Are you a worrier? Do you often find yourself concerned about things over which you have no control? Well, it has been said that I have these tendencies. I can’t say I’m proud of this, but I can admit it is true (that is the first step in overcoming something, right?). When I think back about times I’ve been worried, and there are many – waaaayyy too many…. One in particular comes to mind, though.
About 10 years ago my husband was asked to speak at a national Toyota conference in beautiful C'oeur d' Lane, Idaho. I was invited to go as his guest and I must tell you, we were treated royally while guests of Toyota, and I still have fond memories of our time in Coeur de Lane (I wrote about this previously in a posting called, "What I've Learned About Hospitality from Others.")
http://aheartforhospitality.blogspot.com/2009/08/hospitality-is-so-much-more-than.html
(If this link doesn't work, just copy and paste into your browser to read, or type in "Toyota" in my search box.)
Again, let me say that I have great memories of our time there. The flight home was another story. should tell you that I am not a good flier anyway. I always dread flying and am so grateful when the trip – whatever it is – is behind me. But that particular trip home gave me a new appreciation for flying – or more specifically, landing. The beginning of the flight home was uneventful – my kind of trip. As we got closer to the Midwest, though, the weather changed dramatically and we had a lot of turbulence. It was loud and rocky and I was scared. I found myself very glad that our only child was safe at home with my dad and stepmom, who had come up from Tennessee for the week to take care of him. And as the trip progressed, I was also very grateful for my personal relationship with Jesus Christ, because I thought for sure I was about to meet Him.
I was in my seat praying and praying, trying to remain calm. I found myself thinking (and then saying aloud), “Peace! Be still” from Mark 4:39, when Jesus calmed the storm. “Peace! Be still,” I repeated to myself over and over. Others in the plane were clearly nonplussed, too. My husband, Ken? Nah. He was as calm as a cucumber . In fact, He took one look at me and started singing Veggie Tales songs to calm me. Veggie Tales! The words I heard were, “Oh where, is my hairbrush? Oh where, is my hairbrush?” Now to fully appreciate this, you need to understand that my husband is (self-proclaimed) follicle-y challenged. That is to say, very kindly, that he has very little hair. (It’s like I tell him, God made some heads perfect, and on the others He put hair.) But you get the message: this man takes it upon himself to calm the fear in the woman he loves. I am truly blessed.
Oh, and he has quite a sense of humor about it, too. This week we were relaxing in the family room and I was lamenting about something or other. We talked about it and I felt better. Then, I thought of another concern, which I mentioned to him. He raised his hand up in the air and touched his fingers against his thumb while moving his hand through the air. “Beep….beep….beep” he kept repeating. “What are you doing,” I asked? He smiled. I said, “What? What is it?” He smiled again, raised his arm up and again I heard, “Beep….beep….beep.” I was so confused. Then, he looked at me and said, “Your worry is like a heat-seeking missile. It keeps going until it lands on something.”
Yes, it is SO true that opposites attract. Poor guy, I wonder if he even had an inkling of what he was in for all those years ago when he asked me to marry him? Whether he knew or not, bless his heart, he’s stood in there with me. I am so blessed. It’s not every woman who can brag about a husband who sings Veggie Tales songs to calm her and tells her she’s got a personality like a heat-seeking missile! Am I lucky, or what?
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
A Lesson I Learned from My Son
This morning I was reminded of an incident that happened when our son was small. The sweet memory immediately brought a smile to my face and I thought I would share the story with you today.
Let me preface this story by saying that we have tried to set a positive Christian example for Matthew as he was growing up. Although we have been far from perfect as parents, we have shared our beliefs and values with him in what we hoped were age-appropriate ways. He is an only child, and although we don’t have an issue with the term “spoiled,” we wanted to be sure that he wasn’t spoiled in a bad sense. That is to say, yes, he was showered with love and affection, but we wanted him to value people and to be a generous and giving person. At the same time, we wanted him to understand that we need to be good stewards of all that God has given us. (We need not have worried, because he is very saving and rarely asks for anything. Now, we know our child and know what he likes, but whatever we give him it’s because we want him to have it, rarely because he has asked for it.)
Keeping the good steward concept in mind, at some point I shared with him a verse from Matthew that my mother had used to teach me. It's Matthew 7:6 and reads: “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.”
Yeah, I know that’s pretty heavy stuff for a little guy. And I also realize the passage this is taken from teaches us that we should not judge others. In our case, I used it to also explain that we need to be good stewards of whatever we have. We need to be generous, but at the same time we need to be careful not to “throw away” that which we have worked for.
And he seemed to get it. I can’t remember the circumstances under which I talked to Matthew about it that time, but I can certainly remember the second time it came up… It was when he was about 8 or 9. At that time I used to work in a neighboring town. Because I was already there during the day, I would often stop by in the evenings to get my hair done at a salon in the area. I also took Matthew to this salon. He has always been particular with his hair (not in a mom’s way particular, but particular, nonetheless), and whenever I found someone who cut his hair the way he liked, we continued to darken their door.
I later came back to our town to work and eventually realized that both of us would need to find someone new to assist us in the hair department. So, I needed to explain that to him. Now remember, this was a child who was very particular about who cut his hair. So with that in mind, I started to explain to him that since I no longer worked near that salon, we would need to find someone closer to our town to cut our hair. It simply didn’t make sense to drive 20 minutes to get a haircut, since we would be driving there just for that purpose.
I expected a little friction at my announcement; I shouldn’t have worried. When I started to explain that we needed to be good stewards of what God had given us (which really meant not driving JUST to get his hair cut), he smiled like he understood. Then he said, “Yeah, I know, Mommy. It’s like that Bible verse, right? ‘Don’t let your pigs wear jewelry’?”
At first, I didn’t know what he was talking about, then I realized he was referring to the “don’t cast your pearls before swine” part of that lesson! I laughed so hard for so long. I still remember it! He laughed too, but he wasn’t quite sure why. He thought I was just happy that he had remembered the lesson. Well, I was happy about that and I was also happy to know that even when we don’t think our kids hear us, they do. It’s just not always in the way we say; it’s in their interpretation!
We still laugh about that lesson. Whenever we wonder if we should purchase something or support a cause we’ve heard about, we know we have to be careful. After all, you can't let your pigs wear jewelry!
Let me preface this story by saying that we have tried to set a positive Christian example for Matthew as he was growing up. Although we have been far from perfect as parents, we have shared our beliefs and values with him in what we hoped were age-appropriate ways. He is an only child, and although we don’t have an issue with the term “spoiled,” we wanted to be sure that he wasn’t spoiled in a bad sense. That is to say, yes, he was showered with love and affection, but we wanted him to value people and to be a generous and giving person. At the same time, we wanted him to understand that we need to be good stewards of all that God has given us. (We need not have worried, because he is very saving and rarely asks for anything. Now, we know our child and know what he likes, but whatever we give him it’s because we want him to have it, rarely because he has asked for it.)
Keeping the good steward concept in mind, at some point I shared with him a verse from Matthew that my mother had used to teach me. It's Matthew 7:6 and reads: “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.”
Yeah, I know that’s pretty heavy stuff for a little guy. And I also realize the passage this is taken from teaches us that we should not judge others. In our case, I used it to also explain that we need to be good stewards of whatever we have. We need to be generous, but at the same time we need to be careful not to “throw away” that which we have worked for.
And he seemed to get it. I can’t remember the circumstances under which I talked to Matthew about it that time, but I can certainly remember the second time it came up… It was when he was about 8 or 9. At that time I used to work in a neighboring town. Because I was already there during the day, I would often stop by in the evenings to get my hair done at a salon in the area. I also took Matthew to this salon. He has always been particular with his hair (not in a mom’s way particular, but particular, nonetheless), and whenever I found someone who cut his hair the way he liked, we continued to darken their door.
I later came back to our town to work and eventually realized that both of us would need to find someone new to assist us in the hair department. So, I needed to explain that to him. Now remember, this was a child who was very particular about who cut his hair. So with that in mind, I started to explain to him that since I no longer worked near that salon, we would need to find someone closer to our town to cut our hair. It simply didn’t make sense to drive 20 minutes to get a haircut, since we would be driving there just for that purpose.
I expected a little friction at my announcement; I shouldn’t have worried. When I started to explain that we needed to be good stewards of what God had given us (which really meant not driving JUST to get his hair cut), he smiled like he understood. Then he said, “Yeah, I know, Mommy. It’s like that Bible verse, right? ‘Don’t let your pigs wear jewelry’?”
At first, I didn’t know what he was talking about, then I realized he was referring to the “don’t cast your pearls before swine” part of that lesson! I laughed so hard for so long. I still remember it! He laughed too, but he wasn’t quite sure why. He thought I was just happy that he had remembered the lesson. Well, I was happy about that and I was also happy to know that even when we don’t think our kids hear us, they do. It’s just not always in the way we say; it’s in their interpretation!
We still laugh about that lesson. Whenever we wonder if we should purchase something or support a cause we’ve heard about, we know we have to be careful. After all, you can't let your pigs wear jewelry!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Unexpected Blessings
We have been on the road for part or all of the last five weekends for some wonderful events (well, most have been wonderful, and one 'weekend' was a Monday, but you get the picture....). As a result, it seems like our life has been rush, rush, rush. So, when this last weekend was filled with several reflective moments that truly stood out among the others, it made me think about just how very blessed I am. They have also made me think that God is telling me I should slow down and think about what I have. Instead of rushing forward to accomplish the next thing – whatever that thing is – that I should slow down and be grateful. I need to be more thankful for what I have been given and for what He has done. I thought I’d share these moments with you.
Our son brought nine members of Miami’s Table Tennis Team to our home to spend the night Friday night. They competed at the University of Akron on Saturday and we had the opportunity to host these young men while they were in our area. It was a special time and Ken and I loved every minute of it!
While they were here, Miami University (football) was playing in its conference match Friday night (MAC). After we welcomed the guys in and talked a bit, they were watching the game in the family room. I had taken a call in the living room, and after my call I just sat there, listening to the talk in the family room and looking at our Christmas tree, enjoying the beautiful lights.
Those of you who know me personally are well aware that I know nothing of football. What I do know is the sound of excitement I heard coming from our family room as Miami edged closer and closer to winning that game. Sure enough, Miami took the MAC that night! I heard whoops and hollers and my, did it do my heart good! You have to understand that Miami did TERRIBLY last year (maybe they were even in last place in the MAC??? I’m not sure…). I can tell you with all certainty that they won Friday night. Those guys were so excited! I hope they will remember where they were that night, because I know I will. Even though I know nothing about football, I’ll remember that.
The following day we met the team at U of Akron for the matches. Now, cheering for table tennis matches is kind of like cheering for golf and tennis – you have to be fairly quiet and very reserved. That however, did not stop us from ‘doing the wave’ on occasion for our team and providing other support as we deemed necessary.
We had the opportunity to steal a little time away with our son on that day. Our time with him is always priceless. We saw a different side of him that day, though. Matthew has developed a real compassion for ESL (English as a second language) students at Miami. He shared with us how the development of the table tennis team (which he and his friends founded at Miami last year as an intra-mural sport, and has since been picked up by the University as a Club Sport) is a “home away from home” for many foreign students without family ties near campus. Several ESL students practice with the team each week and three came last weekend; two were from China and one was from Viet Nam. Seeing our son exhibit this kind of compassion and mature in this way has been an incredible gift for us. Personally, I see it as an extension of hospitality, so I see it as a double blessing.
Because we’ve been away so much lately, we have missed many church services. On Sunday we took two cars because Ken needed to go into work and had to leave before service was over. As we sat there holding hands before he left, I sat there thanking God for the blessings I enjoyed in the man he had given me and the life we enjoy. I know I take so much for granted and right there in that very moment, it was like time stood still. Have you ever had that happen?
Later that evening, when Ken returned, it happened again. I had a headache and Ken held me on the couch. It was late afternoon, the lights were off and the snow was falling softly outside. It was so quiet and we didn’t speak. I just let him hold me and enjoyed the moment and watched the snow fall. The world seemed to stop – if only for a moment.
I was so thankful for that moment. It was actually at that time that the other three events of the weekend came to mind and I realized that they were connected. I think God is telling me to slow down and be thankful. I take so much for granted and have been blessed with so very much.
It’s especially easy to get drawn into a frazzled pattern this time of year. I have been so guilty of that in past years. I pray I can keep my focus on the Reason for the Season and remain thankful for all the blessings I have.
Our son brought nine members of Miami’s Table Tennis Team to our home to spend the night Friday night. They competed at the University of Akron on Saturday and we had the opportunity to host these young men while they were in our area. It was a special time and Ken and I loved every minute of it!
While they were here, Miami University (football) was playing in its conference match Friday night (MAC). After we welcomed the guys in and talked a bit, they were watching the game in the family room. I had taken a call in the living room, and after my call I just sat there, listening to the talk in the family room and looking at our Christmas tree, enjoying the beautiful lights.
Those of you who know me personally are well aware that I know nothing of football. What I do know is the sound of excitement I heard coming from our family room as Miami edged closer and closer to winning that game. Sure enough, Miami took the MAC that night! I heard whoops and hollers and my, did it do my heart good! You have to understand that Miami did TERRIBLY last year (maybe they were even in last place in the MAC??? I’m not sure…). I can tell you with all certainty that they won Friday night. Those guys were so excited! I hope they will remember where they were that night, because I know I will. Even though I know nothing about football, I’ll remember that.
The following day we met the team at U of Akron for the matches. Now, cheering for table tennis matches is kind of like cheering for golf and tennis – you have to be fairly quiet and very reserved. That however, did not stop us from ‘doing the wave’ on occasion for our team and providing other support as we deemed necessary.
We had the opportunity to steal a little time away with our son on that day. Our time with him is always priceless. We saw a different side of him that day, though. Matthew has developed a real compassion for ESL (English as a second language) students at Miami. He shared with us how the development of the table tennis team (which he and his friends founded at Miami last year as an intra-mural sport, and has since been picked up by the University as a Club Sport) is a “home away from home” for many foreign students without family ties near campus. Several ESL students practice with the team each week and three came last weekend; two were from China and one was from Viet Nam. Seeing our son exhibit this kind of compassion and mature in this way has been an incredible gift for us. Personally, I see it as an extension of hospitality, so I see it as a double blessing.
Because we’ve been away so much lately, we have missed many church services. On Sunday we took two cars because Ken needed to go into work and had to leave before service was over. As we sat there holding hands before he left, I sat there thanking God for the blessings I enjoyed in the man he had given me and the life we enjoy. I know I take so much for granted and right there in that very moment, it was like time stood still. Have you ever had that happen?
Later that evening, when Ken returned, it happened again. I had a headache and Ken held me on the couch. It was late afternoon, the lights were off and the snow was falling softly outside. It was so quiet and we didn’t speak. I just let him hold me and enjoyed the moment and watched the snow fall. The world seemed to stop – if only for a moment.
I was so thankful for that moment. It was actually at that time that the other three events of the weekend came to mind and I realized that they were connected. I think God is telling me to slow down and be thankful. I take so much for granted and have been blessed with so very much.
It’s especially easy to get drawn into a frazzled pattern this time of year. I have been so guilty of that in past years. I pray I can keep my focus on the Reason for the Season and remain thankful for all the blessings I have.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
More Creative Ideas for Thanksgiving (and the Thanksgiving Dinner Table)
Lots of visitors to my blog still arrive from an entry I posted last year about game ideas for the Thanksgiving dinner table. Here are 10 additional ideas to make your time together as a family more fun!
1. Start story time. Remember when mom...? or remember when Cousin Fred broke his foot skiing….?
2. Using a journal or notebook, jot down a thought about previous get-togethers. Encourage others to do the same and add to it each year.
3. Ask a grandparent, aunt or uncle to talk about a memory from childhood. Ask questions to show interest. You'll be surprised at how much they remember.
4. Talk about a family vacation. Hopefully with time, even the less-than-pleasant memories will be fun to recall now. Hopefully!
5. Start a new tradition. Have the kids make placemats, placecards or help with dessert. Often the kids are stationed at a separate table and that can be fun, too. After the meal, think about how everyone can come together for a fun time doing a special activity together.
6. Some families “draw names” for Christmas at the Thanksgiving gathering. We did this in my mother’s family and it was always a time we looked forward to each Thanksgiving with anticipation.
7. Create a simple craft tradition. Even teens and adults can enjoy a fun craft. If you have an hour or two of open time, a choice of crafts can easily fill that time and help to create fun memories. Be sure to take pictures to document the occasion.
8. Play a game. As obvious as it is, sometimes just a fun game can help keep everyone occupied and out of trouble. Apples to Apples, Banana Grams, Scrabble, Outburst and more come to mind. What’s the favorite in your family?
9. Set up a puzzle table. Some people love to have an activity but just aren’t the game type. Consider setting up a game table in the corner for these folks with a puzzle. You’ll be amazed at just how many people can’t resist stopping by to place a piece or two - or a hundred! Word searches are popular with the older crowd, too.
10. Keep a camera handy. You’ll want to take photos to commemorate the kids playing, grandparents playing with the babies and that infamous football game in the backyard. Memories are priceless and photos help us to remember them longer.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends. I wish you and yours a blessed holiday!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Hospitality is Not Wasted on the Young!
You know how they say youth is wasted on the young? Well, I tell you that hospitality is not wasted on the young; it is alive and well! I am so impressed with this new generation of young people who will soon be entering the professional workforce. Just within the last two days, I’ve learned of two amazing examples and I want to share them with you.
When we met in Columbus with our son and one of his friends last weekend, we learned that their group of friends is planning a trip to Chicago soon. I offered to contact a friend’s daughter, who is a junior at the University of Chicago, to see if she could make a recommendation for a nice hotel close to downtown Chicago. They liked the idea of information from "an insider," and I offered to contact the young lady.
So I emailed Chelsea (whom I have met only once, when she was about 5 years old) and asked if she could suggest a hotel for the guys’ trip next month. Within hours I had a response from Chelsea. Imagine my surprise when I read her return email which had not only the hotel recommendation, but also information about the shuttle service the hotel offers as well as info about public transportation options in the area. And it didn’t stop there. Chelsea gave specifics about walking distance, time needed, costs and a even link for additional information! She also included a link to the hotel she recommended, which also offered a discount, if you can imagine that!
As if that weren’t enough, Chelsea offered her cell phone number and invited my son and his friends to call her with questions about directions or restaurant recommendations. Is that not amazing?! She took the time to give really useful information and all I asked for was a hotel recommendation! Yet, Chelsea thought of everything and truly exceeded my expectations with her amazing hospitality.
I heard a while back that Chelsea was considering law or journalism. I'm not sure the direction she has chosen, but I am very sure she will be successful in whatever career path she selects. I know she would be a HUGE success in the hospitality or traveling industries!
Just prior to my contact with Chelsea, I became aware of our son extending hospitality to a business associate of my husband’s. Matthew learned this gentleman would be at his college for a career fair and emailed him to offer his assistance. Upon learning the man would have no one to help him at the career fair, Matthew offered to help him set up, navigate campus and even meet him for a meal, if he would like. Even though he is pursuing a career path different from the one the man represents, Matthew offered to send some friends and acquaintances in his direction who might be interested in the field. We learned this from the emails they exchanged, which the man forwarded to my husband.
We hear so much about this generation being me, me, me! Frankly, I think we’re being unfair. Many in this generation show incredible character and maturity. If this generation is our future – and let’s face it, they are! – I think we’re in terrific, capable hands.
When we met in Columbus with our son and one of his friends last weekend, we learned that their group of friends is planning a trip to Chicago soon. I offered to contact a friend’s daughter, who is a junior at the University of Chicago, to see if she could make a recommendation for a nice hotel close to downtown Chicago. They liked the idea of information from "an insider," and I offered to contact the young lady.
So I emailed Chelsea (whom I have met only once, when she was about 5 years old) and asked if she could suggest a hotel for the guys’ trip next month. Within hours I had a response from Chelsea. Imagine my surprise when I read her return email which had not only the hotel recommendation, but also information about the shuttle service the hotel offers as well as info about public transportation options in the area. And it didn’t stop there. Chelsea gave specifics about walking distance, time needed, costs and a even link for additional information! She also included a link to the hotel she recommended, which also offered a discount, if you can imagine that!
As if that weren’t enough, Chelsea offered her cell phone number and invited my son and his friends to call her with questions about directions or restaurant recommendations. Is that not amazing?! She took the time to give really useful information and all I asked for was a hotel recommendation! Yet, Chelsea thought of everything and truly exceeded my expectations with her amazing hospitality.
I heard a while back that Chelsea was considering law or journalism. I'm not sure the direction she has chosen, but I am very sure she will be successful in whatever career path she selects. I know she would be a HUGE success in the hospitality or traveling industries!
Just prior to my contact with Chelsea, I became aware of our son extending hospitality to a business associate of my husband’s. Matthew learned this gentleman would be at his college for a career fair and emailed him to offer his assistance. Upon learning the man would have no one to help him at the career fair, Matthew offered to help him set up, navigate campus and even meet him for a meal, if he would like. Even though he is pursuing a career path different from the one the man represents, Matthew offered to send some friends and acquaintances in his direction who might be interested in the field. We learned this from the emails they exchanged, which the man forwarded to my husband.
We hear so much about this generation being me, me, me! Frankly, I think we’re being unfair. Many in this generation show incredible character and maturity. If this generation is our future – and let’s face it, they are! – I think we’re in terrific, capable hands.
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