.

To learn even more about all aspects of this fun endeavor including how to start your own group, the best recipes for supper swapping beginners, cooking/baking container suggestions, how it will save you money, Q & As, and so much more, BUY THE BOOK!!! It's a wonderful resource. Or better yet, visit the library and borrow the book. Also, Trish Berg's website is full of useful free downloads like recipes and calendars. She will even do a free 15 minute chat on the phone with your group to answer questions to help get you started - all more than I could offer! So, if you haven't already, I hope you'll check out Trish Berg's website at: www.trishberg.com.

Incidentally, I've also attended a small group session she held on supper swapping and highly recommend her as a speaker for any function you might have at your organization or church. She fun, funny and down to earth. Again, the book is The Great American Supper Swap by Trish Berg.

If you have even an inkling to try it, find a friend or co-worker with an interest and give it a whirl. You might just be surprised at how fun it can be. It can enrich your life and your friendships more than you can imagine.

Prayers for Janet

2009-09-03T15:30:00.001-04:00

Please pray for my cousin, Janet, who is in intensive care in a Chicago hospital.

As many of you know from Facebook and email, Janet has been diagnosed with H1N1 and is in critical condition. She is being brought out of the medically induced paralysis and coma that she has been in for a couple of weeks. Over the next few days, tests should reveal what, if any, damage has been done to her body as a result of the infection. Please pray for Janet and her husband, Dallas. Her grown children are Dallas and Allysha. (Also, her mom is Juanita, one of my favorite aunts, about whom I have written on different occasions.)

Janet is such a fun-loving person. She loves to laugh and although she's only a few years my senior, she's always been someone I've admired. A characteristic I've noticed about her is her sensitivity. When the family gets together and then gets ready to separate, Janet is always the first to cry, hesitating to break away. I think she realizes how precious family is and that we have no guarantees that we'll all be together again. Please pray for Janet. She is precious to all of us.

Leaving A Legacy

2009-09-02T10:19:00.003-04:00

I had intended to write about supper-swapping today, but I have something else on my heart and feel I must share it...

I received a gift this week. A simply gift, really, but one that touched my heart deeply. My best friend, Linda, learned that I wanted a specific ringtone for my cell phone. She surprised me by having her son, Matthew, send it directly to my phone. I cried when I received it because this song has such special meaning to me. The song is Legacy and was written and recorded by Christian artist, Nichole Nordeman. I don’t know if you are familiar with it, but I am including the lyrics, below. Please note especially the chorus, which I have highlighted.

Legacy
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

~~Nichole Nordeman

(For some reason I am unable to link this successfully, so to hear this song in its entirety and see the video, please paste this address directly into your browser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbi4nSrhRxo

The lyrics of this song are so close to my heart. When I hear them I wonder...am I doing enough to show love to those who feel unloved? Am I really inviting those to our home who don’t feel like they belong anywhere, with anyone? While there is certainly nothing wrong with having fun and offering hospitality, in my effort to do so, am I making enough of an effort to place the focus where it belongs and point to the One who loves us unconditionally? And do I do so unashamedly, unapologetically?

Tough questions. I’m not sure I have the answers. If I do, I'm not sure I like them. If you’re sitting around town and you hear my cell phone ring, you’ll know I’m still asking myself.

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

(If you have still not been able to see the video, go to Google, type in
Nichole Nordeman Legacy Video
and you'll see a photo with piano keys. Click on this. It's a YouTube video.)

Drying Tree Hydrangeas

2009-09-01T11:42:00.001-04:00

Does anyone know anything about drying tree hydrangeas? We have a tree in our backyard (right outside our breakfast room and dining room) just full of white blooms that are beginning to turn pink. They are beautiful! One branch is nearly touching the ground this year! I've never tried to dry these, but I have tried - and not very successfully, I might add - to dry the bush variety.

I understand the blooms need to age slightly on the vine before harvesting. I tried that with my other hydrangeas, but still the blooms wilted after a few days. Any suggestions? I'd love to hear your comments, as I LOVE hydrangeas and have silk ones all over the house! I'd love to add some dried ones, too.

p.s. If you click on the photo on the left to enlarge it, you can see Jeffrey Bob, looking on! ;-)

You Know They Feel at Home When.....

2009-08-31T10:24:00.000-04:00

...they plan a party to be hosted at YOUR house! And we wouldn't have had it any other way...!

Enjoy these photos of the infamous Italian Dinner...

(PHOTOS: 1. Seated for dinner (as you can see, we added 2 benches to accomodate everyone!); 2. Emily & Stephany, setting the table; 3. Table is ready to go!; 4. Girls on stairs, all dressed up for dinner; 5. Girls in the living room; 6. The group on the stairs (where we always take photos!); 7. Marissa making cheesecake (Sarah helped, too!)

NOTE: Click on each photo to enlarge it for a better view!

Last fall, Sarah and Stephany, a couple of the gals in my son's close group of friends, came to see me. They said, "We need your help." "Ok," I said, "what are we doing?" They went on to explain that they wanted to host a dinner and wanted my help. Well, naturally that was music to my ears! The two of them were representing the 'girls' of the gang who wanted to host an Italian Dinner for the 'guys'. What a great idea, I thought! And it was! The girls wanted to host the party here in our home and in our dining room, which also thrilled me! I cannot express how delighted I was that they were comfortable enough to want to have it here! And needless to say, we were thrilled that they were comfortable enough to ask!

We plotted and planned what to serve, how and whom to invite, what date would be best, how to convince the guys to 'dress up' and so forth. I'm not sure who was more excited - the girls or me! They decided what items they would serve and who would be responsible for each. In fact, they decided pretty much everything. It was their dinner and I wanted them to make decisions they would feel good about.

Our plan was to get back together to decide which dishes and centerpieces to use. I pulled samples of my collections so the girls could see what choices were available. The day before the dinner, Marissa and Sarah joined me in the kitchen and I taught them how to make cheesecake. I so enjoyed having the gals in the kitchen with me!

The following evening, Emily and Stephany came early to set up for the dinner. That was a fun time, too. Please see all the photos....

The time finally arrived and all the guests were here. Unfortunately, several from the group of friends could not attend because of work schedules, but the 13 who could attend seemed to have a fun evening. I know Ken and I sure did! We just let them take over the formal areas of the house and we surfaced only to serve, as needed (although the girls had that covered, too), and to take photos. We miss our kids, but we treasure the times we spent with them. We love you guys!

The Curb Appeal of Our Homes

2009-08-27T10:58:00.001-04:00

PHOTOS: Annie the duck (in her new dress), and Jeffrey Bob the tree)

How is the 'curb appeal' of your home? In other words, is the outside of your home appealing and welcoming to others? Is it pleasant and warm? Does it appear approachable and welcoming to family and friends?

We try to be warm and welcoming once folks make it to the front (or back) door. To help guests feel welcome before they get to the door, we've enlisted the help of a couple of characters (no, not our dear neighbors!) to assist us in this process. On our front porch, Annie the duck keeps an eye out for visitors, wanting to be the first to say 'Hello'! Now, we realize that most people who have these family members (from the 1980's!) have geese, but Annie thinks she's a duck, so we'll just leave it at that. We acquired Annie during the surprise Bed & Breakfast weekend getaway my husband planned for our anniversary earlier this summer. We purchased Annie at that time as a fun way to commemorate the weekend. Ken named her "Annie" in honor of our anniversary. So, when you come to see us, you'll find she's ready to welcome you to our home!

In the backyard, we have another family member we've named Jeffrey Bob. He's full of personality and he changes his look from season to season, as his hair-do (and its color) changes. When the tree is especially full, he sometimes look Jamaican. Other times, he looks a bit older, with thinning up on top.... Jeffrey Bob is visible from the kitchen and breakfast room on the back of our house and he keeps me company as I cook or work in the kitchen.

My friend Donna has a lovely decorative pond in her backyard landcaping. It's relaxing to sit by this little pond, complete with beautiful lillies and frogs (live and not), all in and around her pond. I always think of Donna when I'm out shopping and see ceramic frogs in the outdoor landscaping area of stores!

I have a neighbor who uses an old bicycle with baskets on both front and back which she fills with seasonal items. It's so cute! For the Christmas season, she might have a bunch of weatherproof poinsettias in the front basket and a wrapped "package" or two in the back one. During the summer I've seen fun seasonal items like gardening items and a straw hat in those baskets. What a fun way to decorate the outside of your home! I drive by sometimes just to see what treasures await passersby.

These are all fun ways to show your personality and welcome family and friends to you home. It's also part of the curb appeal of your home. When I sold real estate (in Charlotte and Durham, North Carolina), the quality of a house's curb appeal was always my first thought when looking at a house. It's sometimes very difficult to get a buyer inside a house with poor curb appeal. To sell a house, it's obviously important to get folks inside, so as an agent, I worked with my clients to help them overcome that potential barrier by helping them make the outside appear more welcoming.

I suppose it should go without saying, but the first part of making the front area of our houses welcoming is to keep it swept and free of cobwebs, leaves and critters (well, except for the aforementioned family members). I have found that keeping glass cleaner stored near the front door is an easy way to keep the glass and hardware clean and shiny. Sometimes I specifically go in and out the front door just to see what others see when they visit. When we use the back door or garage door all the time, it's easy to forget to check the front area. (With all the rain we've had last night and today, this reminds me that our front porch needs to be swept!)

Experts say when possible, paint your door a bright, welcoming color. Ours is a bright red door, which complements the gray brick and siding. A bright yellow or deep green also works well, depending on your color scheme. Lovely wood doors can be welcoming, too. Accessories become more important for these entries as the focus tends to land on peripheral items.

Using seasonal color is an easy way to brighten the entry areas to our homes. Obviously, spring, summer and even fall flowers are a terrific and easy way to accomplish this. Use colors that complement the exterior of your home. This summer we again have red flowers, which I love. They are mandevillas and are easy-care and bloom all summer. Unfortunately, flowers sometimes 'lose' their beauty as the summer wears on and the heat takes its toll. Quite honestly, for me, I get bored with some of the care involved after a while, especially with the flowers we have in the backyard. As my cousin, Lynn, used to say about such things: "The new wore off it!" It's true. After a while, I just don't have the interest and energy to keep working the summer flowers... I figure that's why God gives us new flowers for each season! In the meantime, Ken is always faithful to water the flowers and tomato plants that I so energetically begin in May!

I should say that when trying to sell your home, it's important to make it welcoming, but not too personal. Buyers need to be able to see themselves living in the space, not the current owners' possessions. But when we're not selling, just loving our homes and making them warm and welcoming, personalization is wonderful! Does the exterior of your house reflect the personality of you and your family? What does the outside of your home say about you?

Matthew (and Parents'!) Update

2009-08-25T17:41:00.000-04:00

Let me first say thank you to everyone who has visited, called, emailed, texted and IM'ed us since Matthew left for college. Your support has been amazing and Ken and I appreciate each one of you! I know that it is your support and especially your prayers that have gotten us successfully to Day 6 (but who's counting?!).

(This photo was taken at Summer Orientation several weeks ago, in front of the residence hall where Matthew now lives.)

So many of you have asked about Matthew, so here's a little update....

We helped Matthew move in on Wednesday of last week and then assisted him with some related moving in/college issues on Thursday. We said our goodbyes and left for home, not sure what to expect. Well, God is good. He takes care of us and He answers prayers. As you can tell from my tone (I hope) we are doing fine and life has gone on - imagine that! (And yes, Susie, we DID leave him at Miami! ;-)

Matthew is doing GREAT! He loves Miami University and has begun to adjust very well. He seems to be enjoying his classes so far (he has 6 classes including business, psychology, English and Calculus). He's met a lot of new students and has reconnected with several friends and acquaintances. He knows people there from summer orientation, Buckeye Boys' State and even his People to People Student Ambassador trip to Australia! It truly is a small world! One of his best friends from high school, Trent, is also a freshman at Miami this year.

Matthew is in the Honors Program at Miami and lives in one of the Honors Dorms (which, by the way, is co-ed). His roommate, Patrick, is from Cincinnati (which is less than an hour away) and the two of them seem to be hitting it off well. Trent is on the same floor, in an adjacent corridor. And some of the girls Matthew knows there live on floors in the same building.

Here are some fun tidbits Matthew has shared:

1. His Calculus professor stops about halfway thru class for a couple of jokes. He shares one and the student joke-teller of the day shares one. I love it!

2. Matthew loves his laundry service. Yes, they provide a laundry service (up to 12 pounds a week, I think). Matthew texted me and shared that he placed his laundry in his assigned bag and placed it on "the cable" Monday night about 11:00. After returning from his Calculus class on Tuesday, he was pleased to see his clean, folded laundry placed in a bag and laid on his bed. Amazing!! (Think they make house calls?) I think Matthew has decided to wash his towels and jeans and submit everything else to the laundry service.

3. After only a brief while, he has become increasingly impressed with Miami's Farmer's School of Business (for which Miami is known). He is seriously considering marketing as a major within the School of Business (he DOES take some things after me! :-) I know that regardless of what field of study he choses he will do well. He has drive and ambition and I have complete confidence in him and in whatever area he chooses.

4. Probably most importantly, I can tell that Matthew is making efforts to learn the campus and find out what's available to him and where it's all located. Miami's freshman orientation is wonderful (it's a 4-day event they call 'First Year Institute'). Activities during those days help students immensely, encouraging them to explore the campus. He is meeting people and participating in fun events around campus. We learned he sent an important 'thank you' via email from King Library one day while he was out and about. That was the day before the official orientation at the library, but he was scoping out the campus on his own and making use of the resources there, which we thought was terrific.

Needless to say, being away at school is an adjustment for student and parent. No matter how long we prepare, it's a challenge for everyone. Yet, I take great comfort in my belief that Matthew is where he needs to be at this point in his life. I will always miss him when he's not with me, but I know that he must pursue his passions, and as much as he loves Orrville, well, Miami University isn't here. So, I pray he makes good decisions and I ask God to keep him safe until I have the opportunity to see him again. And I have to say, that quick text or brief IM session with him has meant everything to get me this far. I know he's matured a great deal. Hopefully it's that maturity that enables him to see how very important that contact can be for us as his parents. It's been a little, but oh, so important way that he's been able to show hospitality to us from across the miles.

Easy Hot Fudge Sauce **

2009-08-25T07:29:00.000-04:00

I mentioned a recipe for hot fudge sauce in yesterday's blog posting. Upon request, I am including it, below. It's easy and delicious! One batch makes about 1-1/2 cups.

1 (6-ounce) package semi-sweet chocolate chips
OR 4 (1-ounce) squares semi-sweetchocolate
2 Tbls. margarine
1 (14-ounce can) Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk
Dash salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract

In heavy saucepan over medium heat, melt chips and margarine with sweetened condensed milk and salt. Cook, stirring constantly, until sauce is slightly thickened, about 5 minutes. DO NOT LET SAUCE BOIL OR STICK TO BOTTOM. Remove from heat; stir in vanilla. Serve over ice cream, cake, anything! Refrigerate leftovers.

Note: To reheat, add a small amount of water. Heat SLOWLY until heated through. Do not let sauce boil; stir frequently to keep from sticking.

** From Classic Desserts

Be a 'Party in a Box'

2009-08-24T09:05:00.000-04:00

For those of us who love to entertain, we envision the perfect setting where great planning, delicious food, fun activities and a clean house converge. Sometimes that happens and life is good. And sometimes we wait. We tell ourselves that we’ll wait until the kids are out for the summer, until the kids are back in school, until the kitchen is painted, until, until, until. But if we wait until these things happen or until our house is ready, we’ll never entertain. I know this is true because I’ve been there.

Our family has lived in Orrville for 12 years, but prior to that, we lived in 12 places in 13 years (yes, that’s right- 12 places in 13 years!). Hard to believe, I know. It’s hard even for me to believe it when I look back on those years, but it’s true. Ken only worked with a couple of companies during that time, but because he was in management, we had to 'move on to move up', as I have referred to that time of our lives. Believe it or not, I don’t regret a single one of those moves; I felt each one was the right decision at the time and if we had to, we’d make those same decisions today. Fortunately, all (except the last move) were prior to our son, Matthew starting school, and many were before he was even born. (Matthew began first grade in Orrville and graduated here earlier this year. Based on our early history, we are very proud of this!)

Because we lived in so many places, much of our early married life was literally life in transition. It seemed that by the time I got the house to a point where I was comfortable having people in, we were on the road again! We made and left many friends in those years. You’ve read my thoughts about how I feel I’ve neglected some of those friends through the years. As Barb, one of those old friends recently said to me, “Vanessa, you can’t worry about that. You were just trying to keep your head above water.” And while true, as one who loves hospitality and entertaining, I have regrets about much of that….

But, I digress! What I want to say is that I have learned the best way to overcome that is to simply BEGIN! Start somewhere! My best friend, Linda, was merely an acquaintance when she helped me to see the importance of doing just that. Although we had once worked at the same place, I did not know her. We actually met Linda and her husband, Brad, when my husband and I were invited to a small get-together at the home of mutual friends (Ray and Wanda) for ‘game night’. We all had so much fun and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Later that school year, all our sons (of the three couples) played baseball together on the high school baseball team. We really got to know each other at the games where we cheered on our sons’ team!

At one of those games, I made the suggestion that we should all get together at our house sometime. While I was trying to think of a good night to do that, Linda, in her ‘act now’ mentality (I call Linda our ‘party in a box’), suggested we get together after the game. That night!... On the way home!... At OUR house! Now, I keep a pretty clean and organized house, but I generally like to KNOW when I’m going to have eight extra people in IMMEDIATELY after a game, with no notice or planning whatsoever!! My friend Wanda, has teased me for years, telling me that I need to be more spontaneous. Well, I shocked them all that night when I said, “Why not?!” So, I ran it by Ken just to be sure. As expected, my husband who is my greatest supporter said, “Of course! Let’s do it!”

So, we did a mental check of what snacks we had at home, stopped by the grocery store for a few more things and then headed home where we were greeted by the first attendees of our impromptu party! Talk about a last-minute gathering! And it was a blast! We all had such fun! Our friendships with these couples only deepened. The next year we even went on vacation together with our families. And it REALLY began that night, when Linda invited herself and everyone else to our home. Everyone should have such a best friend!

I have to admit, these two couples are our ‘go-to’ friends when it comes to ‘easy’ entertaining. Whether we go to one of their houses or have them over at our house, it’s easy and comfortable. We’ve had all sorts of no-fuss events, like a Christmas party where our gift exchange was in the form of a ‘white elephant’ game (where each one brought a wrapped “gift,” something they had been given which was not only no longer wanted, but was never wanted in the first place. It’s a great way to get rid of something and a fun way to do it!) Easy! We have had game nights, and watched videos of Christian comedians, and even grilled pizza for a 4th of July celebration. Easy-to- please, easy-to-be-with friends! We all need those kinds of friends!

So, knowing that we all have some of these fun-loving, impromptu friends, how can we do impromptu entertaining without stressing out? Here are 10 quick suggestions, things I’ve learned to help me (the ultimate planner) with the ‘spur-of-the-moment’ get-togethers:

1. Make the food plan easy. Grill burgers, arrange a quick potluck, even order pizza. It’s the company, not the food that’s important.
2. Keep easy foods on hand. I sometimes joke that I like to visit my friend Sam (a.k.a. Sam’s Club!). At warehouse clubs you can find all sorts of easy foods to keep on hand. Cheese and veggie trays as well as sandwiches and quick-heat appetizers are always available there. Even their desserts are yummy. Bite-size cheesecakes and cream-filled popovers are frozen, but thaw quickly for an easy dessert. Now, I prefer to make all these things homemade, but again, quick is the name of the game for easy, no-fuss get-togethers.
3. Plan a game night. There are so many fun and easy games for a mixed group of friends and families with kids. Try Apples to Apples, UNO, or some of the other tried-and-true favorites. As your friends to bring their favorite games, too. Usually snack foods and sandwiches are easiest for these nights. (We always have potato chips, pretzels and crunchy snacks available thanks to Shearer’s, where my husband is plant manager. BTW, if you live locally and haven’t tried Shearer’s company store, you’re missing out! Lots of ‘seconds’ make for easy – and inexpensive – party snack food items!)
4. Plan a movie night. What’s easier than popcorn and apples for feeding everyone at this easy type of get-together? Add a bag of Junior Mints and Twizzlers and you’re good to go!
5. Set up a tentative time each month or quarter to get together. Then you have time to think about it a little in advance, assign foods, drinks, etc. If you or your friends have specialties or their own go-to foods, have them just plan to bring those. Linda makes a delicious homemade macaroni and cheese and we all love knowing we’ll have that at any gathering where more than desserts are served! Wanda is a terrific baker and anything she brings is always good! (Her cinnamon rolls are awesome and I request those whenever possible for early-day things!)
6. Meet at the park and enjoy a picnic. No one has to prepare their home and everyone brings enough food to share or maybe just items for your own family to enjoy. We live in a small town but we have a couple of places where we can pick up a bucket of chicken and joe’s (oven-fried potatoes) for an easy lunch or supper.
7. Just do dessert. Homemade ice cream and seasonal fruits are real crowd pleasers. How about s’mores? Easy, easy! I sometimes make brownies (homemade sometimes, box anytime!). Serve with Vanilla Bean ice cream and my easy hot-fudge sauce for a yummy dessert.
8. Keep needed items ready. Store paper plates, plastic utensils & cups as well as napkins in a large Ziploc bag for a quick grab-and-go to the picnic table or family room, wherever your party is congregating.
9. Keep homemade cookie batter in the freezer for easy cookies in a hurry. I’ve tried a variety of recipes for use in this way and I’ve never been disappointed.
10. It’s in the bag! Keep easy and fun activities ready to go in a bag or bin. Outside activities like yard darts, bocce ball or corn hole are always big hits. Bottles of bubbles keep the smaller kids happy. Why not add a few coloring books and crayons, too? Inside, a variety of games keeps everyone happy. Board games are a must, although Guitar Hero and Wii are always a blast in a group setting, too. Some group games are useful, but so are individual task-type games and puzzles. Years ago we used to have a puzzle set up to work on as the mood struck. Why not dig one out of the closet today? You’ll be surprised at how many of your guests (and family members) cannot resist placing a few pieces!

Most importantly, be a ‘party in a box’ person like Linda! Be willing to make those calls, invite your friends, and enjoy the time you have with them. Life is too short and circumstances are rarely perfect, so let’s make the best of today by making some memories with those we love and whose company we enjoy.

Ripping Off the Band-Aid

2009-08-22T09:25:00.000-04:00

Now don’t get me wrong: I hated to see Matthew leave for college. I have been preparing for this for almost as many years as I have been helping him prepare to go to college! Yet, this last month, although it zoomed by, also dragged by – for us and for him, too, I think.

I dreaded it with every part of my being, yet I knew it was inevitable. It was going to hurt like crazy, and although I knew the pain would be very real, I just wanted to get it over with. Ken (my hubby) said, “Yeah, it’s like ripping off a band-aid.” (And there you have it: a peek into our 25 year marriage. It takes me two paragraphs to explain a thought that Ken communicated in seven words!)

We tried to squeeze every moment of goodness out of those last weeks, days, minutes…. And then, in warp speed, the time to say goodbye came way too soon. Yes, it was hard, very hard, and we cried. But then we saw compassion on Matthew's face for our hurt and it made him seem so mature. And we also saw resolve there and the confidence he exuded. We took comfort in all those things, knowing that he truly is ready, just as we have known for a very long time.

And at that moment, we knew that we were, too. That doesn’t mean there won’t be difficult days and moments, but we do take comfort in that we are all ready for this next phase of our lives and we embrace it, anxious to see what God has in store for all of us.

The Brower House

2009-08-18T22:31:00.000-04:00

Like many of you these days, my husband and I are seeing our son off to college very soon. He’s our only child and has been the center of our world. How do we just leave him at college? Isn’t that a strange thought….we protect and nurture our kids, try to keep them well and happy and then we just….leave them? I imagine Ken and I will be able to accomplish that small, yet world-sized task…..we’ll see. One day soon I’ll know and then I’ll be back in touch to let you know how simple a task it proves to be.

In the meantime, I've been reflecting a lot lately and I wanted to share a poem with you Matthew wrote for an assignment in Junior High. As I understood it, the students were to use an acronym with their last names to create descriptions of their home lives (or something like that). What follows is Matthew’s version of The Brower House as he saw it at that time (which was probably about 2004):

The Brower House

Trees rustling in the backyard
Hot stove cooking dinner
Evenings drinking iced tea

Basketball court in the driveway
Room full of posters and jerseys
Once used things in the basement covered in dust
Wake up to the sun in the morning
Entering the garage driving the red minivan
Raking leaves in the fall

Hamburgers on the grill
October flowers blooming near the street
Under the roof when it rains
Smell of candles burning
Everyone in the house on Christmas

------Written by Matthew Brower

I love this poem and I have copies of The Brower House all over the Brower house! Although I would love to see his description of his life as it is now, as he prepares to leave for college, I don’t have that luxury. I wonder, too, like all parents wonder - what his life will be like in the future. I don’t have the luxury of that, either.

All I can do is send him into the world and pray that in the last 18 years his father and I have helped prepare him to face the challenges, lessons and joys that await him. My prayer is that he will be a man of integrity, that the values and morals which are such a part of Matthew will give him the strength to make decisions that he’ll be proud to recall as his. I also pray he has the compassion to value others and never see himself better (or worse) than anyone else. I hope he’ll have the work ethic he has witnessed in his dad and the love for others I hope he has seen in me. I pray he will find the passionate vocation he so desires and especially, the love of his life, the one God has already chosen. I hope he will value friendship and will continue to be a good friend to the many who grace his life now and in his future. Most importantly, I pray he will seek God’s will and direction for his life. I know that’s the true key to happiness.

And I hope he calls, e-mails, Skypes and texts his mother often. That’s not too much to ask, is it?